Holding Hands: Gravity & All is Lost

Holding Hands: Gravity & All is Lost
by B. Harvey

SEC Week 4 Preview

SEC Week 4 Preview
by M. Langston

In the Name of Preserving Journalistic Integrity!!!

In the Name of Preserving Journalistic Integrity!!!
by B. Harvey

The Truth about Summer: Recently Read Nonfiction

The Truth about Summer: Recently Read Nonfiction
by B. Harvey

Jameis Winston is just one of the guys

September 21, 2014

That's right! I'm Jameis Winston! And always will be. Good morning, good afternoon, and good night!
All in all, Jameis Winston is just one of the guys, just like you and just like me. He just wants to be part of the team regardless of whether he's been suspended for a game or not. For him, it's just about supporting his bros, and the only way to support the bros is in full pads. Plus, maybe coach didn't really mean sit this one out. Maybe when coach said, "Hey, Jameis, we're suspending you for the Clemson game," coach was really talking to that other Jameis. Coach is always so funny. Not to worry, though, Jameis does everything in pads and a helmet. His identity is wrapped up in pads and a helmet. How else was he going to honor the Seminole tribe last night without wearing their authentic warrior gear? So, if you ever see Jameis Winston, just remember, he's just like all of us, only he wears really badass helmets and shoulder pads.

Telling Time Magazine's Richard Corliss that Guardians of the Galaxy was actually really awesome

September 20, 2014

Time Magazine film critic, Richard Corliss, wrote a review for Guardians of the Galaxy entitled "A Bratty Star Wars." In it, he proclaims Guardians to pretty much be a film patched together with Marvel Comic's leftover characters acting out scenes stolen from much older and "better" films. So to Mr. Corliss, in the name of brats everywhere, I say that's exactly what made the film so damn awesome.

SEC Week 4 Preview

The lone good game of this week's SEC slate was played on Thursday in Manhattan, Kansas. Since my procrastination doesn't have classwork to delay me any longer, it has manifested itself in through my yardwork. The last thing I want to do on a Saturday in the fall is yardwork. After all, the grass and weeds will all be dying soon anyway. That is, unless my neighbor mows his lawn. Then I am obligated, driven by guilt and shame, to mow the yard and pull the weeds. Anyways, due to my procrastination all we have left is a yawn-inducing week of SEC football. Which is weird, because it's the third Saturday of September and the Gators aren't playing Tennessee. Thanks, Obama!* Anyhow, let's get to the games.

Flora-Bama
The Gators continue their Muschamp Goodbye Tour this week in Tuscaloosa. It might be a decent game. But this battle for the panhandle could also get ugly. This same Gator team allowed the Cats to rack up 30 points, 450 total yards and 369 passing yards. Sure, they were okay against the run but that's only because Kentucky didn't have to run to score. The Cats threw three interceptions and the Gators still needed three over-times to put them over the top. Now, every team is capable of having a bad week. But I'm betting it's more of a sign of how Florida is still down and last season was no aberration. They'll need a flawless game this week to beat Alabama, whether it's Blake Sims or Jacob Coker throwing the rock. Alabama 35, Florida 17.



Dogs-Tigers
Dan Mullen has turned Mississippi State into a pretty good squad. They are no longer the pushover where SEC foes automatically penciled in a win when they showed up on the schedule. However, they aren't quite there yet and I'm not sure they'll ever get to the point where you will have to question whether or not they can beat LSU in Death Valley. LSU 27, Mississippi State 14.

Cocks-Dores
There is one final SEC match-up this week and it's merely filler. USC makes the trip to Nashville to play Vandy. No one expected the 'Dores post-Franklin would go into such a quick decline. Whether their backslide was caused by Franklin leaving the cupboard bare or they were winning almost single-handedly fueled by his charisma, it's arbitrary and meaningless at this point. The only thing that matters is the Dores are no longer a threat and the Gamecocks should blow their doors off. USC 42, VU 10.

As for the rest of the SEC, see the gifs below. The SEC brings the funk, and the fury.




It's morphin time!

*Actually, the move to 14 teams ruined any sense of history or rivalries. But hey, at least Vandy sucks again. /shrugs

In the Name of Preserving Journalistic Integrity!!!

