Previewing the College Football Playoffs

That big to do in college football thing is happening today:

"I'm tellin' you Dabo, it looked like a corn dog on a skillet!" "Yep, I bet it did."

Capital One Orange Bowl @ 4 PM

This game should be a high-scoring affair. After all, almost all of Oklahoma’s final results resemble basketball scores, and Clemson has been quite talented offensively for a while now. What’s surprising coming into the game, or maybe it’s not surprising, is how little respect the Tigers seem to garner as a number one team. Not only are fans and experts picking the Sooners but so are all the cyborg simulations that one day we might opt to use for colonizing other planets and venturing in and out of wormholes.

Alas, until that day arrives, we will debate the flash and skill of Deshaun Watson versus the Big 12 Petrie dish success of Baker Mayfield, whose name sounds like he has a future on the professional golf circuit if this football endeavor doesn’t pan out. Both quarterbacks have thrown for at least 3,300 yards and thirty touchdowns this season. So why should all that end now? Winter on the east coast has been warm. It was above freezing in the North Pole yesterday. Expect fireworks in Miami. Heat and haze and a sign of things to come.

Oh, and this just in, some of Clemson’s players misbehaved and got themselves sent home from a business trip they mistook for an early Spring Break. Blame it on the weather. Blame it on Dabo Swinney being a sideline jerk. Clemson gonna Clemson. Start writing and reading those Bob Stoops redemption stories; he and Baker are about to go Interstellar.

Goodyear Cotton Bowl @ 8 PM

Doesn’t Goodyear Cotton Bowl sound like a racist musical? Oh well, I digress. Isn’t this exciting? Isn’t this David versus Goliath? Little ole Michigan State from the shoulda coulda woulda Big Ten versus the almighty Crimson Tide from Alabama. Enough on that, some story lines should be retired. Let me digress further.

In the SEC, over the past decade or so, it has become popular to root and cheer for the conference over all other comers. I am a Georgia fan, so this means that I have spent the last decade or so rooting for Saban and Les Miles and even Gators who shall not be named to win BCS bowl games and national titles. To all that camaraderie and bull shit, I now say no more. No more will I root for a conference for the sake of not feeling so down and out about my own team coming up short. It’s nonsense.

While Saban and others have stuffed the pockets of the entire SEC, the on the field results have been somewhat depleted. What do you have to show for Saban’s success, Volunteers? What trophies do you possess, Ole Miss and Mississippi State? Tigers of Missouri, are you as feared as the Tigers of LSU? How do you feel Gamecocks, Commodores, Razorbacks, and Wildcats? How warm is your seat, Les Miles? Oh where, oh where have you gone, Mark Richt?

Go Spartans! Go Connor Cook! Saban winning hasn’t won for anyone else, so his losing can’t be that bad. Yet, how does one out Saban Saban? Look for his ‘Bama to bruise poor Sparty, and, when it happens, do not pretend this excellence belongs to anyone other than Saban and his followers.

Bryan Harvey tweets @LawnChairBoys. 

And on November 7th, the SEC devoured itself.

How awesome is Les Miles in this pic?

The war between cats and dawgs.

I will go on record as being an adamant supporter of Mark Richt. I can’t explain exactly why. I don’t really care to explain exactly why. However, I know the scales on this are starting to shift. The losses to Florida and Georgia Tech last year and the losses to Tennessee and again to Florida this year have several people outside the program speculating about the fate of Richt’s tenure in Athens. Every time Georgia loses this speculation rumbles like an earthquake through my phone. A loss to Kentucky tomorrow would tip these scales dramatically.

Trick or treat in the SEC.

Come as yourself.

The decision not to wear a costume either means an individual is too lame to party or too cool to party. Sometimes being too cool is actually lame, and sometimes being too lame is actually cool. Texas A&M’s season started off well, and then it started going not so well. Alabama bullied them down the stretch, and Ole Miss finished the job with a 23-3 thumping.

October 17th in the SEC.

Another Saturday. Another post.

"Yeah, I don't know, Nick. I think a 30for30 about how I stole your shit might be something the people are into."

