And now on to Sunday's 2014 NFL Wild-Card games with Brendan Brody and Bryan Harvey:
Dallas Cowboys vs. Green Bay Packers @ 1:05 on Fox
|These two won't be playing catch on Sunday; they'll be playing football.|
Brendan Brody: I should preface everything here with the fact that I'm a Bears fan and therefore hate the Packers and loathe the Cowboys. With that said, I will try to maintain neutrality the rest of the way.
Bryan Harvey: Does just hearing Jay Cutler's name sadden you? Or, does he have to Cutler something first?
BB: So the hated Packers take on the equally loathsome Cowboys in the first game on Sunday. Aaron Rodgers is fake injured—
BH: Kind of like Jay Cutler in an NFC Championship game against his franchise's bitter rivals.
BB: As I was saying, Rodgers is fake injured, and it's going to be freezing in Green Bay. How could the Packers lose?
BH: They could sign Jay Cutler.
BB: Rodgers has put together an incredible MVP-caliber season, as he's thrown for 4.381 yards to go along with an insane 38-5 ratio of touchdown passes to interceptions.
BH: Think what he could've done with two functional calf muscles.
BB: You do realize he wasn't hurt all season, right? You do realize that his dealing with a torn calf muscle is a rather late development, don't you?
BH: I would prefer we limit our pessimism about quarterbacks to Jay Cutler, Tony Romo, and maybe Brett Favre.
BB: Aaron Rodgers has a torn calf muscle, and the Cowboys have a better defense than people thought they would have and still think they have. However, they are still susceptible to an alarming number big plays.
BH: Suck it, Cowboys!
BB: The thing is, the Packers don't exactly have the greatest of defenses either.
BH: Ha! Suck it, Cowboys!
BB: Giving up 346.4 yards per game places you squarely into the middle of the pack as far as defenses go. Julius Peppers--once a badass in a UNC basketball uniform--is past his prime, Clay Matthews is overrated, and no one else is really that great on the defensive side of the ball.
BH: Clay will hear of this!
BB: Sure, whatever. I hope he does. Furthermore, I think Wisconsin native Tony Romo will channel his inner Favre to out-Favre Rodgers here.
BH: I feel like there are many ways to out-Favre someone.
BH: Like, once upon a time, it could mean to out duel someone in the frigid temperatures of Lambeau. However, it could also mean throwing a key interception in OT of a Playoff game. It could also mean an act of betrayal. And, lastly, it could mean snapping and texting inappropriate images of one's privates. You think ol' Brett has a SnapChat account?
BB: I'm saying Romo will outgun Rodgers. I'm saying your Packers aren't as good as they were earlier in the season. I'm saying the Cowboys have that feel of the "Wild Card team that wins a couple of games and makes a run" type of feel to them.
BH: About Jay Cutler. . . .
BB: Look for the Cowboys to irritate every Redskin fan on earth and move on to the Championship game.
Indianapolis Colts vs.Denver Broncos @ 4:40 on CBS
|"Good luck, Peyton!" "If anyone needs luck, it's you, Andrew. I'm a Manning."|
BB: Andrew Luck vs. Peyton Manning, how glorious.
BH: Why is it glorious? Are they childhood friends or something?
BH: What? Is there history here? Like is one of them returning to play against his old team or something? Or, is it better than that? Is one of them a cyborg and the other an Amish farmer? What is it? Why is it glorious? Will someone please tell all of us?
BB: The Colts have undergone quite the transformation since they kicked Manning to the curb.
BH: What?!? He was homeless!?!
BB: I'm speaking figuratively.
BH: Got it.
BB: Now they've completely rebuilt things on the offensive side of the ball. Reggie Wayne is the only skill position player left that played with the Papa John's Pitchman.
BH: Sounds like a zinger.
BB: This might not matter, however, as the Colts could very well win the title of this year's "Good Bad Team." They went 1-5 against playoff teams during the regular season, with their only win coming against Baltimore in Week 5. So, can they slay the Manning giant in Denver?
BH: Just for clarification, was that last question what you call speaking figuratively again? I just don't want to condone violence in relation to a game where grown men wear helmets and pads and use their bodies as projectiles. Maybe you meant can they beat Manning? Wait, no, still condoning violence. Maybe defeat? Ugh, sounds like war. What about vanquish? No. How about best? Can they best Manning the quarterback in Denver?
BB: Denver has a pretty solid defense, which helped them stay solid even as Manning turned into a typical 38 year old and lost his superpowers late in the season. Aquib Talib and Chris Harris are both legitimate corners that will be able to restrain TY Hilton and Reggie Wayne, leaving the Colts to have to rely upon the great Boom Herron to get the job done. Combined with Denver having home-field advantage, this scenario just doesn't seem as though it's very beneficial for Indy. CJ Anderson has been really good after taking over the running back role from Montee Ball, and the Broncos just have too many weapons. I don't see any way the Colts win this game.
BH: That works. How can the Colts win against Manning in Denver?
Mike Langston and Bryan Harvey's conversation about Saturday's Divisional match-ups can be found here. Brendan Brody can be followed @berndon4. Bryan Harvey can be followed on Twitter