After Defeating Tiger Woods, Y.E. Yang Challenged by Kim Jong-Il

After out dueling Tiger Woods in the 2009 PGA Championship, Y.E. Yang received a mysterious text message on his phone that read, "You...me...showdown for whole peninsula...at mouth of laughing clown."

Yang, a native of Seoul, South Korea, did not know from whom the message was sent, much less what it meant, but two hours later he received another text from the same number, stating, "This is KJI, the ruler of countries, the raper of fairways...."

In short, Y.E. Yang, after defeating the man most people consider to be the world's greatest golfer, was being challenged by the world's actual greatest golfer.

North Korea's Kim Jong-Il regularly shoots several hole in one's per golf outing; his first time playing the game he shot 38 under par, on eighteen holes. Knowing the golfing prowess of North Korea's "Dear Leader" allows one to see the man in a new light.

Kim Jong-Il could have easily given up the stresses of being a de facto leader and lived the luxurious life of a professional golfer, but his love for his people, along with testing long and short range missiles, outweighed his lust for the gentleman's game of golf; but now the game of golf has provided Kim Jong-Il an opportunity to bring a love so strong it starves all those it touches to the entire Korean peninsula.

Kim Jong-Il wants the winning purse of his match with Yang to be the unification of the Korean people. If Yang wins, the South Korean government will take over North Korea, but if Kim Jong-Il wins, which is inevitable, the Democratic People's Republic of Korea will, in the words of its leader, "swoop down, like giant pterodactyl, claiming its nest and pigeon-pooping on false leadership of the South."

Yang has not reported whether or not he will accept the challenge, but his indecision is not preventing Kim Jong-Il from texting him every hour with messages that read, "Prepare for giant windmill to swoop down and smack you in the balls, Yang."

Of course, to any man who stands 5'3", leader of the DPRK or not, every windmill is a giant one.