Auburn drowned Kentucky in the moonshine of its own reflection.

This game took place in Lexington earlier this week. Kentucky wore radiant silver helmets, as if football were a game played by Greek princes against Gorgon sisters. Football, however, is not a game played against mythic creatures. Instead, football is a game played by college athletes against other college athletes, and some colleges have better athletes than others. No shield from Athena can change that. The game featured a lot of big pass plays, and college athletes making athletic grabs. The game filled a highlight reel. And, in the end, Kentucky had a chance. But that’s the thing about Kentucky football—chances always end up in past tense. With 27 seconds left in the game the question, Ken-tucky do it, had an answer. A 2-1 start in the conference is now 2-2. Tigers are much more fierce than Wildcats.  

A matter of cannibalism: Louisiana Tech and Mississippi State.

When the Bulldogs play the Bulldogs, the Bulldogs will be victorious. When the Bulldogs are victorious, other Bulldogs will not be. However, once a Bulldog, always a Bulldog. We are all Bulldogs, until we’re no longer Bulldogs. We will always be Bulldogs. Go Bulldogs!

Ole Miss visits Memphis.

Um, somehow this game became interesting. In fact, the game will air on ABC. After all, these teams have only one loss between them. The mighty Tigers of Memphis are living a dream. The mighty Tigers of Memphis are 5-0, yet unranked. In some ways, like all things backwoods and southern, this matchup will feature lots of friends and neighbors and cousins facing off against one another. The whole affair will reek of incest. If the Rebels win, then all this intrigue will evaporate like rain on a hot highway. But, if the Tigers manage the upset, then the name of quarterback Paxton Lynch will fall on our ears like a torrent.

Alabama and Texas A&M collide once more.

Right away Texas A&M felt like an SEC school because of how it played against ‘Bama. Now A&M faces an opportunity to not only make a name for itself in the conference but to supplant the powers that be. They come into the game ranked higher and with a better record than Alabama. This game is about more than this season; this game is about the next half decade or so.

After all, before the Georgia game, many fans and analysts doubted the authenticity of this year’s Crimson Tide. Could they be an aberration on Saban’s year in and year out pursuit of perfection? Now, that doubt feels like eons ago; the press clippings of fossilized worlds no longer in existence. Yet such worlds feel remote no longer. Saban’s squad impersonated dominance in Sanford Stadium. With time, what once was plastic pretense can become a bedrock identity.

So, what happens if the Aggies prevail at home today? Saban and his team would then slouch back into the east down two games to the Aggies and trailing LSU as well. This notion of change is all rather interesting and, for now, possible.

When the sun sets on the Gators.

This game could happen twice.

First, the Gators have risen from the Muschamp ashtray with a fury. And, at 4-0 in the conference, the start is no longer a surprise. The fast start is not so much an uprising as the status quo of this football season. Georgia lost Nick Chubb. Tennessee limps along. South Carolina throws retirement parties. Mizzou’s roar is but a kazoo in the wilderness. And the Wildcats fainted at the sight of their own reflection. The Gators are it.

Then again, the Gators just suspended starting quarterback Will Grier for the season, brining Treon Harris back into the starting fold. An October night in Baton Rouge is probably not the place for such adjustments to be made. In some ways, the Gators voice seems ready to crack. While undefeated and appearing dominant the last two weeks, this team barely edged East Carolina, Kentucky, and Tennessee. The last time Harris attempted anything of note was in against the Pirates of ECU. Of course, quarterback play has not necessarily been the reason for the Gators’ renewed success. 

Oh, and the guys at LSU just flat out play.

Missouri scheduled to trim the hedges.

My dad emailed me earlier in the week: “Georgia’s season is down the tubes.” Welp, there you have it.

Bryan Harvey tweets @LawnChairBoys. 

A new day dawns in the SEC.

Perhaps the heading is a bit dramatic, but certain hopes and dreams quaked, erupted, and dispersed last week—have you heard talk of Ole Miss or Georgia over the last week?—while other visions have only now become clear in the bonfire smoke and leafy haze of early October. The season marches on. It does not dwell. The past moves with it. 

