Point/Counterpoint: Jason Whitlock on Rick Pitino

This is our newest column where we wrangle every nonsensical statement a writer proclaims in their commentary. Our next victim is none other than Jason Whitlock, taken from the article titled "Pitino ran into the biggest dynasty in sports":

The '72 Dolphins can't touch Pussy Galore.

Wow, nice reference, way to stay current, Jason.

Adding Rick Pitino, Josh Hamilton and Reggie Miller to her list of victims, Pussy Galore's record remains unblemished and unprecedentedly gaudy since the beginning of the decade when A.C. Green escaped the NBA untainted by her joys.

Pitino is a victim of his own arrogance, not Pussy Galore's wickedness. Let me remind you that Pitino had sex with Mrs. Sypher on the floor of a restaurant. Now, that's class. Josh Hamilton is a victim due to his addiction, not Pussy Galore's wickedness. Reggie Miller is single and has no respect for the sanctity of marriage, but he is no victim.

Reportedly, she's set her sights on Tim Tebow, vowing to bring down the allegedly still-celibate Heisman Trophy-winning quarterback before the BCS title game.
Is there a logical reason to believe she won't succeed?

Are you honestly doubting Tim Tebow's reserve?

She impeached a president and now, more impressively, she threatens to topple a highly successful college basketball coach. As my mother would say, she's a bitch on a bicycle. Respect her and her power or risk experiencing her wrath.
Pitino should've coughed up the $10 million. His reputation will never recover.

Hush-hush money, huh? How about not cheating on your wife? It's much cheaper.

Seriously, I don't want to make excuses for Pitino. I don't want to rationalize his gross error, but you know damn well Pussy Galore's BFF (booze) played a major role in this fiasco. This sounds like the mother of all Patron body shots that skidded way off course.

Apparently, alcohol is just as vindictive as Pussy Galore. But, Jason, it wasn't alcohol's fault, it was the terrorists' fault.

Look, the adultery is bad. His $3,000 bribe/health care package is worse. But those, along with his Catholicism, are private matters properly left between Pitino and his wife and family. Louisville should not use some sort of flimsy morality clause to get rid of Pitino.

Whitlock, be honest, you know what it's like to be in a restaurant after hours and leave with a $3,000 plumbing bill.

He is no more immoral than Hamilton and Miller, PG's other recent victims.

Really? A man who invoked 9/11, paid for an abortion while trying to cover up his misdeeds, and denied all of the accusations until it was too late is no more immoral than Josh Hamilton and Reggie Miller. Really?

I know, Hamilton blamed his fall off the wagon on his addiction to alcohol and drugs. The Deadspin pictures told a far different story. Drunken actions are sober thoughts. The groping, licking and backdooring revealed a man using the bottle as an excuse to reconnect with the real love of his life, Strange Tang.

Strange Tang, I was just getting used to Pussy Galore. Also, how do Honey Ryder, Alotta Fagina, and Sylvia Trench fit into this equation?

And just as Hamilton should thank Pitino for diverting attention away from his defeat, Reggie Miller can thank Hamilton for overshadowing his text-message pursuit of a 25-year-old clothing designer with a crazy, rich and vindictive fiance.

Do you really believe that? The Hamilton story died because he confronted the pictures honestly, not because Pitino's abortion story overshadowed his moment of weakness. And why even bring up Reggie? Do you honestly think flirting over the phone is on par with Pitino?

Just think about that and ask yourself if there is a more powerful force on this planet than Pussy Galore.

Tim Tebow..? The power of love? Polka power?

I'm sure some of you reading this are appalled that I won't pass harsh judgment on Pitino's transgression. You're making the same mistake made by the hypocritical South Carolina governor who voted to impeach President Clinton.
Or you play for a team that never schedules Pussy Galore as an opponent.

In summation, Pussy Galore has never lost in an effort to take down athletes, celebrities, or everyday people like you and me. Pitino, Hamilton, and Reggie are all victims of her enchantment. Pitino's story should be private, even though he is a public figure and coaches young men on and off the court. Tim Tebow will be taken down shortly, even though he has devoted his entire life to Christ. Hamilton and Reggie should be thankful for Pitino's misdeeds, even though Hambone's story was dead before the Pitino story broke and Reggie didn't really do anything wrong. Lastly, if you don't agree with anything Jason said, you're a hypocrite and/or gay.