That
big to do in college football thing is happening today:
"I'm tellin' you Dabo, it looked like a corn dog on a skillet!" "Yep, I bet it did." |
Capital
One Orange Bowl @ 4 PM
This game should be a high-scoring affair. After
all, almost all of Oklahoma’s final results resemble basketball scores, and
Clemson has been quite talented offensively for a while now. What’s surprising
coming into the game, or maybe it’s not surprising, is how little respect the
Tigers seem to garner as a number one team. Not only are fans and experts
picking the Sooners but so are all the cyborg simulations that one day we might
opt to use for colonizing other planets and venturing in and out of wormholes.
Alas, until that day arrives, we will debate the
flash and skill of Deshaun Watson versus the Big 12 Petrie dish success of
Baker Mayfield, whose name sounds like he has a future on the professional golf
circuit if this football endeavor doesn’t pan out. Both quarterbacks have thrown
for at least 3,300 yards and thirty touchdowns this season. So why should all
that end now? Winter on the east coast has been warm. It was above freezing in
the North Pole yesterday. Expect fireworks in Miami. Heat and haze and a sign
of things to come.
Oh, and this just in, some of Clemson’s players
misbehaved and got themselves sent home from a business trip they mistook for
an early Spring Break. Blame it on the weather. Blame it on Dabo Swinney being
a sideline jerk. Clemson gonna Clemson. Start writing and reading those Bob
Stoops redemption stories; he and Baker are about to go Interstellar.
Goodyear
Cotton Bowl @ 8 PM
Doesn’t Goodyear Cotton Bowl sound like a racist
musical? Oh well, I digress. Isn’t this exciting? Isn’t this David versus
Goliath? Little ole Michigan State from the shoulda coulda woulda Big Ten
versus the almighty Crimson Tide from Alabama. Enough on that, some story lines
should be retired. Let me digress further.
In the SEC, over the past decade or so, it has
become popular to root and cheer for the conference over all other comers. I am
a Georgia fan, so this means that I have spent the last decade or so rooting
for Saban and Les Miles and even Gators who shall not be named to win BCS bowl
games and national titles. To all that camaraderie and bull shit, I now say no
more. No more will I root for a conference for the sake of not feeling so down
and out about my own team coming up short. It’s nonsense.
While Saban and others have stuffed the pockets of
the entire SEC, the on the field results have been somewhat depleted. What do
you have to show for Saban’s success, Volunteers? What trophies do you possess,
Ole Miss and Mississippi State? Tigers of Missouri, are you as feared as the
Tigers of LSU? How do you feel Gamecocks, Commodores, Razorbacks, and Wildcats?
How warm is your seat, Les Miles? Oh where, oh where have you gone, Mark Richt?
Go Spartans! Go Connor Cook! Saban winning hasn’t won
for anyone else, so his losing can’t be that bad. Yet, how does one out Saban
Saban? Look for his ‘Bama to bruise poor Sparty, and, when it happens, do not
pretend this excellence belongs to anyone other than Saban and his followers.
Bryan
Harvey tweets @LawnChairBoys.
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