It's all-star time again, so we got together to give you our team-by-team observations in two sentences or less. The results, after the jump.
Atlantic (Langston)
Boston Celtics- The acquisition of Rasheed Wallace was supposed to turn them back into champions. But Danny Ainge's math must be off, because all it did was turn them into the 2008-09 Pistons.
New Jersey Nets- Their record is 4-48, and they still haven't been eliminated from the playoffs.
New York Knicks- I don't know what's more absurd, their roster or these NBA All-Star portraits?
Philadelphia 76ers- If you are injury prone and can dunk, the Sixers may just have a bag of cash and a spot in the lineup for you.
Toronto Raptors- Raps mission statement: rebuild, compete, rinse and repeat. They are in year one of step two, with step three to commence in July.
Central (Berndon)
Chicago Bulls- I don't even know where to begin, they are erratic at best, but still #7 in the East.
Cleveland Cavaliers- This is the year Bron Bron gets his ring.
Detroit Pistons- This team is a bad chemistry experiment, or a sandwich with too many condiments. They still could get hot and get the 8th playoff spot.
Indiana Pacers- Larry Legend says they are making progress, Brendan Brody says they are not.
Milwaukee Bucks- Another mediocre fringe playoff team, although unlike the Pistons, they are overachieving to be in this position with a roster that has much less talent.
Southeast (Teach)
Atlanta Hawks-Closest thing the NBA has to a custom made NBA Live team.
Charlotte Bobcats-Other than the Malice at the Palace, do the Spurs ever wake up in a cold sweat over Stephen Jackson?
Miami Heat-Isn't the signing of one great free agent this summer all it would take to turn the clock back to 2006?
Orlando Magic-It's easy to buy into the negative aspects of Hedo for Vince move, and I always hated it; but there they are number 2 in the East.
Washington Wizards-Trying not to make a gun joke is difficult.
Southwest (Teach)
Dallas Mavericks-If Dirk and Durant meet in the Playoffs, it could be like watching a cat play with its reflection.
Houston Rockets-They're like Stepford wives. Perfectly flawed in their effort to please.
Memphis Grizzlies-Even Davy Crocket would brag about bagging this bear. Too bad they're in the West.
New Orleans Hornets-Somehow the Louisianna Purchase and westward expansion has them in the wrong conference. They're a Playoff team in the East.
San Antonio Spurs-So this is how the world ends, not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Northwest (Berndon)
Denver Nuggets- I've beaten the tattoo thing to death, so with nothing clever or cute to say, the Nuggets still give the Zen Master nightmares when he takes his weed naps.
Minnesota Timberwolves- I like the young talent, and the Wolves are a year or two away from being where Oklahoma City and Memphis are.
Oklahoma City Thunder- Kevin Durant is making the leap to becoming an upper-echelon player, and I can't wait to see the Thunder in the playoffs.
Portland Trailblazers- Somehow getting it done with Juwan Howard as its starting center.
Utah Jazz- Jerry Sloan for coach of the year? Utah is a basketball hotbed in a state full of white people (see Jazz, Utah, Cougars, BYU).
Pacific (Langston)
Golden State Warriors- Stephen Curry got his first triple-double in the NBA on Wednesday, Don Nelson will react by benching him for the next 6 games.
Los Angles Clippers- Their 2010 first round pick just injured himself when thinking about the possibilities of being a Clipper.
Los Angeles Lakers- Like flip-flops, they're nice in March but built for June.
Phoenix Suns- What's greater, the amount of defense the Suns have played or the time spent jogging by Charles Barkley?
Sacramento Kings- Tyreke Evans just made it to Dallas for the Rookie-Sophomore game. He would have made it there faster but it's much harder when you're carrying the whole team on your back.
Photos via NBA.com
8 comments:
I actually agree with Larry Legend about the Pacers. If they get a point guard, then they are most definitely headed in the right direction.
February 13, 2010 at 6:00 PMI hate to pile on, but with Hibbert and Granger they have two pieces to build a franchise around. That is, if Roy's body can hold up.
February 13, 2010 at 6:55 PMOkay, Berndon picked the Cavs to win it all in this post. Anyone else willing to make a prediction?
February 13, 2010 at 7:18 PMIf we were guaranteed nothing would change between now and June, the Cavs would be the only bet. But injuries, trades, signings and Phil's mindgames still have two-plus months to change the whole playoff picture.
February 13, 2010 at 7:46 PMCharlotte Bobcats win it all, Ray Felton scores 40 a game in the finals. Pigs Fly.
February 14, 2010 at 1:24 AMIce: There's one thing wrong with your prediction. Stephen Jackson would obviously be Finals MVP, so how many points a game do you have him scoring, or is he the pig that flew?
February 14, 2010 at 10:00 AMLangston: you were right...this is a horrible weekend for Valentine's Day
February 14, 2010 at 5:12 PMlooping back around to my first comment about the Pacers...that point guard could be Wall if things land right in the lottery
February 16, 2010 at 4:08 PMPost a Comment