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Breakfast with Berndon: Day 1 Recap

March 19, 2010


What an amazing start to everything. Today proved why this is the greatest sporting event we have in America. Nothing can top March Madness, specifically when you start the first day off with 3 overtime games, one buzzer beater and two game-winners with less than 3 seconds left. Even if it was just these three incredible games that captivated audiences, it would still be considered to be a highly successful beginning. There was more however, as thirteen of the 16 contests were either decided late in the game, or involved a huge upset. Here are some highlights from my day of gladly shelling out the 70 bucks for Mega March Madness, and not moving from my chair except to go to the bathroom or to re up on my chewing tobacco intake.

Bob Wenzel/Bill Raftery: The Milton Bradley and Albert Pujols of basketball announcing respectively, although I don’t think Wenzel tried to beat up any fans or displayed any other signs of aggression and anger management issues. I compare Wenzel to Bradley because I think he might be mentally unstable just like ole Milton. It seemed like anytime anyone made a big play or did something quasi-spectacular, Wenzel’s idea of analysis was maniacal laughter. I didn’t think anything of it until he did it a couple of times. It was mildly disturbing and probably gave Spiro Whatever the hell his name is the heebe-geebies as well. Raftery however, once again knocked every fastball out of the park. I love this guy. It might be because he’s a bit of a night owl like myself, he references drinking a lot in many clever ways, or the fact that he knows his basketball and really makes it known that he loves his job without going overboard like Dicky V. I love his Rafteryisms like “lingerie on the deck,” his signature beginning call of “MantoMan!” and of course his referencing someone having “onions” when making a big play. If I was announcing I’d probably just say someone has big balls when they showed testicular fortitude. Is it too much to ask to let Raf and Gus Johnson call a game together. It very well could be the greatest announcing duo of all time, and I think they could make a Parks and Rec game involving 8 year-old girls interesting.

Nail-biters: I already mentioned this in the beginning, but I don’t ever remember watching that many great games in the first day ever. Not necessarily great as in superbly well-played, but games that were “edge of your seat” close. Props to the committee for picking some superb match ups.

Texas: God I fucking hate Rick Barnes. Langston mentioned his quote where he basically said that preparing his guys for the NBA is more important than winning anything of significance. Well Rick, go coach in the fucking D League then. How this frustrating mess of talent and underachievement blew an 8-point lead to Wake in overtime is beyond me. Just when I was prepared to write about how freshmen Jordan Hamilton, J’Covan Brown, and Avery Bradley took a couple of steps toward maturity and living up to their over-hyped reputations, they blew it. I only picked Texas to win one and lose to Kentucky, but when Dexter Pittman’s fat ass got rim-checked TWICE IN A ROW trying to dunk, my Directv remote almost got gunned through my TV screen as thought I was Tim Lincecum. Good riddance Tejas, I hate you and I’m glad I don’t have to write anything else about you until next season.

BYU: Add the Cougars to the “Brendan Brody Hates You” party. I don’t really hate them that much, and I respect the hell out of their skills, I just like to joke about Mormons, and also it’s frustrating that whichever way I pick them, the outcome goes the opposite way. This year is the first year I picked against them, and of course they won. Props to Jimmer Fredette, you are quickly becoming a household name, and if you stick around the collegiate ranks next year, you could become the Mormon version of JJ Redick. Also props to Michael Loyd and his Steve Urkel-level abilities. I can’t remember if I used this in BBE or not, but on first glance when BYU played New Mexico and Loyd just took over stretches of the game, it reminded me of the “Family Matters” episode when Urkel gets in the game and just goes nuts with like 30 points and 15 assists. He’s unexpectedly unstoppable, making me wonder why he didn’t get more burn at the beginning of the year, and also if Jaleel White is a closet BYU hoops fan.

Kansas/Kentucky: One juggernaut looked unstoppable. One juggernaut looked shaky. I haven’t been sold on Kansas all year, and I think Ohio St. will beat them. Also Cole Aldrich is absolute trash, he has no NBA future whatsoever other than being a backup center for 5 years.

Georgetown: The Hoyas have been plagued by inconsistency all year, and proved that they didn’t deserve a 3 seed at all. The committee forgot that they had 10 losses, instead getting a chubby because they beat Duke at home. I’d say I’m surprised by the result, but I’m really not. They have no depth, and were a product of the Big East hype machine which I’ll get to momentarily.

Murray St.: This was one of two games that left me very close to starting off the first day with a putrid 9 out of 16 wins in my bracket, instead propelling me, along with Washington’s last-second triumph to a somewhat respectable 11out of 16. And to think, I almost broke one of my sacred credos about not ever changing my bracket once I finish it, as I was dangerously close to switching my pick and going with Vandy. I’ll never doubt the Racers again.

Big “Least”: Get it, I changed East to Least. That’s why I get paid the big bucks folks. As a whole, the “best conference in all the land” went 1-3, being obscenely close to going 0-4 as Nova almost lost to some dude named Robert Morris. Potential redemption comes tomorrow with Syracuse, Pitt, WVU, and Louisville making their tourney debuts.

