Read Everything That Dunks Must Converge

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Truth & lies in Pixar's 'The Good Dinosaur'

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To their own devices: Pablo Larrain's 'The Club'

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NBA 2009-2010 Mid-Season Report

February 12, 2010

It's all-star time again, so we got together to give you our team-by-team observations in two sentences or less. The results, after the jump.

Atlantic (Langston)
Boston Celtics- The acquisition of Rasheed Wallace was supposed to turn them back into champions. But Danny Ainge's math must be off, because all it did was turn them into the 2008-09 Pistons.

New Jersey Nets- Their record is 4-48, and they still haven't been eliminated from the playoffs.

New York Knicks- I don't know what's more absurd, their roster or these NBA All-Star portraits?

Philadelphia 76ers- If you are injury prone and can dunk, the Sixers may just have a bag of cash and a spot in the lineup for you.

Toronto Raptors- Raps mission statement: rebuild, compete, rinse and repeat.  They are in year one of step two, with step three to commence in July.

Central (Berndon)
Chicago Bulls- I don't even know where to begin, they are erratic at best, but still #7 in the East.

Cleveland Cavaliers- This is the year Bron Bron gets his ring.

Detroit Pistons- This team is a bad chemistry experiment, or a sandwich with too many condiments. They still could get hot and get the 8th playoff spot.

Indiana Pacers- Larry Legend says they are making progress, Brendan Brody says they are not.

Milwaukee Bucks- Another mediocre fringe playoff team, although unlike the Pistons, they are overachieving to be in this position with a roster that has much less talent.

Southeast (Teach)
Atlanta Hawks-Closest thing the NBA has to a custom made NBA Live team.

Charlotte Bobcats-Other than the Malice at the Palace, do the Spurs ever wake up in a cold sweat over Stephen Jackson?

Miami Heat-Isn't the signing of one great free agent this summer all it would take to turn the clock back to 2006?

Orlando Magic-It's easy to buy into the negative aspects of Hedo for Vince move, and I always hated it; but there they are number 2 in the East. 

Washington Wizards-Trying not to make a gun joke is difficult.

Southwest (Teach)
Dallas Mavericks-If Dirk and Durant meet in the Playoffs, it could be like watching a cat play with its reflection.

Houston Rockets-They're like Stepford wives.  Perfectly flawed in their effort to please.

Memphis Grizzlies-Even Davy Crocket would brag about bagging this bear.  Too bad they're in the West.

New Orleans Hornets-Somehow the Louisianna Purchase and westward expansion has them in the wrong conference.  They're a Playoff team in the East.

San Antonio Spurs-So this is how the world ends, not with a bang, but with a whimper. 

Northwest (Berndon)
Denver Nuggets- I've beaten the tattoo thing to death, so with nothing clever or cute to say, the Nuggets still give the Zen Master nightmares when he takes his weed naps.

Minnesota Timberwolves- I like the young talent, and the Wolves are a year or two away from being where Oklahoma City and Memphis are.

Oklahoma City Thunder- Kevin Durant is making the leap to becoming an upper-echelon player, and I can't wait to see the Thunder in the playoffs.

Portland Trailblazers- Somehow getting it done with Juwan Howard as its starting center.

Utah Jazz- Jerry Sloan for coach of the year? Utah is a basketball hotbed in a state full of white people (see Jazz, Utah, Cougars, BYU).

Pacific (Langston)
Golden State Warriors- Stephen Curry got his first triple-double in the NBA on Wednesday, Don Nelson will react by benching him for the next 6 games.

Los Angles Clippers- Their 2010 first round pick just injured himself when thinking about the possibilities of being a Clipper.

Los Angeles Lakers- Like flip-flops, they're nice in March but built for June.

Phoenix Suns- What's greater, the amount of defense the Suns have played or the time spent jogging by Charles Barkley?

Sacramento Kings- Tyreke Evans just made it to Dallas for the Rookie-Sophomore game. He would have made it there faster but it's much harder when you're carrying the whole team on your back.

Photos via


Teach said...

I actually agree with Larry Legend about the Pacers. If they get a point guard, then they are most definitely headed in the right direction.

February 13, 2010 at 6:00 PM
Langston said...

I hate to pile on, but with Hibbert and Granger they have two pieces to build a franchise around. That is, if Roy's body can hold up.

February 13, 2010 at 6:55 PM
Teach said...

Okay, Berndon picked the Cavs to win it all in this post. Anyone else willing to make a prediction?

February 13, 2010 at 7:18 PM
Langston said...

If we were guaranteed nothing would change between now and June, the Cavs would be the only bet. But injuries, trades, signings and Phil's mindgames still have two-plus months to change the whole playoff picture.

February 13, 2010 at 7:46 PM
Iceman, AD said...

Charlotte Bobcats win it all, Ray Felton scores 40 a game in the finals. Pigs Fly.

February 14, 2010 at 1:24 AM
Teach said...

Ice: There's one thing wrong with your prediction. Stephen Jackson would obviously be Finals MVP, so how many points a game do you have him scoring, or is he the pig that flew?

February 14, 2010 at 10:00 AM
Teach said...

Langston: you were right...this is a horrible weekend for Valentine's Day

February 14, 2010 at 5:12 PM
Teach said...

looping back around to my first comment about the Pacers...that point guard could be Wall if things land right in the lottery

February 16, 2010 at 4:08 PM

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