Whether you were reared on Rock 'n Roll or Norse mythology, you knew this day would come come. Ragnarok, the end, was always promised. All these potential heroes and gods, from Alabama to Georgia and all those in between, cannot all survive into the next unborn age. They cannot all live to see the Playoff. Some will die tragic, memorable deaths. Others will be vanquished by embarrassment. And other will all but disappear. Welcome to a day long foretold. The end is near.
"If it were my choice, Will, you'd be Florida's head ball coach forever.
I think we've got a good thing going here," Mark Richt at his most sincere
In this critical week of SEC play, I'm subbing in for Langston, who had to make the noontime kickoff of the ODU game. So, since some games have begun and others are about to start, let's begin talking some football on a day that really does feel like a true October Saturday:
#6 Aggies v. #12 Bulldogs
This game has already begun, with Mississippi State currently up 28 to 10. The Aggies came into Starkville with an undefeated record, and, prior to last week's overtime win against the Razorbacks, their closest game had been a 24 point victory over South Carolina. If the current score against the Bulldogs holds, the Aggies will be at risk of falling behind in the SEC West; after all, their next two games are against Ole Miss and Alabama.
The SEC moves into its second week of the SEC-G5 Challenge, meaning we have another week filled with yawners, leaving one potentially awesome game and another that should have been an awesome game. First, let's tackle the latter.
Retribution is a Star Wars film made by UGA wide receiver Christian Conley. I first heard of the film on Clay Travis' siteOutkick the Coverage. The film features cameos from prominent figures in the Georgia program, including running back Todd Gurley and head coach Mark Richt. (In fact, Richt's cameo could be interpreted as a strange bit of commentary on how unaware college coaches are of their players' extracurriculars.) Perhaps, though, what the film sells best, beyond Star Wars and Georgia football, is the Classic City itself. Sanford Stadium is the perfect setting for action, the campus is idyllic, and the city streets made me long with nostalgia for sleepy autumn mornings in the breast of the south. Enjoy:
SEC Tennessee v (5) UGA @ 3:30 on CBS:
Another bad week of games in the SEC. Tyler Wilson and Arkansas travel to Texas A&M, giving the Aggies their first SEC win. John L. Smith is just an awful substitute for Bobby Petrino, even with all the chaos and lack of loyalty the latter can bring. South Carolina plays Kentucky in Lexington. We all know how this ends and it won't be pretty. LSU plays defending CAA champion Towson. Towson has an extremely talented RB in Terrance West. But they have no chance in Baton Rouge. Ole Miss goes to Alabama, moving their SEC record to 0-1. Missou takes on UCF in Orlando. This could actually be worth watching, but neither team is really good enough to enforce it as a must-watch. I like UCF with the upset.
Now, most of those games aren't much worse than this as UT still hasn't been able to build depth neccessary to push the best of the SEC for four quarters. The saving grace is the rivalry. UT leads the series (21-18-2) but UGA has won the last two. To end the streak, UT will need to get a sizable lead before the 4th. With their complete lack of a running game and a questionable secondary, I don't really see the Vols being able to hold a small lead late in the game. With their receiving corps, the Vols always have a chance to get a jump on the competition. However, with Jarvis Jones coming after Bray and Aaron Murray passing against the aforementioned weak secondary, I like UGA in a close one. UGA 20, UT 14.
VA
Nothing to see here, seriously. VT plays Cincinnati at Fed Ex Field. After losing another early-season game against a supposedly lesser opponent, VTs season capsule should almost mirror 3 of the last 4 seasons (save for 2009). UVA hosts unbeaten Louisiana Tech. This is the second game that could have been a good one. But the QB controversy is still unsettled and until it is, they'll struggle. The winless Tribe of W&M play host to the truly awful Georgia State Panthers. Whoever loses this game will go winless. Lastly, the 4th ranked ODU Monarchs and NCAA record-holder Taylor Heinicke play at UofR. The Spiders sit at 3-1, however they haven't been tested this season and are coming off a season where they went winless in the CAA. Until the Spiders beat someone of note, their games won't be of note. JMU, VMI and Liberty all on the bye.
