If Aaron Rodgers is MJ, then who the heck is Philip Rivers?

"If you're Michael, then I'm Kobe." "Okay?"

Earlier this week I posted at Baller Ball about theabsurd trend of comparing Aaron Rodgers to NBA players. As a huge Green Bay fan, I get it: Aaron Rodgers plays quarterback in a way that stylistically separates him from his peers. While Tom Brady might have more Super Bowl wins, Tom Brady cannot move the way Aaron Rodgers moves. While Peyton Manning maybe Steve Jobs’ most precise invention, Aaron Rodgers is a living organism. I get it. And the more I get it, the more I understand the need to go in search of accurate Rodgers comparisons.

A conversation about the 2015-16 NFC East

The topic for today's panel is the NFC East. The panel in all its prestige includes Jamaal Anthony, John Nolan, Henry Thode, and myself. Conversations that took place earlier in the week include the AFC East and AFC West. 

Dallas Cowboys

The Physics of Jordy Nelson

Physical contact had nothing to do with it. The injury happened in space, which, in a way, makes the season-ending injury to Jordy Nelson appear as it were, inevitable.

2014 NFC Championship Game

Some quick points (click here for the AFC Championship game):

When Green Bay has the ball:

Eddie Lacy meet Cham Kancellor. He cancels stuff.

The Packers can't win without Eddie Lacy having a big game today. Rodgers' arm is magical, but his torn calf muscle isn't. Lacy must be the legs on offense. Every positive yard he gains potentially buys Rodgers time in the pocket.

2014 NFL Playoffs: Sunday's Wild-Card Round

And now on to Sunday's 2014 NFL Wild-Card games:

Cincinnati Bengals v Indianapolis Colts @ 1:05 on CBS

When will Andy Dalton do the smart thing and change his name to something cool like Boomer?

Michael Langston: When these two teams take the field Sunday afternoon, guess what stat broadcasters will mention time and time again during the playoffs.

2014 NFL Playoffs: Saturday's Wild-Card Round

The following is a conversation previewing the 2014 Wild-Card match-ups (a preview of Sunday's games can be found here): 

Arizona Cardinals v Carolina Panthers @ 4:35 on ESPN

Cam is either revealing the 'S' on his chest or doing the chicken dance.

Mike Langston: Five weeks ago the Panthers were 3-8-1. Now, they are hosting a playoff game. Are they hot? Or, are they the benefactors of a perfectly timed resurrection or a perfectly weak finish to the schedule?

Bryan Harvey: Hm, sounds a bit like divine intervention. That eighth loss, which was a 18 point humiliation against the Vikings, was the team's sixth loss in a row. Then, they beat the Saints, only to have Cam Newton's back fractured two days later. So not only were the Panthers 3-8-1 about five weeks ago, but the day after improving to a still dead 4-8-1, their franchise quarterback also seemed in need of a miracle.

I'm not trying to make light of a car accident, but this is what the script would look like if M. Night Shyamalan made a film about football. Maybe he could call it Indestructible and it could be about an invincible Superman.

Moreover, Carson Palmer could play a quarterback named Mr. Fragile. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if we're to believe the team's been resurrected, then we have to believe in M. Night Shyamalan's genius too.

Super Bowl Week: Peyton Manning on His Developing Humanity

P. Manning the day before John Elway revamped him.

In an interview this week, Peyton Manning reflected on where he once was in his career and where he is now, which despite everything he's been through is strangely the same place he was before--the very pinnacle of his sport, in the limelight, a mutual product of hard work and birthright. His answer, however, noted a change in himself that is inverse to everyone else who by smartphone or Google glass has become constantly wired: "Maybe I was a robot early on. Now, maybe I am a little more human." This would be news, but back in 2011, right here on this blog, we already participated in this discourse about Manning's artificial intelligence. In order to time travel back to that initial moment in our archive, click here.

Talking about Richard Sherman by not Talking about Richard Sherman: Part One, Living in the Moment

This post is the second of a multi-part series (click here for the prologue) on Richard Sherman and the discussion surrounding his actions after the NFC Championship Game between the Seattle Seahawks and the San Francisco 49ers:

After Richard Sherman saved the day for the Seattle Seahawks by causing an interception in the end zone of the NFC Championship Game, he ran over to a dejected Michael Crabtree, slapped his conquered peer on the hindquarters, said something whose tone will forever remain between the two rivals, extended his hand for a dishonorable handshake, was shoved in the helmet by the defeated wide receiver, and then mimed a chokehold to his rival’s young quarterback Colin Kaepernick, whose hopes and dreams Sherman had not only shattered but was now openly mocking in front of millions. 

