Who I'm Rooting For | Super Bowl XLV | Packers v Steelers

For what seems like the umpteenth year in a row, the Raiders are leaving me (like many other fans) without a horse in the race and no idea where to place my fleeting fandom on Sunday. Since this has become somewhat of a tradition around here, I'll take a couple factors into account and let you know who I'm rooting for. If I do my job right, I will give you enough insight to do the same. We'll use the usual categories: players, cheerleaders, fans, and other nonessential attributes for these champions of the gridiron.

• Players: Let's not put this off any longer than we have too. The Steelers have one of, if not the most, easily hatable players in the league in Hines Ward. Ha, just kidding, I was talking about accused rapist Ben Roethlisberger. While it was just an accusation, insuring we will never be 100% confident of which side to trust, he is guilty of terrible decision-making and outright creepiness. Also of note, he has a gray penis. This match-up goes to the Packers in a landslide, despite the awesomeness of this guy's beard.
• Cheerleaders: Push, neither team has them, making this the first cheerleaderless Super Bowl. Couple that together with the notion that Fergie will be in full-HD and the fans hailing from the midwest, and it makes for a Super Bowl devoid of any eye candy.
• Fans: In less than 5 minutes of the AFC Championship ending, I saw the following update from an unnamed acquaintance on Facebook: "Stairway to SEVEN!" They also swaddled a room full of babies into a brainwashed existence of adult onset diabetes and annoying fandom. If that's not enough reason to root against the Steelers, you're either a Steelers fan or a closeted one. Packers take another category.
• Fan Videos: Speaking of "Stairway to SEVEN," it's not the most absurd Steeler related play on words from once great songs. There is also this, entitled "Knockin' On Seven's Door": 

The Steelers have adopted Pittsburgh resident Wiz Khalifa's "Black and Yellow" as their song (you can see the Steelers mumbling along to it here). But it has nothing to do with the six time champs, well, apart from their color scheme. So, it doesn't count. That brings us to the Packers most notable fan song. This one was tough to pick, considering there are so many awesomely bad videos by pasty Wisconsians. So, I just picked the most famous of the fan songs. Insert Lil' Wayne's "Green and Yellow," which would be clever if Snoop and Game didn't already make "Purp and Yellow" for the Lakers or Chet Haze (the lesser known son of Tom Hanks, whose name is Chet) didn't already make "White and Purple" for Northwestern. And despite being late to this overwrought round of remixes and my inability to ignore the fact he was rooting for the Saints last year, his song still manages to clinch my impermanent devotion for Sunday. Oh and here is the video:  

So, that does it, this Sunday I will be a momentary Packer fan. Honestly, I planned for this to be a closer match-up. But I can't control which franchise is more likable. Though, it would be unfair of me to omit the reality that I went through four months of brainwashing while living in Cleveland. What? I never promised previously unknown bias built deep into the cerebellum wouldn't come into account.

Anyways, I do regret this becoming a beatdown, as it kept me from getting into the fan accessories debate of cheesehead versus terrible towel. Since I couldn't delve into this well deserving debate, I suggest reading Clay Travis' stirring anti-Towel commentary. Also of note from the "On Rocky Top" author, if you needed another reason to root for the Packers, check out his post made up entirely of Steeler's hate mail. If you're not already, that post alone will make you hit the streets to push for more public school funding. Go Pack, Go!

2010 MLB Playoffs: Who we're rooting for

The 2010 season was an ugly one for both Berndon's Cubbies and my Dodgers, the former was led by a manager who seemed content with cashing a pay check while the latter appeared to take their rightful place as the forgotten children of divorce. That leads us here with no horses in the race and no idea who to pull for to win the big one. So we got out our copy of Baseball Prospectus, a couple pads of paper, three pouches of Big League Chew and got to work, dutifully working on a formula to find the most deserving team of our fugacious praise. This formula consists of six categories; Team history, city, team finances, notable players, their fans, and lastly (but certainly not least), our biased hatred for the teams involved.

New York Yankees
Langston: They call the greatest city in the World home, their fans are myopic yet as loyal as they are plenty, and the squad is chock full of talent. However, the operating expenses and last years World Series eliminate them immediately from my fleeting praise.

Berndon: I used to really hate the Yankees, but this hatred is seemingly dying out each passing year as the Cubs spend more and more money. How can I hate on a team for buying championships when my boys unsuccessfully do the same thing each winter. This Yankee team really isn't that bad in terms of likeability. That being said, despite the fact that I like guys like Jeter, Cano, and Nick Swisher, I still can't stand ARod or Posada. I would like to see Kerry Wood, former Cubs wunderkind, get a ring. There fans are still obnoxious and they still get overhyped all the time, so I'm still rooting for the Twins to take them out in the first round.