Goliath, being a giant and all, casts a shadow that goes well beyond the walls of a Sunday School room or even the farthest church pew from the pulpit, and like any figure from ancient times, he goes by many names and comes in many forms. The first Goliath I ever met was William Lattimore: he was the fastest kid in the third grade, and despite shooting a basketball like a Mujahideen with a rocket launcher, he never missed. Then there was Quentin Moses who in middle school stood like a Philistine above a bunch of musty-smelling adolescent Hebrews, and the list could go on to include Michael Hudson of Battlefield Middle or Reed Fairchild of Spotsylvania Middle. Different names. Same effect. When coach asked you to guard one of them one on one or you found yourself eye to eye with them across an imaginary yard marker, you knew they were better, that your legs weren't fast enough, that your arms weren't long enough--that you needed the miracle of a slingshot to slay the giant standing before you.
My thoughts going into today's Georgia-Florida game are up at Clay Travis' site Outkick the Coverage.
The above picture is a view my dad and I used to share every fall Saturday, only it was obscured by cigar smoke back in the day.
With a twenty to twelve victory over the Tennessee Vols, Mark Richt notched his one hundredth victory as the head coach of the Georgia Bulldawgs. The first half was a grudge match, a fist fight, one of those moments in the kitchen when you and a loved one can't get the lid off the jar: the score was six to six, both teams having notched just a couple of field goals. It was one of those games that you talk through, sip beer through, find anyway to hide that you're nervous through.
Who else is happy that Hank Williams Jr. lost his job? I am. Not because of what he said (which was just plain stupid and a very weak analogy) but because of how much that song could grate on the ears? I couldn't be happier to know that I will never have to hear that song again or have to relate it to football. I feel the same way about his MNF theme as I do about Faith Hill's Sunday Night Football intro and John Mellencamp's "This is our COOUUUNTRRY." All terrible, all horrendous. If I never heard any of these three songs ever again, I think I would stop going gray and live an extra five years.
Editors Note: This season, on top of the usual SEC picks, we will be
picking the best games on the Virginia D-1 slate. We, as in the LCB, all
spent our formative years in Virginia. So, we probably should have been
doing this all along. SEC Game of the Week UGA v Tennessee @ 7:00 on ESPN 2:
I imagine many of you are asking why this would be the "game of the week" when their are two top-25 SEC match-ups this week (LSU-Florida and Auburn-Arkansas). But after the beating Florida took last week from Alabama, can anyone see Florida beating LSU a week later? Didn't think so. Also, the Auburn-Arkansas is a game for third place behind Bama and LSU in the SEC West. As for UT/UGA, the winner will take a share of the lead in the East with South Carolina (who just benched their QB) and have a chance at their first SEC Championship birth since UT played in 2007, which is ages in this new era of college football.
David Pollack said that Georgia has rebounded nicely and are creeping up on teams since the loss to Boise State. But with a loss to USC (included two TDs by DE Melvin Ingram), a bye week against Coastal Carolina, and sputtering wins over Ole Miss and Mississippi State; I wouldn't start planning a trip to Atlanta in December just yet. Georgia's last two trips to Knoxville ended badly, with losses of 21
and 26. Another loss like that for Richt could spell "pink slip."
Aaron Murray will need to rebound after a terrible game against Miss. State where he
threw 3 picks, completed just 52% of his 25 passes and failed to reach 200
yards.
As I mentioned earlier, the Vols have dominated the Dawgs in K-town in the last two games. However, both were before Kiffin tore the team apart and Derek Dooley came to town. Now, his pants are magical but he'll need to get his teams' running game going to win this game. Tauren Poole leads the team in yards, but is averaging just 76.2 yards per game. If they can't find room for their backs to run, they'll be leaning heavily on the arm on Tyler Bray. Which is nothing new, but without Justin Hunter, he'll need to find another threat to fill the void. Last week it was De'Anthony Arnett grabbing two touchdowns against powderpuff Buffalo.
