A Brett Favre Breakup Letter, Part 8 (Green Bay vs. Minnesota)

Dear Brett,

Okay, I'm man enough to admit it; you looked pretty good yesterday. I still say it was the wrong shade of green. What is it Shakespeare wrote about the color? "O, beware, my lord, of jealousy;/ It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock/ The meat it feeds on...."

I don't know how many more touchdown passes off your back foot I can take, especially to guys named Stuckey and Cotchery, but in all honesty, it wasn't the touchdowns that gave me that sinking feeling in my stomach. It was the fact that you seemed happy to do it. I never thought the sound of J-E-T-S would make you smile in New York the way you did in Green Bay, which is why I now need Aaron Rodgers to come up big tonight.

I don't need to compare stats between the two of you. He doesn't have to match your 194 yards and 2 touchdowns from yesterday. He just needs to make Packer fans smile again. He's just got to give us something we can hold onto, like a win, in primetime, on Monday night, that all of America sees, because we need to move on, especially now that we've seen you already have.

Of course, you do seem to mention Green Bay in every interview. Could you stop that? You're a Jet now, and we're having a hard enough time realizing that without you bringing us up all the time.

Sincerely,
a Packers fan

PS Historically, a viking helmet has never been discovered with horns. Yes, Adrian Peterson, not only is your nickname blasphemous, but the helmet you wear is a historical fallacy. No wonder you run so fast...your pants are on fire. Green Bay wins, and Peterson's hamstrings pop like the rubber bands on an old G.I. Joe action figure.