Season Outlook: Dwayne Johnson, The Rock, purveyor of terrible movies. Playing a mean Defensive Tackle in the early 1990's for the U, Dwayne Johnson epitomizes the core of what it means to be tough, nasty, and physical. A knee injury threw his football career to the sideline and propelled Johnson on a path to WWE and Hollywood greatness (full disclosure: this is superfluous hyperbole). His films include such marvels as The Mummy Returns, Walking Tall, and upcoming Tooth Fairy. Cinematic treasures to be sure. "But wait," you say, "Iceman, this is supposed to be about the U of Miami basketball team." And I respond, "It is, oh it very much is."
See the The Rock's movie career is the very essence of the upcoming Miami basketball season. His characters come in exactly two flavors: Tough-gnarly-dude and kid-friendly-wimp. The upcoming ACC season for Miami rests on which character they decide to become. In seasons past, Miami has been at times physically imposing, smacking around other ACC ne'er-do-wells in the paint and pushing the gas pedal down full throttle, letting their less talented roster run, jump, and swat away the competition. But, and this is a big but, when another team decides to be physical back, to push the throttle down and throw the same elbows in the paint, this team of Scorpion Kings whithers and drops out of the Race to Witch Mountain (Aka the NCAA tournament). In short, if the U of Miami wants to make a run on the ACC, their going to need every ounce of bravado and toughness they can muster, because other, longer tenured ACC powers don't easily fall to an eyebrow-raise and a flash of white teeth.
Key Players: F Dwayne Collins (Sr.) (ironic, I know) and G James Dews (Sr.)
Top Newcomer: F Durand Scott (Fr.)
Record at Time of Posting: 14-1
Teach's Prediction: 11th in the regular season
Langston's Prediction: 9th in the regular season
Iceman AD's Prediction: 10th in the regular season
30 comments:
If "Welcome to Miami" by Will Smith doesn't take you back to your 6th grade dance, nothing will.
January 5, 2010 at 8:33 AMI love will smith!
January 5, 2010 at 1:36 PMNo Tooth Fairy jokes?
January 6, 2010 at 8:57 PMI think that might have been one toke over the line.
January 6, 2010 at 9:17 PMdid you guys watch "The U" the other night on 30 for 30? Never knew 2 Live Crew was so tight w/ the U.
January 7, 2010 at 3:42 PMThe relationship of Luke and The U is pretty interesting. It made me wonder who could replicate that relationship now. Maybe Lil Wayne and Tulane? Or The Game and Occidental?
January 7, 2010 at 4:33 PMI wanted to see it, but I think that may have been the night I battled with my washing machine. How was it?
January 7, 2010 at 5:26 PMI saw it, it was awesome. Michael Irvin still pisses me off. Personally I think it should be Kanye West and West Point. Match made in heaven.
January 7, 2010 at 7:18 PMI figured this was an opportune time to remind everyone that Michael Irvin once stabbed a teammate in the neck with scissors, just because he wanted to be next to get a haircut.
January 7, 2010 at 9:51 PMhttp://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/09/ksk-book-klub-boys-will-be-boys-featuring-more-of-charles-haley%E2%80%99s-penis.html
Langston: that was a joke amongst teammates in the locker room. the next game, irvin and teammates played paper rock scissors before the game, so everyone would understand the hilarity of the situation
January 7, 2010 at 10:14 PMJust you guys wait. If Stephon Marbury gets another NBA contract, he's driving a tank into the locker room before his first game. Count it.
January 8, 2010 at 2:12 AMIce: Would that be a la Dukakis in '88 or Pierce Brosnin in '98?
January 8, 2010 at 3:44 PMactually Goldeneye was '96 but you know what i mean
January 8, 2010 at 3:45 PMi like the game and occidental
January 8, 2010 at 4:58 PMyoung buck & vandy
i prefer Juvenile & Tulane
how bout nelly & the univ. of washington?
Rice needs somebody too.
Paul Wall and Rice would go together well.
January 8, 2010 at 6:50 PMNelly and the University of Washington work together, as long as the St. Lunatics are invited.
What about Case Western, Kid Cudi or Bone Thugs?
As long as R. Kelly gets Arizona State, home of massive orgies/STDs.
January 8, 2010 at 9:07 PMTeach: Marbury definitely rolls Goldeneye style.
How bout Shyne for either UNLV, Cincy, or Baylor...I think I just crossed some line of political correctness
January 8, 2010 at 9:55 PMAlso, I'm thinking Lupe and the Princeton offense
January 8, 2010 at 10:01 PMI think that the rapper should be from the same city where the waspy school their representing is located. For example Lupe and Northwestern or Wale and American.
January 9, 2010 at 12:07 AMSee, I was linking Lupe through style. The subtleties of the Princeton offense with the subtleties of his metaphors. I guess I could settle with him guest lecturing at Princeton and being a full time prof at N'Western
January 9, 2010 at 12:12 AMI guess this means Lil Jon is part-time at James Sprunt Community College? And if that's the case then it's safe to assume that P Diddy would be at Southwest Virginia Center for Literacy?
January 9, 2010 at 12:22 AMWho would have thought, that a post about Miami hoops would end up being our most commented on in the short history of the site? Sure it was us doing all the commenting, but it's still weird to me.
January 9, 2010 at 12:39 AMDon't forget flashgames' contribution
January 9, 2010 at 9:51 AMGuilty, I totally overlooked flashgames love for Will Smith.
January 9, 2010 at 10:54 AMwouldn't wale have to be w/ georgetown?
January 11, 2010 at 11:14 AMjames sprunt cc is like 40 min. from my house.
You live in North Carolina. And you know about the likes of James Sprunt CC. Dude you must be out in the boonies. I always pass the JSCC on my way to the beach. I only threw it out there because I didn't think anyone would know what it is.
January 11, 2010 at 9:36 PMDeckfight: Yeah, Wale would def have to be G'Town...or, maybe Maryland?
January 12, 2010 at 5:03 PMBoth American and G-Town fit all of the requirements for representation from Wale, so your good either way. To tell you the truth, the only DC schools that don't fit the bill are Trinity and Gallaudet.
January 12, 2010 at 7:05 PMOh and that school that lost it's accreditation last year.
January 12, 2010 at 7:08 PMthe number 30 is better than 29
January 13, 2010 at 5:26 PMPost a Comment