San Fransisco Giants
Langston: They'll always be the Gints to me..

Berndon: I really enjoyed the Buster Posey experience, as he's potentially a keeper on my first-ever championship-winning fantasy baseball squad. San Fran seems like a cool city, and they did produce the Grateful Dead. I also really like their announcers, Jon Miller and Mike Krukrow. Ex-Cub Mike Fontenot factors into my decision of liking them to advance, and I'll pull for them if they knock off the Braves, but for reasons I will mention later, I'm rooting for them to lose to Atl. 

Philadelphia Phillies
Langston: The balance between their great city, good food, likable players, rotten fans and two straight triumphs over my Dodgers in the NLCS make this a tough decision. But being the most recent World Series Champion from the NL eliminate them from eligibility.

Berndon: Philly gets a bad rap as a city, but I enjoyed my experience there last summer when I caught a Phillies-Cubs game. It reminded me a lot of Chicago, albeit a slightly more obnoxious version where you substitute cheese steaks for pizza. As for their players, I don't dislike anyone, but don't really have any strong feelings other than the fact that Ryan Howard can hit a baseball further than Uncle Rico of "Napolean Dynomite" fame can throw it, which is enjoyable for everyone. I hope they take down the Reds and then lose after that.

Tampa Bay Rays
Langston: Everyone, including the Rays, has been crushing the Tampa fans for not showing up the day they clinched their playoff spot. However this is a pretty ridiculous and shortsighted attack on the fanbase considering they never show up (23,024 average and 52.6% tickets sold for the season, good for 22nd in MLB attendance) and they play in the worst stadium (outside of Oakland) in the majors. Plus, after 81 games, can't the loyal 53% take a night off to prep for the postseason? Despite the unneeded chiding, they went to the series two years ago, so I'm ready for some new blood. Sidenote: They do deserve our scorn for DJ Kitty (aka meme that needs to die).

Berndon: Tampa loses points because I feel like their fans don't deserve a winning team. They can't even show up unless the Yankees or Red Sox are playing, and even then the crowd is mixed. I like their core group of players, although it's depressing to think that the squad will be broken up after this season. All in all though, it would be nice to see them get a crack at the Yankees in the ALCS, but I can't say I would mind if Texas took them down early.

Texas Rangers
Langston: This team has a whole lot of interesting subplots; from the drug histories of Ron Washington and Josh Hamilton to the change in ownership to the great Nolan Ryan to the down-and-up year of Vladimir Guerrero. They have a low payroll considering their exciting squad and lose points for terribly average attendance and lack of pitching. I want to root for them, I really do, but I can't root for a team that I can't answer the following question: Would anyone care if they won?

Berndon: Josh Hamilton is an inspiraton on a personal level, as anyone who read my Michael Vick story will realize. Other than that, I think the Vlad Guerrero comeback is a nice little story, and each game they win will be moving further in the postseason than they ever have. Seeing them battle the Twins in the ALCS wouldn't be the sexiest of matchups, but enjoyable nonetheless. I'd like to see them beat Tampa and lose to the Twins.

Cincinnati Reds
Langston:  There are three things that come to mind when I think of Cincinnati or the Reds; Firstly, Marge Schott, and her racist comments. Secondly, Ken Griffey Jr signing a massive contract, only to see him rarely display the skills we came to adore him for while collapsing into a career of injuries. And lastly, Pete Rose, the best hitter of all-time and an absolutely loathsome human being. Now, I understand I'm not giving Joey Votto and his teammates enough credit, but with those images in mind how can you blame for not rooting for them. Sidenote: They do fit most of the criteria for our formula, but Marge Schott dude. Marge Schott.

Berndon: I'm conditioned to hate the Reds, since they reside in the NL Central, but I really don't have it in me. I hate the Cardinals for obvious reasons, and even the Brewers get more venomous hatred than Cincy, more than likely because they haven't been relevant for a while now. I can't truly root against Dusty Baker, but then again, there will be some bitterness because I will feel like he should have done it in Chicago. I hope Philly beats them in round 1. Joey Votto should have given Marlon Byrd daps at the All-Star game, instead of having his immature little attitude about how he couldn't shake his hand because he hates the Cubs. I hate you too Joey.

Minnesota Twins
Langston: The Twins are the ultimate team to root for; a great underrated city, haven't won the big one in the past couple of years, likable players/style of play, loyal fans(100.7 % tickets sold this season), and no rivalry connection to my Dodgers. I'll be pulling for them to win the AL,  I would be pulling for them to win the series if not for the last team on our list.