Berndon Jinx: This isn’t quite up there with the Madden Cover Jinx, or the SI jinx, but it was mildly noteworthy that of the 5 teams I mentioned as my finalists for “who the hell should Brody cheer for” derby, the 3 that played all lost. For anyone who personally knows me knows I have perpetually bad luck in my personal life, but I didn’t think I had the power to transfer this to college teams and put the kibosh on them.

Random Fact: I saw the Palm commercial with Mos Def rapping in the background like 10 times, and each time I saw it I fell deeper and deeper in love with the chick in the red dress from said commercial. This has no relevance other than that I probably need to get laid. Maybe if I didn’t spend 12 hours watching basketball this would be more likely to happen. Cheers until tomorrow kids.

16 comments:

Teach said...

The Maryland-Mich St finish was spectacular. Thought it worth tacking onto this list of positives from the 1st weekend

March 21, 2010 at 9:41 PM
Russ said...

Additional comments from this weekend:

I was in Vegas for business these 4 days which was good/bad, as in I didn't see many of the games, but the ones I did see were in sportbooks at the Venetian/Caesar's, which was awesome. Of what I did see:

I was so glad Villanova lost yesterday because the refs were the sole reason they won that game against Robert Morris on Thursday. I literally wanted to punch Scottie Reynolds repeatedly after that game was over because he was getting as much respect by the refs as Hansbrough did.

Love seeing the Big East getting exposed for the fraud conference that it is, although I see Syracuse and West Virginia getting to the Final Four, which would redeem the conference in people's eyes and piss me off at the same time.

Love watching Cornell play. Would love nothing more than for them to beat that NBDL team in Lexington. Good vs. Evil.

Duke looks good for an Elite 8 appearance, as I don't see how Purdue scores enough to beat them with the way Duke is rebounding and defending. I'm rooting for St. Mary's as Baylor has what it takes to beat Duke.

Great tourney so far.

March 21, 2010 at 11:01 PM
Teach said...

Did anyone else notice that Norther Iowa's Lucas O'Rear looks like Dan? They've even got the same tattoos. Okay, maybe that's where the similarities stop, except I bet they both share equally in Catholic guilt.

March 22, 2010 at 10:47 PM
Teach said...

Russ: The Hansbrough comment's a low blow. No Heel bashing until after we're NIT champs, and, yes, if that happens, I'm buying the tshirt.

March 22, 2010 at 10:48 PM
Langston said...

Yeah, the tattoo's are almost identical. Speaking of O'Rear, if you met him on the street how long would it take for you to believe him that he played D-1 ball?

March 23, 2010 at 12:22 AM
Iceman, AD said...

How large and gloating will the 2010 UNC NIT Champs Banner be? Also, if they lose, will they put up an NIT 3rd place banner like in seasons past?

March 23, 2010 at 10:15 AM
Teach said...

all the nit stuff is contained to one banner...says nit...and has the years

March 23, 2010 at 5:59 PM
Teach said...

Langston: a while

March 23, 2010 at 6:00 PM
Russ said...

http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n111/ACCHoopsFan1/Rival%20Jabs/3rdplaceNIT.jpg

This photo says differently Brian.

March 23, 2010 at 6:32 PM
Iceman, AD said...

Thank you Russ, that always makes me chortle.

March 23, 2010 at 10:36 PM
Anonymous said...

The entire NCAA Tournament is one large conspiracy. I'm convinced that the refs cost Maryland a win over Michigan State because they are trying to eliminate all possible contenders that would prevent Duke from being champions. Everybody knows that next year will be the 10th anniversary since Duke's last championship, and they want to do everything they possibly can to avoid that from happening. They absolutely butchered the midwest and south regions (other than Duke, of course). And everybody knows that the only reason Syracuse and Kentucky are left is because they don't want to make it too obvious. College basketball is a joke, and it will be until somebody does something about Duke's shenanigans.

March 23, 2010 at 10:38 PM
Russ said...

LOL at the anonymous post. Is that you Billy?

March 23, 2010 at 10:57 PM
Iceman, AD said...

Obviously it's Billy. Also for more on the NIT see this article: http://www.theonion.com/articles/nit-wrapped-up-in-about-5-hours,17054/

March 23, 2010 at 11:06 PM
Anonymous said...

This isn't just crazy talk either, I have numbers to back it up. If you watch the last possession of the game closely, you'll notice that the clock doesn't start until .3 seconds after the ball is in-bounded. The Michigan State player (who will forever remain nameless) hit the 3 point shot with .3 seconds left. 3+3+3=9 (and for those of you that prefer multiplication, 3x3=9). It's been exactly 9 years since Duke won a championship. Need more proof? How about Maryland was a 4 seed and Michigan State a 5 seed. 4+5=9. And if Maryland would have beaten Duke in the National Championship game, it would have been Maryland's 9th victory over Duke since 2001 (the year Duke won its last championship). Does this sound like a coincidence? Or a conspiracy? The numbers don't lie. 3+3+3 will always equal 9.

March 23, 2010 at 11:12 PM
Iceman, AD said...

Simply Amazing. Also, 9/3=3 which is the number of times Billy has cried himself to sleep while spooning his Lonnie Baxter poster since Saturday.

March 25, 2010 at 10:20 AM
Teach said...

Russ: they consolidated the nit stuff sometime this decade...don't know how old that photo is

March 25, 2010 at 8:14 PM

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