LCB obtained the following diagram from CNN. Wolf Blitzer found this elaborate rendering of Tiger's breakfast routine vital to explaining the importance of his affairs and the current state of his marriage to the average American. Obviously, this investigation of a private family matter helps everyone to understand how and why a sports star might commit adultery without ruining his legacy, especially considering the number of athletes/politicians whose sins against the laws of marriage have ruined their credibility and their ability to profit for good. Among these celebrities are: Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, Chipper Jones, Patrick Ewing, Larry Bird, Kobe Bryant, Shaquille O'Neal, Charles Barkeley, Rick Pitino, and President Clinton. Hopefully, Tiger can come through this ordeal less scathed than any of these men who are all currently unemployed and sitting in breadlines thanks to the American public's insistence on maintaining a high moral standard. The public has clearly shown an inability to forgive and forget time and time again, which is why men such as Michael Jordan now have to peddle underwear for a living.
Stay tuned for CNN360 with Anderson Cooper. He'll be talking to the garbage men who rifle through Tiger's trash, both his literal and metaphorical refuse. He'll also take an in depth look at how Tiger's infidelities will affect President Obama's policies in Afghanistan. Many people came away from last night's speech believing that 30,000 troops should be sent to Tiger's residence in Florida, seeing as how his extramarital affairs threaten the fabric of American life as much as Al Qaeda, shark attacks, and rude bumper stickers.
Stay tuned for CNN360 with Anderson Cooper. He'll be talking to the garbage men who rifle through Tiger's trash, both his literal and metaphorical refuse. He'll also take an in depth look at how Tiger's infidelities will affect President Obama's policies in Afghanistan. Many people came away from last night's speech believing that 30,000 troops should be sent to Tiger's residence in Florida, seeing as how his extramarital affairs threaten the fabric of American life as much as Al Qaeda, shark attacks, and rude bumper stickers.