Berndon: The Twins get 5,000,000 cool points for demolishing the White Sox. That goes far in my book. Minnesota is an awesome city, despite my hatred for all things Vikings. Michael Cuddyer is from the same zip code that I now reside in, and I've just always liked the way they play. They bring web gems galore, get just enough key hits, and Ron Gardenhire has them going hard until the last out. I hope they knock off the Yankees and make it to the World Series, where 3 of there home games will inevitably get snowed out.

Atlanta Braves
Langston: My father's side of the family is from Knoxville. This is where I get my love for the Vols, the blues, BBQ, and seersucker. During summer break I would spend my time at my Papaw Jackson's house. My days consisted of going to the lake, playing hoops at the rec center, church, and the Braves. While church and the lake happened occasionally, the Braves were unending. When we weren't watching them, me and PaPaw Jack would question Bobby's decision making on the deck over a Mello Yello and a Moon Pie. When we went to watch the Smokies, we would point out guys that would fit in well with the Braves. On our weekly fishing trips, we'd breakdown Bobby's most recent ejection. While eating breakfast we would debate who was better; Greg or Tom. Looking back, the Braves were as big a part of the summers as my family, I was engulfed. So, for my Papaw, I will continue my tradition of rooting for the Braves when the Dodgers are out of the race. It's a sentimental pick, but it's not like our formula is a law.

Berndon: I kind of disliked the Braves as a child, because pre-Nats, TBS and 90's success spawned a lot of Fredericksburg Atlanta Braves fans. Two key factors make me want to root for Atlanta(although I did just bet a co-worker 20 dollars tonight that they would lose in the 1st round). One is the fact that Derrek Lee was one of the classiest and best Chicago Cubs over the middle part of the decade. D. Lee is definitely one of my favorite Cubs players ever, as he consistently went about his business as one of the best first basemen in team history. I'd love to see him get another ring after suffering through Cubs ineptitude for a while. Secondly, Bobby Cox getting a ring in his final season would be a great story in a postseason that seems a little lacking in terms of sentiment. He's only won one ring, but could very well had 4 or 5. Jason Heyward could prove to be the next Griffey, Omar Infante continues to prove to everyone he was actually a good All-Star pick, and the likable core of vets like Derek Lowe, Tim Hudson, and Billy Wagner make the Braves my pick of who I'm rooting for.

In terms of actual predictions: I'm going with Philly vs. San Fran in the NL, with my preseason pick for the World Series being the Giants winning the pennant. Despite Philly's big 3, I feel like the Giants have both the starters and the bullpen to make it through. In the AL, I think it's going to be Tampa vs. the Yankees, with Tampa Bay running their way into the Fall Classic with Posada's arm practically falling off after Crawford, Upton etc. run wild. I think the Giants will knock off the Rays in 7, with their pitching again carrying the load. Atlanta-Minnesota would be nice to see as well. And if this works out like my NCAA tourney "Who to Root for," it'll be the Yankees and Reds battling it out.

Breakfast with Berndon: Cheaters Sometimes Prosper?

In this edition of B.B.E., Berndon tries to replace his first love with another, if only for a couple weeks. Hit the jump for the result.

AL Central Tiebreaker: Who I'm rooting for

For a second straight season, the AL Central will need 163 games to decide the winner of the division. All it took was a monumental collapse from the Tigers and a greatly timed winning streak by the Twins. Tomorrow they will play, in what could be the last game at the Hefty Bag, for the right to play and probably lose to the Yankees. A lot of us will watch this game, solely for the fact that it's being played on a Tuesday. But only a few of us will have any rooting interest. So how do we decide the more worthy team? How about a straightforward but biased checklist?

• Salaries: I chose the Dodgers when I was a little kid, years before I found myself enamored in the world of finance. So when I am deciding on whom to cheer and who to jeer, I check out the payroll. The Twins are the epitome of efficiency, ranking 24th with an average salary of $2,251,699 and a total of $65,299,267. On the other hand, the Tigers are among the biggest spenders, ranking 5th with an average salary of $4,110,184 and a total of $115,085,145. (Twins +1)
  
• Ballpark: I understand in certain areas of the country, domes have there purpose to avoid unseasonably warm or cold weather. But apart from that what are domes good for? They are unsightly, require turf, and leave the possibility of pumping in crowd noise. (Tigers +1)
  
• Better Food: The Twins have the Met Jumbo dog, the biggest frank sold in baseball. The Tigers have Little Caesars. Bigger isn't always better, but in this case, it is. (Twins +1)
  
• Player to Cheer: The Tigers have the likable Curtis Granderson and the gritty Brandon Inge, but I went to the same high school as Mike Cuddyer. (Twins +1)
  
• Better Fans: Since I can't really differentiate between the two fan bases, we will change this category to "more deserving fans." Taking into account that it's been a quarter-century since their last World Series triumph and the despair felt all across the city due to the sinking automobile industry, it's the Tigers by a hair. (Tigers +1)

Final count: Twins 3, Tigers 2. Just like the rest of the season, this went down to the wire. But like I said, I went to school with Mike Cuddyer. So let's go Twins.