Expect big games out of Isaiah Crowell, Tyler Bray, and D'aRick Rogers. Expect Bacarri Rambo and Austin Johnson to be everywhere. Expect a close game. Expect a loss for Georgia. Both teams are evenly matched-up, but Georgia lacks the receiving threats that Tennessee has in Da'Rick Rogers and De'Anthony Arnett. UT 38, UGA 35. VA Games of the Week (12) Maine v (6) James Madison @ 3:30:
What a shocker? Another week, another top-25 game for James Madison. Now, FCS is a new thing to me, but I can't imagine a tougher stretch for a team than the one JMU is currently playing. Four straight weeks against ranked opponents and that's leaving out their opening game against UNC. If this is a normal thing for an FCS team, I apologize, but it seems like an incredibly difficult run for any team. What makes this game even harder, they'll be without WR Kerby Long (concussed), S Jakarie Jackson (hammy) and QB Justin Thorpe (sticky-icky), while RB Dae'Quan Scott (shoulder) is expected to see little to no action.
Freshman QB Jace Edwards gets his second start but as long he doesn't turn it over, he will be successful. What JMU needs is a repeat performance from Jauan Latney and
Jordan Anderson who combined for 261 yards last week against a talented, but down, Richmond
squad. Without that, JMU could be in trouble.
This game will come down to the match-up of the CAAs best run defense and running back. JMU has shut down the run all season long, but face their toughest test of the season with Pushaun Brown coming to town. Whoever wins this battle, wins this game.
I'll take JMU for the win, as JMU's defense has been an immovable force. I, also, think the new backfield could end up being the start of something beautiful in Harrisonburg. JMU 20, Maine 10.
Clay Travis is a busy man, running a radio show, launching a website, being a husband, raising two kids, but he managed to find enough time back in the summer for reading over a portfolio that I sent him at Langston's suggestion. He liked some of what he saw, mainly that I love writing about the teams that I root for, and offered me an opportunity to write at his SEC-centered website Outkick the Coverage. I've sent him ideas for articles and columns over the last couple months, and the first one finally made its way onto the site last night. Don't judge it too harshly, just wonder how bad the others must have been that they didn't make the cut.
The cold Gatorade and ice of victory splashed onto Mark Richt's Carthaginian neck with little over a minute to play, but the celebration was met with a harsh glare and the words: "No smiles until there's two zeroes on the clock." The scoreboard read Georgia 30 Georgia Tech 24, but Georgia's coach was not happy before or after time ran out on the game of old fashioned hate; and why would he be? This battle was merely a step along a path; a pass between mountains; a test showing how many travails still lie before this coach and his program.
Even in this victory, the Bulldawgs continued to commit stupid penalties that kept their opponent's drives alive, showed an inability to make key tackles, and an overall inability to stop Georgia Tech's unique rushing offense, and as a result, Mark Richt sounded like a man at his wit's end after the game. Despite being the victor on this lone Saturday, this red and black general recognized that Rome was still not conquered.
This competitive fire and lack of satisfaction with his eighth win over the Yellow Jackets in nine years is exactly why most Georgia fans will continue to support Richt despite a somewhat disappointing season. In his interview directly after the final whistle, one could tell that despite his two underclassmen running backs, Washaun Ealey and Caleb King, rushing for 183 and 166 yards he was not resting on his laurels. Richt did not praise his team's success on the ground Saturday; instead, he sounded like a man who realizes that this team did not play up to his expectations in this game or this season. He sounded like a man with work to do; his mind on the grand timeline of history, while lesser men focus only on the moment. Mark Richt recognizes that last night's victory against his state rival means little if it does not mold these young men into a team capable of winning much more.
Georgia spent the last two seasons as a factor in the BCS race, but this year the team faltered out of the gate, losing to then #9 Oklahoma St., cooling fans' expectations for the season. At the time, the Dawgs' preseason #12 ranking seemed way too high, but then the team rattled off three straight wins against South Carolina, Arkansas, and Arizona St., with Joe Cox looking more than capable of replacing last year's number one pick in the draft Matthew Stafford. Then an unsportsmanlike penalty against AJ Green, in the game against LSU, crushed all that optimism like an aluminum can at a tailgate, and the Tigers beat the Dawgs by a touchdown; and the following week Georgia's defense made Jonathan Crompton of Tennessee look like a first round draft pick, as the Volunteers stormed the Dawgs 45-19. The rest of this season was a story in how inconsistency can derail a season, as the penalties and turnovers in big games continued to mount, costing series, yielding games, losing seasons.