All of these things he did before exploding in front of Erin Andrews in a live television interview. All of these things he did before restating verbally and in writing (even hours later in a defense of his actions) his beliefs that Crabtree is both “sorry” and “mediocre” and that Kaepernick is indeed a foolish quarterback at best. 

Talking about Richard Sherman by not Talking about Richard Sherman: A Prologue of Diverse Talent

This post is the first of a multi-part series on Richard Sherman and the discussion surrounding his actions after the NFC Championship Game between the Seattle Seahawks and the San Francisco 49ers:

Without knowing him, the only safe generalizations to be made about Richard Sherman, cornerback for the Seattle Seahawks, are that he is both talented and complex. He is not only a football player but an elite football player. However, his high school resume also boasts that Sherman's singular abilities on the football field are rivaled only by his accomplishments in the classroom. He was, after all, Salutatorian of his graduating class at Dominguez High School.

Ahab and Starbuck: The Dueling Identities of the Baltimore Ravens

A little known fact about Captain Ahab
is that his last name was Lewis.

Some have found this flouting of emotion obnoxious, while others have found it to be inspirational. SNL found it to be hilarious as they had Kenan Thompson’s caricature of Lewis proclaim that upon winning the Super Bowl he will pass through the stadium’s roof and into heaven. People can take Lewis’ devotion in many ways, but as Americans, we should all be wary of the role Lewis assumes when he proclaims that his team has a higher purpose, when he denotes spiritual significance onto a game of inches and yards that are measured not in acts of faith but in the palpability of chain links.

Passing Perfection: San Francisco Defeats Green Bay

The San Francisco 49ers are better than the Green Bay Packers, but I do not know if they are better by a 62 yard record-tying field goal or if they are eight points better or a whopping two touchdowns and and two two-point conversions better.

I do not know this because the replacement refs are terrible, failing to call false starts, failing to call pass interference, failing to call blocks in the the back (both on Green Bay and on San Francisco), failing to call any penalty on time or with any consistency.

Now, I am not saying the refs won or lost the game for either team, but what I am saying is that the relationship between the NFL front office and its locked out referees has become as toxic and dangerous as the relationship between Gustavo Fring and Walter White and the rest of us are having to deal with an inferior product--yes, football is America's acceptable version of meth--until they work out their labor disagreement or Roger Goodell goes all Pollos Hermanos and slits someone's throat like a chicken to end the work stoppage and usher in a new era of "normalcy."

Roger Gooddell threatening the referees.

So in other (more sane) words, Goodell needs the experienced refs because otherwise his product suffers: the games lack rhythm and drag on forever, players are put in harm's way, coaches are left turning blue in the face, and fans are left clueless in a world where logic is a yellow flag floating existentially through the air minutes after the penalty that launched it into the air no longer has any relevance because it happened several plays prior, on another team's possession, perhaps even in another game, in another time zone, maybe not even this decade or on this continent.

NFL Playoffs: Championship Sunday Preview

The Championship Game previews below were put together by Russ Morris and Bryan Harvey (Teach):

Number of the Day: The Packers and Lions' 971

It would have been easy to give the number of the day to Drew Brees, considering what he did to the Carolina Panthers yesterday, but he already had Dan Marino's passing yards record going into the game; and at some point someone here at LCB must write something more substantial about him than just a number of the day post. That said, the stat we're addressing today is the 971 combined net passing yards by the Green Bay Packers and Detroit Lions yesterday.

Gonzo Receiving: The Fear and Loathing of Tony Gonzalez

We were somewhere around Fredericksburg, not on the edge of the desert but of suburbia. Our cars had been loaded down with Miller Lite and Yuengling six-packs, football magazines, and notebooks. We sat around the kitchen table in quiet. Then one of us would speak. . . there would be a roar. . . And then it would get quiet again, and that ebb and flow of noise that was fantasy football at the beginning of the 2000s for a group of callow college kids has now become a microcosm of one fantasy League’s journey to the abyss of a decade come and gone: a volcano erupted with message board taunts, hateful voice mails, and back room deals now lies dormant, and drafts are carried out electronically and with less profanity.

Surprise Game of the Week

Reading previews for this Sunday's San Francisco 49ers-Detroit Lions game, you will be hard pressed to find an article that doesn't have some variation of this line in the opening sentences, "Prior to week 1, who would have thought that this game would be a scintillating matchup between two potential playoff teams that have combined for only one loss in the first five weeks?"

