Major League Baseball Playoffs (ramblings)

When your team finishes 72-90, the Major League Playoffs can feel more like a reminder of how bad your team is than a display of the game's best teams going against each other. One can grow jealous, frustrated, and indifferent, watching teams that stayed healthier, developed their farm systems better, and managed their money better than the team one dedicated a whole summer to supporting. One can begin to feel like the kid who missed the first word in the spelling bee and now has to watch the rest of it.

If one's own team is not in the playoffs, then one has to find other plot lines to follow; other cars to bark at and chase down the street. Here are the shiny objects that have me barking this fall:

AL Divisional Rounds
ANGELS vs. RED SOX

People keep telling me the Yankees missed the playoffs, but I swear I saw Dice K slated to pitch on Friday. Wait, what? He pitches for Boston, not New York? Those are different franchises? I thought the Rays beat the New Boston Yank Sox for the division title? Seriously, the histories of New York and Boston are so intertwined they should be contracted into one franchise. Also, that would open up a lot more games on ESPN and FOX's TV schedules.

The Angels, on the other hand, have always been a favorite of mine. I didn't like the Rally Monkey, but I love Angels in the Outfield, a film starring the most underrated actor of his generation, Tony Danza, and Adrian Brody, in a performance that trumps his Oscar-winning one in The Pianist.  Matthew McConaughey has never been this good again either.  In fact, if not for this film, I doubt the Angels even exist.  Plus, they feature Vladimir Guerrero, the Tony Danza of baseball.  Seriously, Who's the Boss should never have been green-lighted, but Tony's charisma made it happen.  Guerrero should not be a career .323 hitter, considering the pitches he chases, but somehow he does it, just like Danza somehow kept the house clean with an effortless, "Heeey!!!" 


I'm pulling for the Angels because this is their chance to show why they deserve more attention from the baseball world; it's their chance to show the baseball world "who's the boss." (insert cheesy Tony Danza grin here)

RAYS VS. WHITE SOX

A tin man would root for the Rays. Afterall, they are the underdog, and they have heart, according to Lil Wayne, who describes their blood pumping organ as amazingly unexplainable. He also adds a wow, a great, and a list of his top 15 favorite teams in every sport, all like 85 of them. I would agree with Lil' Wayne, except he has ESPN tattooed on his right arm. I still question his dedication to his picks, until he gets ESPN2 tattooed on his left arm. Let's just say I'm skeptical and pulling for the White Sox because I went to Tampa this summer, and it's filled with Yankees and Red Sox fans. The city cares more about spring training than it does its own team.

The White Sox, on the other hand, have a group of true fans, who are treated like 3/5 of a human being in their own city. Carl Sandburg once described Chicago as "the city of the broad shoulders," and the black and white uniforms of the White Sox look like they were designed for the working class. This team hits home runs like they've been lifting crates in the rail yard. The Rays may have heart, but this team has sweat, spit, and muscle. This team can't afford to have heart because their own city broke it a long time ago. The fact that there are still White Sox fans today is a testament to a minority group's perseverance in midst of an enthusiastic majority, like punk vs. disco.

Yes, the White Sox's main competition is not the team they face on the field, but the team across town they fight for headlines with. The White Sox and the Cubs is like the truth versus the fiction. In real life, players bet on games, cheat, and lose their careers. In fairy tales, gypsies cast spells because they love their goats, like Shrek loves donkey. I, for one, never understood how the gypsy and the goat got to Wrigley in the first place. Does the L pass through Transylvania?

I'm pulling for the White Sox. I'm pulling for the real life madness that is Ozzie Guillen. I'm pulling for the real life pain that is the unravelling of Ken Griffey's greatness. I'm pulling for Jim Thome. I'm pulling for the story that isn't a fairy tale because midnight comes everyday of our lives.

Who didn't imitate this swing as a kid?


NL Divisional Rounds
CUBS VS. DODGERS

Okay, I went hard on the Cubs in that bit about the White Sox, but I've never understood how the popularity of these two teams became so one-sided. Both teams have had good and bad years. Both teams have had bad luck. Both teams have had charismatic and talented players, who usually did not deliver in the clutch. 2005 was an exception, so I don't get the disparity.

Is it that the White Sox's uniforms make them look like Darth Vader, while the Cubs and their stadium make America think of chewing gum? Is it Harry Cary's voice that caused this? Is it the inability to forgive a franchise for sins committed in 1919? What was it? What is it? Does anyone know? I'd like an answer.

Anyway, I'm pulling for the Cubs to beat the Dodgers. I can't pull for a team that's from L.A. I just can't.

PHILLIES VS. BREWERS

The Phillies will win this series. The Brewers lost their chance at postseason success when Ben Sheets got hurt, but I'm pulling for the Brewers because the '93 Phillies still give me nightmares, and I wake up in a cold tobacco sweat.