Mark Richt and his staff attempted to curb these problems, devoting extra sessions in practice to fumbling drills and adopting a zero tolerance policy on penalties, but none of that changed the results on the field, and Georgia finished the 2009 regular season 7-5, the most losses in one season since Richt became head coach.
Usually, in college football, a win against a top ten team feels like a huge triumph that keeps a team and its fanbase satisfied until at least the next kickoff, but last night's game appeared to leave Richt anything but satisfied; and that sentiment is contagious. After seeing his response, one could not help but reflect on the intricate details of Georgia's victory: the lead was built while Tech quarterback Josh Nesbitt was out of the game with an injury, the rushing numbers were probably inflated by an injury to Tech's starting defensive tackle, and UGA corner Brandon Boykin committed a pass interference penalty, in the end zone, on third down, setting up Tech's last score, cutting Georgia's lead to six. This victory happened in spite of the same mistakes that plagued Georgia's season all year.
One could dwell on all the previous mentioned circumstances, growing frustrated and depressed in the process, or one could acknowledge that Mark Richt took a team with 77 freshmen and sophomores and won seven games with them, defeating three of the team's major rivals, going 4-4 in America's toughest conference, to finish number three in the SEC East. These tasks were accomplished the year after Georgia's program lost its starting quarterback, starting running back, and most consistent wide receiver to the NFL draft, in a season where the team's best player, AJ Green, did not play in three of the team's final four games. While this team has its flaws and may need to replace its defensive coordinator, Mark Richt kept the team together and weathered the storm.
Now, with an extra month of practice thanks to another Bowl bid, this team is ready to march out of the Gatorade-flavored snow and ice of the Alps and lay siege to the kingdoms and empires of Saban and Meyer. After all, Mark Richt and his armies seek more than a win against the Yellow Jackets--the dream of a championship still alludes these riders of elephants, and these setbacks grow more and more frustrating, causing one to wonder how long the tides of history will allow a team to sit outside the gates of Rome before either the city or the army are razed from the field for good, and, judging from his mood last night, Richt recognizes his difficult position within the crux of college football, the SEC, as a teetering between being the dominant power in the Mediterranean or a scorched field of salt. These next few years will seal the fate on how people remember Mark Richt's tenure.
My Dad works in the Presbyterian Church, and I grew up in the Presbyterian Church, hearing preachers quote Jesus' message that to get into heaven a rich man must drop his riches and become just a man. If you were to look at the nightstand in my room right now, you'd see a copy of The Rig Veda. I read a hymn from its pages every night before I go to bed, and it too warns against seeking material wealth at all costs. In my classroom, I try and teach students that there is merit to learning besides the mark in the grade book or the approval of the teacher, that knowledge and morals are not always quantifiable. Go through my CD collection, and you'll find The Clash, Rage Against the Machine, Pearl Jam, Modest Mouse, etc also warning me against focusing on material wealth. Still, these things that are worth nothing in the long run find a way to mean a hell of a lot--the nothing finds a way to be something, and sometimes, I can't tell the two apart.
I try to live a life that's not in excess, but I've got ever growing collections of music, movies, and clothing; and I know they don't mean much. I know they're not golden tickets. I know they will not accompany me to the next life, and that even in this life they can't keep one from being tired, hungry, or lonely; but after hearing Florida won another BCS (Bowl Championship Scrimmage) championship, I can't help but think how much I want a trophy that doesn't even mean a thing in this life, let alone the next. I want that scrap of mettle, even if I despise it so much I haven't watched a BCS title game in years.
I admit that seeing the Florida Gators win another meaningless trophy makes me bitter, combined with the possibility of my Georgia Bulldogs getting their paws on such a trophy has grown significantly more difficult with the early departures of Matthew Stafford and Knowshon Moreno. Times are dire, downright miserable. Basketball season beckons, but I can't let go of what this college season has shown us. While Obama's election to the highest office in the land should show us anything is possible, a game we play as children has shown us that anything is not possible. Certain institutions are still more powerful than others and with that power they carry more prestige.