I did.  Sort of.

Looking back at my 10 NFL predictions prior to the season here, two of my predictions were related to the Lions and the 49ers.

Prediction 2:  Lions make the playoffs
Prediction 10: 49ers will finish at least 7-9

So based on my forward thinking, I believed this game had some importance prior to the season starting.  Maybe ESPN will hire me so I can become the 124th writer/blogger for the NFL?

Ok, I didn't think the Lions would be 5-0 and the 49ers would be 4-1 and this would be the game of the week (sorry Dallas/New England).  If you don't have Directv this week, I'm sorry you have to watch the Redskins/Eagles slopfest.  This game will be entertaining and for a 49ers fan like myself, won't be the end of the world if we lose as we are playing with house money.  Couple of keys going into the game:

49ers: Will they be able to run and pass block well enough against a formidable front line? The offensive line struggled to begin the season but has turned it around the past couple of weeks.  A big test against Suh and company.

Lions:  49ers will be the toughest defense they have played yet, especially the front 7.  They get off blocks, tackle, hit with authority and can rush the passer.  If the Lions can't run the ball, which nobody has consistently done against the Niners this season, Matthew Stafford might have to throw 45-50 times again this week.  That plays in the hands of the Niners defense as they have forced the most turnovers in the NFC and have the #1 red zone defense.

Predictions:  Anthony Davis with at least 2 false start penalties.
Alex Smith throws two interceptions.
Ted Ginn scores a touchdown on a return
Calvin Johnson has one big play for a touchdown but otherwise kept in check
Lions win in OT 20-17.

Aaron Rodgers is the Great Pumpkin

408 yards. Six touchdowns.  Four by air. Two by land. One interception. Twenty-nine for thirty-eight. And an offense that put up forty-nine points, in a route of Denver. But none of that told the story.

Dissecting a Would Be Cyborg: My Thoughts on Peyton Manning

Same face. Different quarterback. It's strange what memories a single uniform can conjure.

I don't have strong ties to the University of Tennessee.

My memaw who grew up in Belbuckle claimed I had a great uncle who played there, his nickname having to do with the alligator wiggle of his hips going through the line. Personally, I never met the man, and if there's a grainy team photo out there with him in it, I wouldn't be able to pinpoint his pale cheekbones anymore than I might be able to pick out President Rutherford B. Hayes in a line up of nineteenth century Presidents who used the White House for a Gilded Age beard off and nothing more. But I did recognize Tyler Bray's face on Saturday, dazed in the sun, and twisted in defeat, as if the Florida Gators had poured him a shot of bad whiskey. I recognized that face, slumped jaw and saddened eyes; I'd seen it at least four times before, the viewing of it as familiar to me as my memaw's stories about uncles I never knew.

LCB Exclusive: Charles Woodson's Uppercut Training Video

During the offseason and the coinciding lockout, NFL players tried a variety of activities to stay in shape, to maintain focus, to simply pass the time, and Charles Woodson was no different. No, he didn't go on Dancing with the Stars, return to his college alma mater, or take on a job as a day laborer. No, Charles Woodson spent every day quickening his reflexes with the likes of Sub-Zero, Scorpion, and Liu Kang, and with our immense investigational resources, we accessed the following bit of exclusive training footage:

Deion Sanders: Tearing Down and Raising Up

Dancing. Bandanna flapping. Highstepping electricity. The first time I discovered football was about more than crossing distances in consistent increments was when William Lattimore blew by me on a burnt grass field behind Gaines Elementary School, taunting me with his tongue wagging and the ball extended to me in his right hand like a baited hook. His celebration was quicker than my sprint; his laughter stronger than my arms; his your mama jokes a more decisive reflex than any futile synapses firing between my tired brain and dying limbs. William Lattimore was just better at football, simultaneously tearing down and raising up stereotypes.

Point/Counterpoint: Rick Reilly's "Pay for Play"

This is our column where we wrangle every nonsensical statement a writer proclaims in their commentary. Next up is Rick Reilly of ESPN, taken from the article "Pay for Play."


For the 116th straight season, it looks as if American golf is going to get through another year without a labor stoppage. Arnold Palmers for everybody.


Not true in the NFL and the NBA -- both are in lockouts now -- but how we don't have one in golf I'll ever know. If anybody should strike, it's golfers. They have the worst deal since the Winklevoss twins met Mark Zuckerberg.