Jay Berwanger does exist!
I've been an admirer of the writing done at The Classical for a while now, and two of my favorite pieces of sports writing (of late) have appeared on their site: Ross Green's "Gael Monfils is Gael Monfils" and Jonny Auping's "Awareness, #Awareness, and Ray Rice". In the past, I've sent their editors some rather garbled ideas (like some nonsense about Tony Gonzalez playing the tight end position like Hunter S. Thompson), but this week something finally worked out: "Todd Gurley, Kareem Hunt, Running Towards, and Running Away".

SEC Week 3 Preview

September 12, 2014




The SEC moves into its second week of the SEC-G5 Challenge, meaning we have another week filled with yawners, leaving one potentially awesome game and another that should have been an awesome game. First, let's tackle the latter.

The Truth about Summer: Recently Read Nonfiction

September 7, 2014

The books discussed below are in no particular order. I enjoyed them all. Feel free to leave recommendations of your own. Here goes:




The Unwinding: An Inner History of the New America by George Packer (2013)

For those familiar with the modernist texts of Jon Dos Passos, Packer's text is, in many ways, a nonfiction pastiche of Dos Passos' (mostly fictive) U.S.A. trilogy. Packer's book also received the National Book Award for Nonfiction, so it's not really like it needs me to advertise. Needless to say, I found myself engrossed with its handling of American lives, from a single mother in Ohio to a businessman of the Carolina Piedmont. He takes individual lives and weaves them into the national fabric in what seems like the most natural of movements, and that's what Packer's text does--moves us from one American epoch that is slightly known into one that none of us can recognize, except for the fact that it is made of individuals like you and like me.

I read a great deal of this book on my back patio, looking over a back yard that is, literally, a postage stamp, and from there, I reflected a great deal on my deceased grandfather's tobacco farm. I reflected on his love for the land, but, then, I also reflected on the bigotry of his that seemed to increase with his age and his dementia. This book helped me to understand that beyond biology breaking him, so, too, was the world of political force--and all its religion--grinding him, and other men like him, into dust. There were times when the clarity of this text stunned me so that I could not read. I would close the book's cover, hold its smooth edges, and stare out over what little part of the world bears my name. I looked out onto nothing, thought shit, and then did what little I could do--I kept reading and stopping and reading some more.

Lieutenant Nun: Memoir of a Basque Transvestite in the New World by Catalina De Erauso

Written in the 17th Century, one does not expect the contemporary force and pace of Quentin Tarantino, but at a mere eighty pages Erauso's memoir blisters like a sword hilt. By owing parts of its nature to the baroque Don Quixote and finding a picaresque voice in the Western wild, this romping tale reads as a literary precursor to Mark Twain's most rebellious characters, while somehow foreshadowing the vengeful blood lust of Beatrix Kidd. Seriously, this book is everything and nothing, and no one knows what to do with it other than to read it. I found visions of women wearing Bruce Lee tracksuits, but God knows what you'll find. Blood. Daring. Bravado. A woman spitting on the church doors. Just. Read. It.

The Sixth Extinction by Elizabeth Kolbert (2014)

Earlier in the year, this book's second chapter "The Mastodon's Molars" appeared in The New Yorker, ending in the lines:

"In fact, the American mastodon vanished around thirteen thousand years ago. Its demise was part of a wave of disappearances that has come to be known as the megafauna extinction. This wave coincided with the spread of modern humans and, increasingly, is understood to have been a result of it. In this sense, the crisis Cuvier discerned just beyond the edge of recorded history was us." (46)

It's not necessarily Kolbert's conclusions at the end of each chapter that are overwhelming, although they are, but how she manages to arrive at them, moving through obscure fossils and seemingly insignificant studies of fungi and mold to, in the deftest of brushstrokes, reveal the hidden bones of the world in which we currently live and, most likely, will die, not just as individuals but as a species. Her writing is both well-crafted and of great importance. After all, she is making rather complex ideas understandable for those readers who are neither paleontologist nor scientists. She had me near tears over the Great Auk's extinction. Need I say more?

One auk pondering whether to ask another auk about extinction; neither one said anything.

The New Mind of the South by Tracy Thompson (2013)

I'm still parceling out exactly what to make of this text. I found it informative and exploratory; it should receive some credit for helping to lay the foundation for one of my new favorite online magazines: The Bitter Southerner. The South is in need of being redefined, but in that need, like in so many other characteristics, the place seems to never change. I'll be thinking on it some more.


Bryan Harvey can be followed on Twitter @LawnChairBoys.
 

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