The Big Ten, the ACC, the PAC-10, the SEC, the Big 12, and the Big East are social elites, and their teams start every season with a silver spoon in their mouths. Maybe it seems a bit of a reach to say that Obama's accomplishments thus far are undercut by an inept college football system, but hasn't Washington spent the last couple of months bailing out Wall Street, the auto industry, and other big businesses. Isn't the BCS a bailout for the major conferences?
We divide things up in this world. We place things in hierarchies. It starts at an early age. We pick teams on the playground. We alphabetize and assess the value of baseball cards, which are just gum-scented cardboard. None the less, we didn't want to get caught making a trade with a friend that downgraded our own collection. We would never trade a Ken Griffey card for a Cecil Fielder. No seven-year old gives cards away as charity to boost their friend's collection, and tendencies as children carry over into our adult lives. Why would the major conferences give up an automatic payday and a system that gives their teams a leg up, reducing the field of competition to about 66 teams? No one did it as a kid, so why would they do it as an adult?
The Utah Utes went 13-0 and beat several teams from BCS conferences, but they were given no shot at the championship, which leads me to think what do teams like the Utah Utes have in common with the Palestinians. The Utah Utes have a resume that says they should be considered a top notch program, but they've got no shot to even compete for a championship, which must be how the Palestinians feel in their quest for land. Constant humiliation, like having no water and asking permission to take a dump, can make a man do unspeakable things, even if the land is only land, the trophy a trophy, and the black car a black car. The BCS draws a line between all the BCS and non-BCS conferences, and the world draws lines between nations and occupied zones. We drew this line on the playground as kids. Washington has drawn this line with its bailouts, and the world has drawn this line when dealing with Israel and Palestine.
The problem is everything doesn't always stay on its designated side. Sometimes a team from the Mountain West conference goes undefeated and beats up on the team that should have bullied it. Sometimes a Mountain West team does this twice in five seasons. Sometimes the sins of Wall St. spill over and drown Main St. too. Sometimes a nation protecting itself from terrorists becomes a terrorist. Sometimes it's hard to tell where one side of the line ends and where the other begins, like when the ocean meets the sky, and then goals in life become as impossible to reach as the horizon.
The Mountain West conference is the Gaza Strip of college football, so I wish Utah all the luck in the world with trying to prove the BCS is breaking anti-trust laws, just as I wish for a peaceable solution between Palestine and Israel. I'm wishing for lines that better define who deserves what ranking, who deserves blame, and who deserves sympathy. I want to know what is the nothing I really can ignore because it really is nothing, and the something I can appreciate because all it has to do is be. I want a world that makes sense.
The problem is that world doesn't exist. These nothings in life become somethings when we continue to treat people like nothings, and our arts and our sports attempt to embrace us when human arms fail to do so, blurring the line between what is and is not important. We make the the nothing stuff into something stuff by labeling it as not important. By calling anything nothing, one calls anything something, and these labels ripple throughout our world, causing us to ask which is more important, causing us to ask how can a nation that can not agree on fair rules to a game help other countries agree on fair rules to end a war. How do we break the habits we've learned since birth?
We all want something, whether it's love, equal footing, or the recognition of our existence; and we want it, whether we are a non-BCS school, who turns to politicians for a chance at a title, or a civilian with no country, who, unfortunately, turned to a group of terrorists because no one else would acknowledge them.
We all want something. We all want to be on the right side of that line. The problem is, as long as there is a line, there probably is no right or wrong side, just nonsense.
" 'It ain't my fault it's six o'clock in the morning,' "
Today the tandem that was expected to bring UGA back to the top announced they will go pro, declaring for the draft from Athens with the support of the coaches and family behind them. They leave the SEC on their way to make millions, with UGA fans still clamoring for one more year and the rest of the fans of the SEC asking if they need a ride to the airport. I may not have been a UGA fan, but I am fan of these two student-athletes. I became a fan of Knowshon and Stafford, due to one of the worst seasons in UT history. As the scoreboard for my beloved Vols routinely reflected a team that was over matched and lacked desire, I changed my perspective. For most sports I can watch my team lose and there is no feeling of acrimony or antipathy. However when I watch the Vols go through defeat, I get physically ill. I don't know why this happens, but it is a family trait passed down from my father. During this past fall, when the wins were surpassed by losses, I had to change my perspective for the betterment of my physical state.
