Ricky Rubio and the Missing Chums

Ricky Rubio will not be a Timberwolf this season, and it looks more and more like he may never be a Timberwolf. Rubio opted this week to sign with FC Barcelona and remain in Spain, so let's go ahead and pick this saga up from where we last left it:

Frank (Al Jefferson) filled his knapsack with two turkey sandwiches that Aunt Gertrude (David Stern) made and sat on the table for him and Chet (Kevin Love). He also placed two flashlights, some extra batteries, matches, and a flare gun in the sack. He opted to carry his compass and pocket knife in his pockets. Then he went out to the garage and checked the fuel gauge on his sleek, black-and-silver motorcycle that he fashioned out of a Pinewood Derby kit. The guage said the tank was full, so he and Chet would leave as soon as it got dark.

He and Chet took the old Shore Road, swerving around the turns at very high speeds. Chet's grip grew tighter on Frank's shoulders, and he called out, "can't we go slower?" Frank knew Chet was right; they shouldn't drive so fast, but he had to find Joe (Ricky Rubio) before the homeless viking (Brett Favre) did something terrible to him.

When they go to the edge of the woods, they looked for the viking's trail and any signs that someone had dragged something heavy through the underbrush. Frank found a patch of crushed moss and flattened clovers. He whispered to Chet, "I think he must have taken Joe this way." Little did Frank know, he was tracking a Canadian moose. As the sun rose, the two boys came to the conclusion that they weren't going to find Joe. Covered in dirt and sweat, they went back to the sleek motorcycle and drove back along the old Shore Road, past the shanties and boat houses.

As they drove around the edge of a cliff, Chet pointed to the horizon, "Maybe it's the sun in my eyes, but that looks like the old Spanish galleon sailing away."

Frank couldn't believe it. The ship he found the viking's fingerprints on was now sailing across the water, but even more strange was the fact that on the boat someone was waving at them. Frank quickly pulled a U-turn and drove to the Hardy's boathouse. "Chet, we're going to take The Sleuth out on the high seas. We've got to catch that galleon."

The two climbed into the yellow speedboat, tossing their pack in the back seat. Then Frank made for the galleon, forcing the boat to go as fast as possible over the waves that passed under the stern like liquid rope.

"Hello, boys, Joe's gone...gone...gone. My super sleuth reputation is on the line, and it's cause I can't bring my own son home. He's gone...gone...gone." Frank had never seen his super sleuth father Fenton Hardy (Kurt Rambis) so downtrodden before, and if he'd been been closer to his dad, then he would have smelled the liquor on his father's breath, as well as the police chief (David Kahn) passed out in the sun.

With no fresh leads, Frank took the boat back to shore, wondering if he would ever see his brother again, while Chet stayed on the galleon with Fenton Hardy, helping him to sing a rousing rendition of "Sloop John B," all to the rhythm of the police chief's drunken snores.