________

ALCS
ANGELS VS. WHITE SOX

This series comes down to one conflict. What's been more important to America: Tony Danza or trains? It's a tough call, but "Who's the Boss?" is rarely, if ever, seen in syndication these days. I saw a train last weekend, and it was moving. Trains win, which means I'll be pulling for Jermaine Dye, Griffey, Thome, and others to keep lifting crates in the rail yard.


NLCS
CUBS VS. BREWERS

This series I hope happens. Milwaukee is like the little brother to Chicago. I don't even think Chicago worries about its little brother ever even being a serious threat on the field, and I'm not sure they should; but Chicago should worry about losing its Charlie Brown factor. Charlie Brown is always lovable. Charlie Brown never wins, and that makes us like him even more because he still plays the game no matter what. The one time he was winning, the game got rained out. The Cubs losing keeps Charlie Brown alive in Chicago. I'd hate to see Alfonso Soriano and Carlos Zambrano take Charlie Brown out in the middle of the night and tie him to the rails of the L, to get run over by a train powering its way back from Transylvania full of gypsies and goats.

Keep Charlie Brown alive!

Keep throwing the high straight ball, Cubs. We love it. Some things are more important than trophies.

My second reason for hoping the Brewers make the Series is linked to Marty McFly. McFly travelled back in time to the 1950's. I would like to travel back to the 1970's. Milwaukee is trapped in the 1970's. Brewers fans still tailgate to Led Zeppelin, using tapes, not CDs. If they win, then I think somehow that will result in all of us being transported back to the 1970's, to a time when mascots were still allowed to slide into a barrel full of beer, people lived off of sausages and cheese, and mustaches did not signify a career in pornography.  It sounds magical.  It sounds like a fairy tale, until one remembers they had lines for gas in the '70s, political corruption, and disco. Then the fairy tale becomes all too real and uncomfortably familiar, like kissing your mother, or Sarah Palin running for Vice President, or ringtones being passed off as pop songs, or... standing in line for gas. Hey, Marty, we're stuck in a time warp.



WORLD SERIES

WHITE SOX VS. BREWERS

The working class vs. time travel, that's the World Series I want.  I feel like I'm already watching it in the Presidential race.  Baseball is more poetic than politics.  Give me poetry over debates. Give me something that truly wipes the slate clean because, Atlanta, next year is our year to take on the Bourgeoisie.

The number of the day is:

16, for the amount of innings the Chicago Cubs went without allowing a single hit against the Houston Astros. Yesterday Carlos Zambrano became the first pitcher to pitch a no-hitter at a neutral site. Not to be outdone,Ted Lilly did his best to match Z's no-no today. Lilly pitched seven great innings striking out 9, walking one and allowing a lone hit. The Cubs bullpen finished the game off, without allowing another hit. The 6-1 victory over the Astros moves the Cubs to a 7.5 game lead over the struggling Brewers. Also of note, the Brewers fired Ned Yost today. The Cubs magic number is now 7.

MLB Update: Nomar lifts the Dodgers

Nomar Garciaparra's solo walk-off lifts the Dodgers to a 7-6 victory over the Phillies. The homer capped off 6 run rally,that included homers from Manny Ramirez(5th in his 12 games as a Dodger) and Andre Ethier. Winning their third straight over Philadelphia and five out of seven games overall, the Dodgers moved into a first-place tie with Arizona in the NL West. The Phillies, who have lost five straight to the Dodgers and five of seven overall, dropped into a first-place tie with the New York Mets in the East.

C.C. Sabathia keeps his record as a Brewer spotless, moving his tally to 7-0 since becoming a member of the Brew Crew. Prince Fielder helped him get there with a home run(second straight game with a HR) and Corey Hart did his part with three hits and a three-run triple. With the 7-1 victory over the woeful Padres, the Brewers have now won 8 straight since the Prince-Parra shove incident.

Rich Harden won his 7th straight road game, Kosuke Fukudome got two RBI with two hits and the Cubs beat the Bravos 8-0 to complete their first sweep of a road doubleheader since 1992.
Chicago improved to 26 games over .500 with a record of 73-47 for the first time since ending the 1984 season 96-55, and the two wins pushed their road streak to seven straight, their longest since June 12-22, 2004.

The number of the day is:

7, for the 7 straight games the Brewers have won since the dugout skirmish between Manny Parra and Prince Fielder. Prince Fielder helped lead the team to victory with a 3 run dinger, Mike Cameron added a solo shot as the brew crew pulled within three games of the first-place cubbies in the NL Central. The Cubs were rained out at Atlanta on Tuesday. Milwaukee increased its wild-card lead over St. Louis to four games.

