Place of Residence:As much as Jerry Jones and Dan Snyder wanna claim that the height a one's mountain, the size a one's shack, the greenness a one's valley, the depth a one's crick, or the hiddenness a one's holler matter, they don't. Blood-stained earth is blood-stained earth, and no city slicker or law man is ever goin' to convince this family or that family that a big screen TV or a slick coat of paint makes up fer years a playin' cowboys and Indians with real guns and real knives. Would a new house in DC help one fergit the sound of a snapped bone? Does chargin' the cousins exorbitant amounts a money tuh see a donkey show in Texas help one fergit the jarring of one's cerebellum? Well, maybe that one's true, but it's also true that Asa Harman McCoy was murdered in a cave, comin' home from a war, and that's why Plaxico Burress can't go nowhere without packin' heat and Donovan can't go as fer as his property ends without havin' to call up his crazy brother Michael, who rumor has it cuts men up like they was dogs with broken liquor bottles.
Vacation Spot:
Ain't such a thing. Has you ever been to Philly?
Favorite Pastime:
Club murderin' and ax killin' each other. The fun comes in pickin' out a weapon, and the relaxin' comes in not havin' to hide the body but jus' leavin' it as a warnin' to tyrants, sayin' somethin' along the lines of don't tread on us, bastard sons of a dog-faced mother.
Teach's Prediction:
I thought this was our worst comparison yet because we're comparing the division that has the most Super Bowl wins in history to a bunch of hillbillies, who fight to the death over things like the number of notches on a pig's ear. Then I thought about how we all reference the Hatfield's and McCoy's, but none of us know the reasoning behind the feud, which is similar to how we're all subjected to hearing how this division is the most talented in football, year after year, without any real reasoning behind such claims. How can a division that is always said to be the best one currently in football possess only one Super Bowl winner in 13 years, only two Super Bowl appearances in that same time span, and have its marquee team not win a playoff game since this year's college class of freshmen started kindergarten?
I also don't know what reasoning anyone could come up with to pick a winner in this division right now, before the season starts. One of these teams is always much better than people predict, and at least one of them is always much worse.
The Redskins offense continues to sputter in the preseason, but the defense has the potential to be scary good. I think T.O.'s absence from the Cowboys will help their offense, but they struggled on defense all last year and lost some of their best defensive players this offseason. The two safest teams to bet on in this division are Philly and New York. Philly has the horribly underappreciated and constantly slept on Donovan McNabb, but there's always the question of his and Brian Westbrook's health. I think it's inevitable one of them misses serious time, and I don't think Michael Vick will be ready to carry their weight; so I'm picking the Giants to finish first. I like their defensive line. I like Brandon Jacobs, and I think Eli stands a chance of proving he can play quarterback without Plaxico.
Langston's Prediction:
The Cowboys have the highest expectations. They cut loose of all their extra baggage and built a new stadium, where you get to pay an enormous amount of money to eat pizza, watch the game on tv, and not see the field. They also have one of the best running back combos in football, one of the most dynamic pass rushers in the league, and maybe the best tight end in football, but after that, there isn't much else. This team doesn't have the receiving threats or the secondary to win this division, and Wade Phillips is still their coach.
The Redskins have the best defensive player in the game, Clinton Portis, Santana Moss, Chris Cooley and defensive rookie of the year candidate Brian Orakpo; however, this team needs Jason Campbell to elevate his game. If he doesn't, then he and Jim Zorn will both be looking for jobs in the spring.
The Eagles may have the most talented offensive team in football, with Westbrook and LeSean McCoy in the backfield, Desean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin running routes, and Jason Peters coming in to protect the QB. Their defense is solid, but they would be better if they hadn't let Dawkins leave. All the pundits are picking them to win the division and possibly the Super Bowl, but I say beware because the offseason champs always let you down. The defense has its holes, and if the offense has an off day, then this team has the potential to lose big. They also lost their best coach Jim Johnson, a loss that a lot of people are overlooking.
The Giants have the best defensive line in football, a great running back combo, and a good offensive line. The rookie receivers Hakeem Nicks, Ramses Barden, and Travis Beckum will have to produce right out the gate, and they need Mario Manningham to step up his game. If Eli and his young core of receivers can find a groove, then they can play with any team in the league. This team has the right balance on offense and defense to win the division, and I expect them to do just that.
5 comments:
Ice: I apologize for erasing your comment. I deleted the post from the first time we posted it, while I went in and fixed the font sizes. Anyway, have you ever had a pickled pig's foot? I had one in NC once, and it wasn't that bad.
August 27, 2009 at 3:16 PMI have to agree with Langston, the loss of T.O. hurts the Cowboys and it doesn't make them better. I'm not sold on Roy Williams as their top receiver. I will say if they ever get smart and start throwing the ball to Sam Hurd (yeah NIU)they could get dangerous. But I don't know if they'd be so bold as to feature an unheralded player.
August 27, 2009 at 9:52 PMI think this could end up being a division decided by rookies, whatever teams' rookies produce could be a deciding factor here. The Skins, Eagles and G-Men all are relying on some newbies to add another dimension to their team. The thing is I think their are 3 great ones in this division. Orakpo could be the next Freeny, Shady McCoy could make the Eagles offense too tough to cover (not really feeling Maclin I think he could be a bust), and Hakeem Nicks should make people forget about Plax.
Steve: I'm looking at T.O. leaving the Cowboys doing for Romo what Steve Nash leaving the Mavs did for Nowitzki. I know it's a different sport, but I think Romo now will feel less stressed to keep certain players happy at the expense of the team's overall success. Also, the Cowboys weren't really in trouble until Romo got hurt, which is what caused the wheels to fall off.
August 27, 2009 at 10:42 PMIt really is an unpredictable division.
I am by no means a T.O. apologist, but I do think his presence in the locker room is greatly exaggerated. The same stuff was said about Randy Moss and the Pats won 18 games when he got there. I just feel there is now a HUGE hole at wideout for the Cowboys. Their best receiver is 4th on the depth chart and no one else can fill T.O.'s shoes.
August 28, 2009 at 12:22 AMSteve: T.O. and Moss have very different track records. Moss was accused of not trying on the field all the time, but he never threw his teammates under the bus or to the wolves. T.O. has played for 3 teams now and left all 3 with bad blood between him and his former teammates and coaches.
August 31, 2009 at 6:09 PMT.O.'s absence will force Romo to become a better quarterback.
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