Long thought to have run dry, the swamp now looks to be swallowing everything.

Ole Miss punishes the wrong man, a stranger out of New Mexico State.

This game will start at high noon. This time makes sense for an old-fashioned shootout pitting a never was against an already has been. Mississippi coach Hugh Freeze doubts his program is of an elite status. They are in the room, I guess, but they are not centered. They sit over in the corner somewhere with a bottle full of sorrow. In the liquid’s hue dance the last embers of the old homestead. A mustached Aggie with a bandanna around his neck staggers towards the swinging doors. He trips. The table flips. Whiskey soaks into the sawdust. A man draws a gun. A blast shouts from the corner. The man who fired it walks out into the street, paying for nothing, and with no one caring about where he might go next. West, East, North, South? For the time being, the debacle in Gainesville is in every town and field.

 Georgia and Tennessee to commiserate on the field of play around 3:30.

Neither team can quite win the big one, but one of these teams has to win this one. After a 38-10 loss Alabama game, Georgia can no longer pretend to have a legitimate quarterback. Greyson Lambert isn’t exactly awful, but neither is he good. Last week’s game featured a lot of mistakes on offense, special teams, and on defense, but the Dawgs may have lost the game on the first play from scrimmage. After a hesitant stutter step, Malcolm Mitchell ran free up the right sideline, Lambert watched the route develop, and fired at his receiver. The ball sailed wide of the sideline. Most likely, this drifting just wide of the target will epitomize Georgia’s season, just as Tennessee’s season appears so far to be a surrendering of leads that cannot help but remind Volunteer fans that their idea of self too might be slipping away into the ether. Entering today, the all-time series between these rivals is tied. It can’t stay that way, right?

LSU to snap a chicken neck and boil water in a pot.

LSU looks really good—special even. South Carolina does not. This game may die early and quick and with an air of certainty. Do not expect the body to dance around without strings in the barnyard. Expect the tiger to swallow it whole. I think we’re done here.

Arkansas to pay its yearly dues to Alabama.

The helmets look good on the field next to each other, like old time rivals from an age when uniforms were stubbornly simple, like the game itself. This game, however, doesn’t really seem to have much in the offering. The collection plate will go ‘round, and Coach Bielema will eye it as if paper currency were the raw material of the leper’s bandages. But by the time Saban conducts the last hymn, Bielema will have pulled out his wallet and placed every last dollar on the velvet pad of a brass bowl. Last week’s win against Tennessee for Arkansas doesn’t really suggest any other outcome today is likely. Tennessee, after all, is no Alabama.

Florida stakes a claim in Missouri.

No one saw it coming, at least that I know of, but Florida barnstormed the hell out of Ole Miss last week, moving to 3-0 in the SEC. Is a letdown possible? Sure. But a letdown now appears as unlikely to occur as the undefeated start once did. Mizzou has won the SEC two years running, which means there is no reason for the Gators not to take the new bloods seriously. No one saw it coming, but the boys from Gainesville are in the driver’s seat of the SEC East going in to today and most likely will still be in it once the day ends.

Bryan Harvey tweets @LawnChairBoys. 

An October day in the SEC

"We'll play some old ones, but with a new twist. You can't play it the same way twice."

South Carolina visits Missouri with a familiar yet unrecognizable playlist.

The above photo has invited jokes comparing Steve Spurrier to a veteran blues singer. He also stated this week that he does not listen to rap music. None of this has much to do with football, but neither does discussion of the Gamecocks status these days. In fact, everything about the Gamecocks currently has to do with the age of the ol’ ball coach. Does anyone remember a time when he was simply the ball coach? Did such a time ever exist?

2014 College Football Playoff: National Championship Game

Ohio State v Oregon @ 8:30 on ESPN

Mike Langston: The first national championship game brings something new.

Bryan Harvey: You sound like Abe Lincoln at Gettysburg.

The Hudsucker Playoff

Everything in college football's long, illustrious history has moved towards this day, this day and a playoff. The season, and all the seasons before it, have worked like one wide establishing shot, moving through time, tightening and tightening onto this moment of selection. It has looked something like this:

SEC Week 13

Seriously, this is what runs the SEC East?

