AFC South Division Preview 2009

In the past, we broke down every team in detail before the start of the season, but this year we decided to view each division as a dysfunctional American family and base our predictions off their family trees.

Family Portrait:

Place of Residence:

While it sounds cliche, "home is where the heart is." This family's most traditional roots are the nation's interstate system. The family member to start this tradition was Bob Irsay, who moved the family's home from an east coast car garage to one in the midwest, and it was continued by Bud Adams when he left Houston for Tennessee, by motorcycle. The grandkids, not having any real roots or an identity, were free to settle anywhere. Wayne Weaver settled in Jacksonville and decided to make a living raising Jaguars in a climate better suited for Gators and Seminoles. This business endeavor has relied on sales gimmicks and pinball machines. Bob Mcnair, longing to reverse the family's tendencies toward mobility, settled in Houston, in an attempt to make good on the promises Bud Adams left broken. His efforts, so far, have resulted only in the death of David Carr.

The family's lack of a hometown has left this family personality driven, rather than relying on historical landmarks and local customs to define them, which could explain the polar extremes of Peyton Manning's drive as a salesman and Vince Young's feelings of isolation, and this lack of deep roots could also be why journeymen and hobos find themselves waking up on the family's front porch like stray dogs.

Vacation Spot:

The family's constant moving never really gave the family the feelings of being trapped at home and needing to get away. Even in retirement, the patriarchs of the family, like Tony Dungy, feel the need to help out underprivileged youth find a better home. Many believe Dungy feels this way because he comes from a family that never really had a traditional home. One AFC South family member tried to go on vacation, but it ended tragically.

Favorite Pastime:

Because of the family's constant movements, no one in the family has possessed the sound foundations to do anything of real accomplishment. When the family does get together, which is rare because the geographical separation has left them with few real connections, they sit around and listen to Peyton yarn war stories. He is, after all, the only member of the family to go into the trenches and come out alive.

Teach's Prediction:

I'll be honest, I don't really know what to make of this division. Tennessee won it last year and went to the playoffs with home field advantage, but no one, outside of Tennessee, ever really believed they were the team to beat. Does the addition of Alge Crumpler on offense make up for the loss of Albert Haynesworth on defense? This team won with defense, and Crumpler's probably peaked. I think I just talked myself out of taking the Titans, which leaves the Colts as the only logical team for me to pick. Call it a belief in Peyton, and me trying to do my part for always taking the wrong side in all those New England-Indianapolis matchups--the Colts really were the better people.

Jacksonville is as unpredictable as hurricane season, but I think their window as the perennial AFC dark horse closed with last year. The receiving core has questions, and Garrard throws almost as many TD's as Int's. Houston is worth keeping an eye on. The schedule looks favorable, with New England as the only game one looks at without any hesitation and says Houston probably can't win that one.

Langston's Prediction:
The question every year in the division is who will challenge the Colts. The Texans have a good young defense and two of the best offensive weapons in the league. However, Matt Schaub's health is always a worry, and with Rex Grossman and Dan Orlovsky as the backups that worry becomes that much more prominent. The Jaguars have a good core defense along with the offensive threats of MJD and Torry Holt, but after those two, there isn't much else, which will impede their ability to contend.

The Titans have the defense, a healthier Kerry Collins, a slimmer and faster Lendale, and new receiving threats. Still, they replaced the defensive player of the year with Jovan Haye. Who?

The Colts also have their issues. With a regime change, Tony Ugoh's bustiness, and the ever-injured Bob Sanders. Yet, they are the most balanced team in the division. They drafted running back Donald Brown, who should help keep Addai healthy. The regime change should go along smoothly, afterall Peyton Manning has been the offensive coordinator for years now. The only question remaining for the Colts is how will the defense hold up. If they do, then the Colts should be on their way to another division crown.