I changed my attitude by watching the games not as a Vol fan but as a fan of the SEC. This helped me stay in my usual balanced and relaxed state of mind, well that and staying away from Jackon game days. Watching these future all-pros face off on a weekly basis in the biggest games is a joy and it honestly helped me ignore the problems in Knoxville. Throughout the season there were two players that stood out the most. Moreno and Stafford. Watching Moreno run over/ juke tacklers into submission and Stafford lead the offense with a rare air of confidence helped me come to the realization that no matter who wins or loses I will enjoy my Saturdays in the fall. I will do this by reminding myself that even if my beloved team doesn't win at least I'm not a buckeye fan. So thank you Knowshon and Matthew, for helping me to enjoy my Saturdays this past fall. Good luck with your future endeavors.
Georgia trailed 6 -3 at halftime. Matthew Stafford and Knowshon Moreno weren't exactly lighting it up either, which probably made some Georgia fans start to smile about next year. Anyway, in the second half, Georgia outscored Michigan St. 21-6 to win the game. A 21 yard pass from Stafford to Moreno with 3:43 left in the fourth gave the game its final margin, and if this is the last game for #7 and #24, it seems fitting that they were both involved on the play. Right now, Stafford says he's "50-50" on whether to come back to school or not. Scout Inc. lists him as the number two quarterback prospect for this year's draft, and they list Moreno as the number one running back prospect. The number two running back prospect, Javon Ringer, was also featured in this game, wearing green and white. Ringer was held to 47 yards on 20 carries and 1 touchdown. He also had 30 yards receiving.
Now, for a bit of a rant...It's a good thing Georgia and Michigan St. hooked up because America really needed the debate about who was better, the #15 team or the #17 team, settled. This game was extremely meaningful. I didn't watch it. Well, I watched the first half of it, but then I had to drive back to Virginia from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Guess what, there's no manger or baby Jesus in Pennsylvania, just like there's no meaning to this Capitol One Scrimmage. Guess what we listened to on the way from Pennsylvania to the DC area. It wasn't radio coverage of any of the New Year's Day Scrimmages. Four avid sports fans, crammed into a Nissan Sentra, listened to Grupo 5. I didn't know who they were until yesterday, but it just so happens they are the biggest thing in Peru; and I couldn't tell track one from tracks two through twenty. I also don't think this was because of a language barrier. I think it was because every song sounded the same, and you know what, that's just like the Scrimmage season. I can't tell one game from another. One game doesn't mean more than another, unless it helps a team get a higher preseason ranking, and I can't tell one year of scrimmages from any other. If we want to consider the regular season a year long playoff, then maybe we should make it one, meaning as soon as a team loses then they're done playing for the year. Ohio St. would have been done the week they lost to USC, and in turn, USC would have been done when they lost to Oregon St, except Oregon St.'s season would already have been finished because they'd already lost before they played the Trojans. Georgia would have been done the week they lost to Alabama. Michigan St. would have been done the week they lost to California, which was week 1 by the way. Every Sunday we could then have Barry Switzer and Jimmy Johnson on Fox debating what the next week's bracket should be because that's how often we would redo the brackets...every week. Teams wouldn't know who they were playing until Sunday night before Saturday's games. It would be a fantastic system, but instead, we have the Bowl Championship Scrimmages, which for whatever reason insists that the Big Ten doesn't belong playing in the Cul de Sac Division of college football with Northern Iowa, Montana, James Madison, and Richmond.
Congratulations, Georgia on winning the Capitol One Scrimmage. Matthew Stafford and Knowshon Moreno, I hope you come back next year, so maybe we can play in the one real game that's played this time of year, and if not, thanks for the memories and good luck. Still, let's keep yesterday's game against Michigan St. off the record. We finished 9-3, not 10-3, and that's all that matters. Here's My Morning Jacket to spell it out for the idiots who continue to perpetuate this system. Yes, we have to call them idiots. They wouldn't understand any clever insults that actually make a specific conclusion as to why they are idiots...kind of how they seemingly don't understand why a system is needed that determines a specific champion. I can't believe we have seven more of these scrimmages to sit through.