NFL Playoffs: Who I'm rooting for..

Way before December or even November we all knew the Raiders would be in the same position we are, watching the playoffs from the comfort of their own homes. I think we all figured it out sometime between last years draft and August. It didn't take a genius to figure it out either, all it called for was a cursory glance at their roster to notice the onslaught of glaring holes they possessed. Ever since the shaming in San Diego, Oakland has been home to one of (if not) the most inept franchises in the NFL. So it comes as no surprise that for yet another year they failed to even pose a threat. However the season ended on a couple of good notes, that will surely give myself and the rest of the Raider nation far too much optimism for the 2009-2010 season. A two game win-streak that showed Jamarcus Russell may not be the next big flop that may have helped Al Davis find his next coach in Tom Cable. It was also nice to end the season with the Raiders knocking out Gruden's Bucs and helping Shanahan get canned.

The season isn't over for everyone, yet it has placed the Raider nation and many other fans in a common position. Mock drafting before the new year and deciding on another team to root for in the playoffs. Last year was probably the easiest year to pick a team to root for, that team, whoever was playing the 16-0 New England Patriots. This year is not so easy; there are under dogs across the board and perennial powers that cannot top the annoyance levels of the Pats or Cowboys. Without their being a clear cut team to root for or root against, I figured I would rank each team using my biased opinions on fan and player likability.

The first and only category we will tackle is player and fan likability, this is important because you will have to deal with these fans reminding you how great their favorite teams is for the next year. This is not such a bad thing when the fan is knowledgeable and/or loyal but when the fan started rooting for the team in November and/or has a Criss Angel aura about him, this can be almost as enraging as DC traffic. The player likability factor is important because not all players are as likable as Reggie White or Tony Gonzalez, and the last thing cocky overpaid and overhyped players need is even more reason to be cocky and overpaid. (Team colors and mascots may also be taken into account)

Who I am rooting for:

12. New York Giants; I know I am not alone in this but I don't want any team to win back-t0-back championships. Share the wealth and stop being so greedy. Only my team should have a dynasty.

11 . Minnesota Vikings: 11,000 tickets left, are you kidding me? Terrible.

10. San Diego Chargers: Blame Rivers

9. Miami Dolphins; Every girl in my middle school wore Dolphins Starter jackets, and I knew none of them could name one player on the team other than Dan Marino. Remembering how atrocious those jackets were and the fact that some people coupled them with Zubaz makes me want to watch the Dolphins lose.

8. Arizona Cardinals: I have never met a Cardinals fan, and I have spent more then half my life on the West Coast. So yeah, go Cards. Funny story though, my uncle bought me a Jake Plummer jersey after his rookie year for Christmas. That gift was never worn.

7. Carolina Panthers: While living in Myrtle Beach, I met a fair amount of Panther fans. They were knowledgeable and a joy to watch a game with. However I see pictures like this and it changes my mind about their fandom.

6. Baltimore Ravens: There is nothing that really makes me want to root for or against this team. I enjoy watching Ed Reed, but Bart Scott has a grating personality. They get stuck in the middle for this very fact.

5.Philadelphia Eagles; Knowledgable and loyal fans. With the Phillies just winning the World Series, the Philly area sports fans would be on the verge of becoming the next Boston/dynasty city. I don't know if they would be as annoying, but its not worth the risk.

4. Pittsburgh Steelers; Stiller fans are all across the country. You can probably find a Steelers bar in almost every city in the country. They are as loyal as they come. Yet a lot of them brain wash their friends into becoming Steeler fans. This leads to uneducated and annoying fans, bragging about championships won before they were born.

3. Atlanta Falcons; Just for what the franchise and its fan have had to deal with the past couple of seasons, they deserve a good playoff run. But I still can't find myself rooting for them. I don't know why, but I'll just blame it on Zubaz again.

2. Indianapolis Colts: They get this ranking solely on the enjoyment I receive from watching Peyton work the offense and the commercials he appears in. Even though the King of UT is leading his Colts to another playoff run, I cannot put all of my love behind them as they just won two years ago.

1. Tennessee Titans: The state of Tennessee is easily one of my favorites in the country. It has a little bit of everything; culture, history, music, and even better- their people. The fans are loyal, knowledgeable, and courteous. Watching a game at LP field is a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon and the biggest factor to that enjoyment; is the fans around you.

This ranking is obviously biased, so feel free to leave yours in the comment section. It really is nice to have, when the team your pulling for loses you can just mark them off and root for the next team. That way you can say you wanted them to win all along.