The last week or so has been busy for both Langston and I. He did last week's previews. I did the week before. We're doing our best to create an LCB renaissance, but we also have jobs, tailgating, and grad. classes that, at times, make for some rather lackadaisical blogging.

Anyway, this week's SEC schedule is rather light, so this should take too long and life will roll on as it always does.

SEC Week 12 Preview

Two weeks ago, there was a chance that this weekend would be loaded with SEC games that would help decide the final four for CFP. Georgia was struck down by a mix of a dumb rule and blunt honesty from the best skill player in the country. The Dawgs [sans Gurley] looked like many on Frat Beach at the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party, aimless and flustered.* Auburn got jumped all over, made one of the best comebacks we will see all year and fumbled it away. Twice. That leaves us with what will probably be the best game all season, which we will get to shortly. However, there are other games with varying levels of importance that we must talk about first.

South Carolina v Florida
Why is this game listed first? To me, it's the most interesting game of the week outside of Tuscaloosa. The gamecocks have NFL talent and are terribly mediocre. It's as if Steve Spurrier died and Al Groh is just Weekend at Bernies-ing the old ball coach. Groh would totally luck into Mike Bobo forgetting he had Todd Gurley and then lose to Kentucky.

As for the Gators, they are at full Muschamp. If you watched taped games of the 2014 Gators, one would assume they were all from different coaching eras. Zook against UK (3 OT win, making the easy one look really hard), Spurrier versus the Vols (who else enjoys beating them more?) and Urban versus the Dawgs. What era will we see against South Carolina? Doug Dickey? Maybe more Zook? Let's go with Spurrier. UF 24, USC 10.

Kentucky v Tennessee
The two worst defenses in the SEC, outside of Nashville, face-off in must wins for both teams. Tennessee needs to win two of its' last three games to gain bowl eligibility. One of those games is versus Missouri. That's not one they can really bank on winning. Kentucky has five wins and two games left, UT and Louisville. While the Cardinals should be weaker with their QB out with an injury, they should have no issue beating their in-state rival. Both teams need this game. However, only one has Josh Dobbs and only one has given up 169 points in the last four games. The latter is Kentucky, the former will be the victor. UT 42, UK 35.

Missouri v Texas A&M
The (other, other) Tigers have the easiest schedule in the SEC this year. They get to play in the weakest SEC East in decades and this is their first game against the west (there other being against Arkansas). Had they not blown a game against Indiana, they would still have a shot at the CFP. Despite getting their doors blown off by UGA and by all statistical measures being a fairly average team. Now, in November, they finally venture west. Against a team who cannot pass against a zone. And a defense who has given up an average of 46.4 points to teams with a pulse ranked teams. Mizzou has a pulse but they shouldn't be anywhere near the top 25. A&M should continue to surprise, despite the bad defense and Kenny Trill's inability to read the defense. This loss will put the SEC race back into Georgia's hands. And with Gurley back, they may just spoil the SEC's chances at their ninth straight trip to the title game and an eighth title in nine years. A&M 48, Mizzou 24

LSU v Arkansas
The Hogs haven't won an SEC game since October 13, 2012, when they beat Kentucky 49 to 7 under John L. Smith. They won two SEC games that season. Meaning, they've gone 2-17 since Bobby Petrino crashed his motorcycle. And while the Hogs are only winless in the league because of the division it plays in, this isn't the weekend where that streak ends. LSU is just too good for the Hogs and Mizzou will be the streak ender. LSU 24, Ark 14.

Auburn v Georgia
As I mentioned earlier, the Tigers are recovering from an absolutely brutal loss. One they managed to fumble away, not once but twice. Georgia on the otherhand is celebrating the return of their best player since Herschel Walker. I like Georgia to win this border war. Afterall, they already blew their shot at a national championship. This is when Richt's teams play their best. UGA 38, AU 35

Mississippi State v Alabama
The SEC needs Alabama need to win this game, both teams to win out and TCU or Baylor to drop a game. It's their only chance of having two teams in the CFP, something the SEC West deserves by just being head-and-shoulders better than everyone else. However, what will likely happen. Alabama loses this weekend,knocking them out of the race. Mississippi State loses to Ole Miss in the Egg Bowl and then lets Todd Gurley run all over them in Atlanta. The SEC would be a victim of its' own awesomeness, cannibalizing itself out of the final four.