"Sorry Bout The Things That I Had To Say - And I'll Make It Up To You Right Now At The Penny Arcade. In An Open Car Or Wherever You Are - Push Yourself Too Hard And It Might Get Hot. Well I Really Don't Need The Confusion - And You Know I Just Ain't The Type To Get All Wrapped Up In The Illusion Of Doin Something That I Know Ain't Right - Right Right??? You've Got To Want To Re-Arrange And Keep It Off The Record. Off The Record. You've Got To Know That We Will Change And Keep It Off The Record. Off The Record. In A Crowded Room Near The Box Of Boom, To An Artificial Tune, I See You Swoon. Well You Knew All This Would Turn To Mist If Your Idea Wasn't Kissed - Why're You So Pissed? Well I Know You Don't Need The Confusion And I Know You Just Ain't The Type. To Get All Wrapped Up In The Illusion Of Doin Something That You Know Ain't Right - Right Right??? Right Right??? Right Right??? Right Right??? You've Got To Want To Rearrange And Keep It Off The Record. Off The Record. You've Got To Know That We Are Strange And Keep It Off The Record. Off The Record. You've Got To Know That We Will Change And Keep It Off The Record. Off The Record Come On."
First, I would like to say that I in no way confuse the birth of Jesus with football championships, but having seen teams I root for win championships in the past, I know that winning a championship divides a fan's existence into BC and AD, much like the birth of a Savior. All summer and through the early parts of this year's NFL and college seasons I thought this Christmas would be a turning point in how I measure the passing of time. I was wrong.
I thought Georgia would be the SEC champions and preparing for the BCS Championship Game against the likes of Oklahoma or Southern Cal. I thought James Madison's miracle finishes would continue to unfold like a Hollywood movie script, and I thought the Green Bay Packers would be the NFC North champs and have a real shot at making a run in the NFC playoffs. When I was in elementary school, I always thought I'd wake up one Christmas morning and unwrap a Nintendo or Sega Genesis--I never did.
Sonic the Hedgehog never came down the chimney with Santa Claus to collect gold rings, and apparently, neither do my football teams. I guess I should have seen this coming. I can think back to moments before and during the season where the writing was on the wall. The same day I wrote an article about Knowshon Moreno's place in Georgia's running back lineage, I also wrote, in my notebook, an article I planned on posting the week before the annual Georgia-Florida game. The article was basically a list of things I've never seen or never will see. The article made note that I can only remember Georgia defeating Florida on three occassions and that I've never seen Georgia win that game two years in a row. I thought this year would be the year the impossible happened.
I thought the planets had alligned, that the winds had shifted, and that three kings were making their way to Jacksonville, by way of a star. I didn't even post the article I wrote in my notebook, predicting such things, on the blog, for fear that I might disrupt the cogs that preside over miracles, that my post might somehow prevent Gabriel from getting word to Mary.
Also, by the time the Georgia-Florida game rolled around, Georgia had already lost to Alabama and despite a big win at LSU just didn't seem to have that championship quality. A manger was still a manger, and a few words in my notebook became prophecy. I still haven't seen Georgia beat Florida twice in a row, just like I've never seen Tetris blocks fall like snow on Christmas morning. Some things just aren't to be, and sometimes Mary doesn't listen to angels.
James Madison's season was a thing of destiny. The team came back from 21-0 to knock off number one App. St. This win jumped the Dukes to number one in the polls, and they never relinquished the position, continually plucking wins out of the jaws of defeat. I use a cliche here because every JMU game seemed to feature a cliche from Varsity Blues, Friday Night Lights, or Remember the Titans. Games were won on last second punt returns when the opponent should have kicked the ball towards the sideline. Games were won on hail Mary's, as golden S's appeared on purple shirts like fish drawn in the sand or crosses in the sky. Fans felt like Constantine, and these immaculate finishes gave me all the Techno Bowls my childhood never had. Every JMU game I watched at Bailey's in Arlington seemed to feature Bo Jackson and Tim Brown high-fiving in slow motion, but these signs too should have been read like words in King Belshazzar's court.
