Georgia vs. Arizona St. : a marriage proposal

Last weekend, I missed the last three quarters of the Georgia-South Carolina game because of a wedding. I wasn't all that bummed, however, because I'm actually a pretty big fan of weddings.

In fact, I love weddings and not just because of the movie Wedding Crashers, although that doesn't hurt, but what I really love is seeing the bride and groom on display, like bugs pinned down in a glass case. I like to see their facial expressions as the marriage pin bears down on them. Do they smile at eternity or do they squirm from the pressure?

I also love the anticipation that builds for the reception because throughout the ceremony, I'm really just wondering what drink to order first. This past Saturday I went with Jim Beam and Coke. I'm usually a beer guy, but I decided to spice it up.

But it's not just the bride and groom as lab rats that I enjoy or the Christmas Eve anticipation for an open bar, it's that I think I'm a better person at weddings than I am anywhere else. I feel I was born to celebrate.

At one point, I was dancing with a girl and both her earrings went flying from her lobes. One went to the left, and one went to the right. I caught the one that went to the right in my left hand, and the one that went to the left in my right hand, never losing the beat and not spilling my drink. Yes, I grew a third arm specifically for this occasion because I came prepared, and last Saturday, I was prepared to be a dancing machine. It was my night, and it didn't matter what the band threw at me.

Stevie Wonder...nailed it. "Shout"...on top of it. Frank Sinatra...swung it. I could have danced to a kazoo and an accordian duet last weekend and been on point.

Maybe the steady chain of Jim Beam and Cokes was my Popeye's spinach, my cream and the clear, or maybe it was the relief I got when Langston texted me that Georgia had escaped from South Carolina with a 14-7 victory, intercepting the Gamecocks' final chance to score in the end zone that loosened up my hips and spine. Either way it was a strange coincidence that I received the victory news only a few minutes after the preacher said, "you may now kiss the bride."

Earlier, when I left the hotel, the score of the game was still 0-0, at the end of the first quarter, and Langston sent me a text asking for a prediction. I faked confidence and sent Langston a Georgia 35 South Carolina 17 text. I made the prediction more to calm my own nerves than the fact that I thought it would actually happen. There was no way Georgia was going to put up 35 points with the way their receivers were dropping Stafford's passes, but sometimes, one has to go out on a limb. Sometimes, one has to make a leap of faith. Sometimes, one has to dance.

Sometimes, a fan has to ask, "will you marry me?"

Love does not always travel in a straight line. Georgia started the season number one, and I was preparing one-liners for all the other SEC schools, polishing my tongue like a hunting knife. I was ready to talk some shhhhh...that's right, all of the profane cockiness got quickly muted when Georgia started the season 3-0, but slipped to number three in the polls.

The first two games of the season were like casually talking to a girl at work, slowly getting to know her. There was no pressure in the back and forth discourse; it was Georgia Southern and Troy. South Carolina was the first date, and it went alright; but it's unclear where this relationship is headed now. Relationship might even be too strong of a word because at this point, fate seems to be against this Georgia season's marriage to a national championship, and in turn, this season may not wind up on display, like a bug, in a glass case, in every Georgia fan's memory.

Did I mention the road to the altar is not always a straight line? Did I mention Georgia is 3-0 but sliding in the polls? The stars appear crossed. This season's girl seems too busy. She's infatuated with other suitors. She's playing the field, and she's calling less than she did during the summer. The first date went well--14-7. It wasn't flawless, but everyone left saying they had a good time. Love zigs. Love zags. And there are nights when receivers catch everything, like they have three arms--two that catch earrings and one that steadies the Jim Beam and Coke. But there are also nights when earrings fall and the drinks splatter, making the dance floor a sea of lost pearls.

Georgia dropped some pearls against South Carolina, but the season was not lost. She'll call back. It might not be immediately, but true love is patient and finds ways to occupy the waiting.

This past week I went to work and didn't think of the South Carolina game at all. Tonight, I checked my messages. Nothing. But I know she's calling back tomorrow. Tomorrow she will zig, and I will zag, meeting somewhere in a desert, looking for lost pearls.

Tomorrow, Georgia makes their proposal, and more important than the "yes" or the "no" may be the style points they receive from the voters because apparently, the size of the diamond does matter.

The road to marriage, however, is built on trust and taking one game at a time. In other words, love takes eternity, and diamond rings are built from centuries of pressure, not three weeks of statistics and opinion.

(Georgia wins over Arizona St., but I'm not making any score predictions. Also, congratulations, Jon and Jess. You deserve it.)