Given that grim outlook, I really have no idea what will happen in this game. Alabama has been very hard to read this season. Last week, they waited almost four quarters to decide to play offense against LSU. And if not for a terrible kick-off, they'd be out of the CFP race. Against A&M, they made us all wonder how they ever lost. Eviscerating the Aggies in every facet of the game and making them look more like an FCS squad than a top 25 team. Now, I'm not sure if Kiffin has a little bit of Bobo in him or if Saban really is tempering the offense. But the play-calling seems to avoid the best receiver in football for extended periods of the game. That's a total Bobo move. Get Cooper the GD ball and watch the Tide roll.

As for Mississippi State, at times they seem to be destined for greatness. And others, they seem to be the same old team who sat at the bottom of the SEC almost annually. But they have something Bama doesn't. And it'll sound very cliche but I'm not sure there is any other way to explain it. They have a quarterback in Dak Prescott who just seems to want it more than everyone else. He's got that same aura that Cam Newton and Tim Tebow had before him. With a defense as good as the Bulldogs', you cannot give Dak a chance to win a game. After watching that gif, I'll take the cowbells. MSU 17, Bama 13.

*We [non-Gator fans] should all be thankful for this loss by the Dawgs. That game should all but guarantee Muschamp is back as the head coach in the Swamp next season. That's a win for everyone.

SEC Week 11 Preview

UGA & UF fans at last week's Largest Cocktail Party

UGA vs. UK

After last week's Dia de Muertos implosion against Florida, which saw the Gators rise out of their graves and then watched the Dawgs lie down in those vacated graves, Mark Richt's squad is currently up 21 points on the Wildcats. That said, the red and black deserve no more of our attention at this moment. Plus, zombies are creepy.

SEC Week 10 Preview

Whether you were reared on Rock 'n Roll or Norse mythology, you knew this day would come come. Ragnarok, the end, was always promised. All these potential heroes and gods, from Alabama to Georgia and all those in between, cannot all survive into the next unborn age. They cannot all live to see the Playoff. Some will die tragic, memorable deaths. Others will be vanquished by embarrassment. And other will all but disappear. Welcome to a day long foretold. The end is near.

"If it were my choice, Will, you'd be Florida's head ball coach forever.
I think we've got a good thing going here," Mark Richt at his most sincere

What's it like to witness a college football team score 82 points in a single game? The end of time.

Yesterday, TCU won a game by the score of 82-27. The last time I saw such a score I was playing in a Church Basketball League. I was on the team that scored 27. Our opponents from Mt. Zion or Shiloh something or other dunked all over us. Because it was a Church League, they received technical fouls for every attempted dunk. They must have attempted fifty-something dunks that day because I think we scored all out points from the foul line. It was ridiculous, but it wasn't as ridiculous as what TCU did.

SEC Week 9 Preview

Tired of experts opinions, read on:

The Dogs from Mississippi vs. the Cats from Kentucky

Once upon a time, this match-up would've promised a delightfully competitive football game between the pond scum of their respective divisions. However, Mississippi State is no longer a second rate bulldog. In fact, they may be not only the top bulldawg but the top dawg of the conference. Kentucky, however, is still mostly pond scum. To that point, Kentucky is coming off a 41-3 loss at LSU. They'll be at home today, but that just means there will be friends and family nearby to hug them after another beat down.

SEC Week 6 Preview

In this critical week of SEC play, I'm subbing in for Langston, who had to make the noontime kickoff of the ODU game. So, since some games have begun and others are about to start, let's begin talking some football on a day that really does feel like a true October Saturday:

#6 Aggies v. #12 Bulldogs
This game has already begun, with Mississippi State currently up 28 to 10. The Aggies came into Starkville with an undefeated record, and, prior to last week's overtime win against the Razorbacks, their closest game had been a 24 point victory over South Carolina. If the current score against the Bulldogs holds, the Aggies will be at risk of falling behind in the SEC West; after all, their next two games are against Ole Miss and Alabama.