Go to Sleep Brew Crew

Well the Cubbies just once again sang the Brewers a lullaby at Wrigley North with a 7-2 victory. After the Theriot triple, I kind of stopped paying attention, both to this game and to the Brewers as a threat in the Central. Dempster got his 12th win of the year, and my fantsay team combined to go 6-7 with 3 runs, 3 RBI, and an SB. This series could not have gone any better so far, and although it is only July 30, the division is essentially over if we pull of the sweep tomorrow. The Brewers will not come back if they get swept at home. They may as well just go after the wild card and hope for a playoff rematch. At least Prince Fielder got mad at me and pulled an Arod with a meaningless 9th inning homerun. I'm be no means saying that we are going to win the world series by any stretch, I'm not that stupid. But this is the most confident I have ever been about the team I love the most out of any of my teams, so basically, right now I'm eccstatic.

Brewers-Cubs....1st 3 Innings

7:58- So baseball tonight is interviewing my new favorite Cub, my boy Jeff Samardzija. Not very often that someone plays for my favorite team, then goes to my other favorite pro team in different sports. If only Tom Zbikowski played baseball too. Favorite potential playoff subplot right now is him playing a prominent role in the playoffs.

8:05- "Technical Difficulties from a television standpoint." The bad luck is starting already.

8:07- Alright, two more Hippie Lettuce players hitting 1-2 in Soriano and Theriot (who says I'm not a homer). Big week this week playing against Marsh with my lead dwindling.

8:09- Soriano just looked terrible on the first two swings, then a rope to left field for a single. It's looking promising. And now Soriano is starting to steal bases again. Steals third after a sacrifice from the Riot. Good Start boys.

8:17- That normally does not happen. Reed Johnson and his soulpatch just struck out, but reached on a wild pitch. 1-0 Good Guys.

8:22- Marky Mark DeRosa with an RBI single. Go Dartmouth. 2-0.

8:30- So here's the backstory on the drafting of my first place fantasy team, and I highly recommend my technique.....long story short, it was the first friday of march madness, so I took off from my bartending gig to watch the games, booze, and draft my team with a little beer pong thrown in for good measure. So when draft time hits I'm already in good shape, as staff members Langston, Smitty, and I went to the great Carlos O'kelly's that has been mentioned previously during our talks about the All-Star game viewing (I manage the bar there). I literally had one list of rankings, and proceded to grab either a Cub, or the best person not crossed off. No overthinking, just simple pointing and grunting at Pat who was handling the typing duties. Then heading back to the pong table. Needless to say despite obvious criticism about me being a homer, I ended up with Zambrano, Dempster, and Soriano. And I've been in first place the whole year. So for all of the years from here on in, I will make myself stupid by killing brain cells with suds, then grunt and point my way to a championship.

8:39- Dempster looks a little shaky as Milwaukee scores off another wild pitch. 2-1 Cubs.

8:40: Another single for Soriano, he can single-handedly carry us when he gets hot. I hope Prince Fielder doesn't eat him. The Riot (who's jersey I just ordered) comes up with another single. Hipple Lettuce is smoking the competition.

8:42- D.Lee grounds out to short. Prince Fielder just split his pants bending over to catch the ball.

8:45- I think the Cubs and Brewers might own the rights to half of the African-Americans in baseball. Sabathia, Lee, Bill Hall and his chewing tobacco, Daryle Ward, Richie Weeks, Ray Durham. I really might sit down and calulate this later.

8:46- Oh Ryan, you and your tricky Canadian glove trick thingy. 3 K's through 1 1/3.
Also I forgot to mention Mike Cameron. That's four out of the Brewers first 7 hitters.

8:48- Is Jason Kendall black too?

Alright that's all for now, going out for a little to watch the game at the bar near my house. I'll be back later for either late inning blogging, or a post-game recap/rant if we lose. Go Cubs.

Live Blog.....Cubs-Brewers

Alright, so I'm attempting to give live reaction to the Cubs-Brewers game tonight, coming from the residence of the biggest Cubs fan in Stafford, VA. For a little background, as a fan of the team, I could not be in a better spot right now. I was extremely worried a couple of days ago as the BrewCrew closed the lead down to 1, with 4 games head to head at home. But in consectutive days, we beat their two aces, playing inspired ball along the way. That being said, I expect this writing effort to more than likely jinx the North Side boys tonight. Anyone who knows me knows I definitely have the power of bad luck on my side. (No need to go any further, like I said, if you know me, you know what I'm talking about). We also have my boy Ryan Dempster, who's been the sleeper pickup of the year for my 1st place fantasy squad, Hippie Lettuce. (About the only thing Jim Rome has ever come up with). So here goes nothing, I've got the skoal berry bend ready to go, potentially some beers later with some friends hopefully celebrating the end of the Brewers hopes for the NL Central. To get me ready, a little October foreshadowing perhaps: