Drody's here and "We On"

I met this dude on a school bus, coming back from a track meet in Culpepper, Virginia. We didn't choose to sit together. We had to. We were freshmen on the team and had to take any seat we could get. I didn't know a thing about him, except that at basketball tryouts earlier that year we seemed to be guarding each other every drill. I remember those tryouts for two reasons. The first reason is that I spent a good amount of time afterwards puking my flu-ridden guts out into a toilet. The second reason is that those tryouts are the last time I wore my Rec-Specs. This kid next to me on the bus from Culpepper knew me as Rec-Specs. Our paths crossing once might have been coincidence. Our paths crossing twice might be described as fate. I think the conversation started, "Aren't you [Berndon's] little brother?" and that's how Harry met Lloyd.

During the 2000 Presidential election, Berndon's little brother and Rec-Specs stood outside of the Salem Elementary voting station chanting, "Nadernadernader...Nadernadernader!" not because we really cared if Ralph Nader defeated Al Gore or George W. Bush, but because his name was easier to chant and rhymed with cooler words like "Darth Vader" and "sooner or later."

We stood barechested for soccer games, covered in red paint, yelling trash talk that made weaker competitors want to quit their sports. "Shin splints" hurt. Some might call it obnoxious. Others might call it a movement.

We play football for toilet seats.

We stayed loud all the time. Some people thought we were drunk. Others knew we were just bored.

We tried the gallon challenge three times in my parents' basement, and this kid insisted on using chocolate milk; and when we failed for the third time, we tried a gallon of ice cream.

We have a strange affection for John Legend songs, and I'm not even talking about the good ones. I'm talking about songs where Kanye West raps from the perspective of his penis (how will we ever take him seriously?).

We are as a once famous voice message to Big A stated, "A Tribe of Idiots," and idiots hang onto the past because they don't know how to learn from the future, and I remember this kid on the bus next to me from Culpepper; and I can taste my first night of drunkenness (at Langston's), hear my first freestyle session (we still perform at weddings), and recall all the "so there's this girl" conversations (I feel like I had to include that last part just so people wouldn't think this is a love story between two dudes). This kid, who is the dumbest smart guy I know, the Charlie Brown to my Linus, the Belushi to my Aykroyd, The Beast to my Woverine will soon be posting on here. Read his stuff. Enjoy it. Learn from it, and know his name is Drody, the D R that once stood for "drunk" now stands for "Dr." I hope you got the patience cause "We On."


I figure there's nothing better for a Chicago sports fan than a Chicago anthem by two of Chicago's finest. Congratulations on the engagement, brother.

Who is Stan Yuengling?

If you read our Redskins preview, then you may have noticed we have a new writer here at the LCB, and if you read his article, then you may have picked up on the fact that he is and always has been a Skins fan, with a sick lust for anything Santana Moss does. He is also a Terps fan, born in Maryland and bred in Fredericksburg, currently living in Arlington, but who is Stan Yuengling really? He is more than his geographical ties; I can promise you that, but would you believe me?

Would you believe that he is the unknown variable, the mystery of Einstein's dreams, dressed in the awww shuckness of the Hardy Boys? Would you believe that he once stole mathematical equations from a dwarf, only to get caught and reeled in like a big mouth bass by a trailer park queen? Would you?

Would you believe that he sailed into Cozumel, as if he were Cortez, and conquered the Mayans and Aztecs while wearing a snorkel and one flip flop? Would you?

Would you recognize Stan Yuengling as the living, breathing muse of any role Steve Correl has ever portrayed on film? Would you?

Would you believe that this man never threw up until his junior year of college and that when the magical event did happen, it happened at a bus stop?

Would you believe that he is Batman, predisposed with the ability to disappear into the shadows with the blink of an eye or the turning of a head? Would you?

Would you believe he talks with spirits, staying up into the night conversing with Len Bias and Sean Taylor?


Would you believe that he sleeps with his arms crossed over his chest and would be considered Dracula for the late hours he keeps, except he lives off of Yoo-hoo instead of blood, making him Count Chocula? Would you believe that? Could you believe that?

If you can believe that, then surely you can believe in a man who recognizes the words of Nelly as a testament that God exists and is in constant communication with us?

Is it getting hot in here? I think it is because the LCB is welcoming Stan Yuengling with open arms, so if you believe, then take off all your clothes, especially if you're a lady.

Note from the Editor

Once again we have big news to announce, another great addition to our team of writers. He is a graduate of George Mason University and a current graduate student at the University of Mary Washington. He is a follower of NASCAR and the PGA tour, and will provide great coverage on both. Look out for his work in the next couple days. On behalf of the Lawn Chair Boys, welcome to the staff.

Note from the Editor

We are pleased to announce that we will soon have another contributor joining our staff at the LCB headquarters. He is an alumnus and proud supporter of Virginia Tech. He hails from the South Jersey/Philly area, but resides like the rest of the LCB in Virginia. He brings a passion for hockey and anything to do with the great franchises of Philadelphia. We are proud of our addition and look forward to his work. Look for something from our newest writer in the next couple days. In honor of the newest to join our staff, a video of another Philadelphian who was also relocated.

Big News

I am happy to announce that we have yet another new addition to the Lawn Chair Boys contributing staff. Sometime in the near future he will make his debut. We here at the Lawn Chair Boys Headquarters could not be happier about this, two new writers in the same week. The latest in our staff, a graduate of James Madison University, will bring new loyalties to the site including the Green Bay Packers, anything to do with UGA, the Atlanta Braves, and the San Antonio Spurs. He, also like Berndon, is a devout fan of UNC hoops. He will add satire and wit, that has somehow seemed unattainable to this point. He hopes to have his first post sometime this week, welcome to the LCB Teach.

Intro Post

yo kids.....as the Langstonator promised I'm going to be jumping on here and contributing my random ramblings from time to time. I'm glad my first post comes the day after Brent Barry was a factor in the Spurs trouncing of the Lakers. (I'm told we look alike).

As much of a factor I guess someone can be scoring 6 points with 4 assists. I'm definitely feeling the Hunter S. Thompson comparison, if not for having the same writing skills, but at least for our similar self-destructive personalities. Anyway, I'm out to watch the Cubs-Dodgers game so I can give myself a concussion banging my head on my desk when Alfonso Soriano drops fly balls. I'll probably post some sort of game recap by tomorrow. I also have some ideas for posts in the next couple of days. Most of my stuff is going to be sports-related, but I do have some other ideas floating around my brain that might show up on here.

Attention Sports Fans

New writer coming soon, so keep a look out. We here at the Lawn Chair Boys Headquarters are very excited and expect some added journalistic value with our newest blogger. Our newest contributor, a graduate of University of Mary Washington, is Chicago/DC/ UNC hoops sports addled, so he will cover some teams overlooked by LCB originally. He is also a follower of 90s alt rock(ed note: classic rock) and hip hop so he will add a little bit of flava. He should have a post up in the next couple of days, where he will most likely trump this badly written introduction post. I'm out, Have a safe and happy Memorial Day weekend.