Non SEC Week Five Preview

Contrary to Langston's thoughts on the matter, there are actually some other games, outside the SEC, worth paying attention to this weekend. While the only game between ranked teams already ended with UCLA kicking the shit out of an Arizona State team that managed to throw for approximately 5,000,000 yards and still lose by 35 at home on Thursday night, here are some other games worth checking out:

SEC Week 5 Preview

We're still a week away from a really good SEC slate. But SEC football is still better than any alternative*.

Jameis Winston is just one of the guys

That's right! I'm Jameis Winston! And always will be. Good morning, good afternoon, and good night!

All in all, Jameis Winston is just one of the guys, just like you and just like me. He just wants to be part of the team regardless of whether he's been suspended for a game or not. For him, it's just about supporting his bros, and the only way to support the bros is in full pads. Plus, maybe coach didn't really mean sit this one out. Maybe when coach said, "Hey, Jameis, we're suspending you for the Clemson game," coach was really talking to that other Jameis. Coach is always so funny. Not to worry, though, Jameis does everything in pads and a helmet. His identity is wrapped up in pads and a helmet. How else was he going to honor the Seminole tribe last night without wearing their authentic warrior gear? So, if you ever see Jameis Winston, just remember, he's just like all of us, only he wears really badass helmets and shoulder pads.

SEC Week 4 Preview

The lone good game of this week's SEC slate was played on Thursday in Manhattan, Kansas. Since my procrastination doesn't have classwork to delay me any longer, it has manifested itself in through my yardwork. The last thing I want to do on a Saturday in the fall is yardwork. After all, the grass and weeds will all be dying soon anyway. That is, unless my neighbor mows his lawn. Then I am obligated, driven by guilt and shame, to mow the yard and pull the weeds. Anyways, due to my procrastination all we have left is a yawn-inducing week of SEC football. Which is weird, because it's the third Saturday of September and the Gators aren't playing Tennessee. Thanks, Obama!* Anyhow, let's get to the games.

Flora-Bama
The Gators continue their Muschamp Goodbye Tour this week in Tuscaloosa. It might be a decent game. But this battle for the panhandle could also get ugly. This same Gator team allowed the Cats to rack up 30 points, 450 total yards and 369 passing yards. Sure, they were okay against the run but that's only because Kentucky didn't have to run to score. The Cats threw three interceptions and the Gators still needed three over-times to put them over the top. Now, every team is capable of having a bad week. But I'm betting it's more of a sign of how Florida is still down and last season was no aberration. They'll need a flawless game this week to beat Alabama, whether it's Blake Sims or Jacob Coker throwing the rock. Alabama 35, Florida 17.

Dogs-Tigers
Dan Mullen has turned Mississippi State into a pretty good squad. They are no longer the pushover where SEC foes automatically penciled in a win when they showed up on the schedule. However, they aren't quite there yet and I'm not sure they'll ever get to the point where you will have to question whether or not they can beat LSU in Death Valley. LSU 27, Mississippi State 14.

Cocks-Dores
There is one final SEC match-up this week and it's merely filler. USC makes the trip to Nashville to play Vandy. No one expected the 'Dores post-Franklin would go into such a quick decline. Whether their backslide was caused by Franklin leaving the cupboard bare or they were winning almost single-handedly fueled by his charisma, it's arbitrary and meaningless at this point. The only thing that matters is the Dores are no longer a threat and the Gamecocks should blow their doors off. USC 42, VU 10.

As for the rest of the SEC, see the gifs below. The SEC brings the funk, and the fury.

It's morphin time!

*Actually, the move to 14 teams ruined any sense of history or rivalries. But hey, at least Vandy sucks again. /shrugs

SEC Week 3 Preview

The SEC moves into its second week of the SEC-G5 Challenge, meaning we have another week filled with yawners, leaving one potentially awesome game and another that should have been an awesome game. First, let's tackle the latter.