Madden doomed Techno Bowl. The Superman movies, starring Christopher Reeves, got progressively worse, ending with him fighting a solar-powered version of himself, Louis and Clark was cancelled and didn't even make it to syndication, and even the comic book Superman met Doomsday. James Madison's football team went a whole fall without facing any kryptonite, and then Rodney Landers and his 170.7 quarterback rating went down against Montana with an ankle injury, and JMU's title hopes soon followed suit. Imagine Mario going into a drain pipe and never coming out the other end.
Despite all the drama caused by the Favre fiasco in the offseason, I thought the Packers would rally to still be a threat in the NFC. I don't think I was far off, and here's why: Tampa Bay took the lead for good against the Packers with 2:26 left to play, Atlanta did it with 7:19 to play, Tennessee had to wait until OT, Minnesota didn't take the lead until 2:22 to go in the game, Carolina won with 1:30 left on the clock, Houston kicked a field goal with no time remaining, Jacksonville scored their go ahead points with 1:56 on the clock, and this past week, on Monday Night Football, the Bears won in OT. What hurt most about this Chicago game was the fact that Aaron Rodgers led us down the field for a game-winning field goal by Mason Crosby that got blocked. This team may be the best 5-10 team of all time.
In eight of their ten losses, they led or had a share of the lead deep into the fourth quarter. They put themselves into position week after week to win despite their youth and injuries, and week after week they didn't come away with a victory. They dropped all the hints and made all the inclinations that they wanted a Nintendo for Christmas, but no Nitendo ever came. Each week was a box filled with clothes that one's grandmother picked out. One would pick up the box, always neatly wrapped and feel it sag in the middle from the slacks draped over cardboard. As the box felt like it might give way, one would hear the tissue paper crinkle and know inside this wrapped Macy's box was a turtle neck and some khakis. As the scotch tape was ripped open like busted scar tissue one's brain would begin to scramble and try to answer the question, "how do I pretend I wanted new church clothes when all I wanted was to play Mike Tyson's Punchout?".
The answer was always some confused corkscrew of a smile; an expression that simultaneously suggests one's disappointment and one's awareness of how selfish they are. Christmas should be about family and a celebration of one's faith. Gift-giving is supposed to be about giving, not receiving, but it's hard not to think, "how well does my family really know me if they keep giving me turtleneck sweaters when I only ask for one thing every year and never get it? What's wrong with these people and what's wrong with me?". Then one feels guilty for attaching so much importance to a plastic box full of wires when one knows that those giving the gifts did their best, just as you did when you gave them gifts that they may not have wanted either. Georgia never meant to fail against Alabama, get slaughtered by Florida, or slip up against Georgia Tech. Rodney Landers didn't want to get hurt. James Madison didn't want to run out of time and plays against Montanna. Green Bay hinted that they wanted to win, but were shown that in the NFL it takes a declaration, and a fan has to accept these gifts out of love because that is how they were given.
Mark Richt will continue to build teams capable of threatening for championships. Mickey Matthews will get the Dukes to make more playoff runs. Aaron Rodgers has proved more than capable of leading an NFL team.
There will be other Christmases. There will be other seasons. Afterall, Jesus doesn't make his way to Earth every year, but we still celebrate the one time he did. Moments like that are worth waiting for. They stay in the psyche of a fanbase, and while I never did get my Nintendo, I did get a PS2 one year in college for Christmas; and although I hardly ever play it now, I do wear khakis and sweaters to work every week.
Disappointment is something to be outgrown, like a night inside the lion's den.
In fourth grade, Ms. Mihms, my P.E. teacher, pulled my best friend Matt and I out of the line and told the rest of the class, "we're not going anywhere until these two learn to be quiet." I then asked her, "does the time we were quiet to walk over here count?" Matt then giggled like the Great Bungholio, "yeah, did that count?" We were never quiet. My friends and I have always had an unrelenting and loud relationship, and the ease with which words flow from my mouth can at times wear on the listening prowess and patience of others. I am aware of this, and that's one reason I need the Matt Rauschenberg's in my life. He always gave me as many words as I gave him. Every Beavis deserves a Butthead.
When my family moved from Georgia to Virginia, Matt became James, Andrew, Dan, and then Aisander when I got to college. They are all obnoxiously my friends. This past weekend Dan and I were at a wedding between our friends Drew and Megan (congratulations), and we began freestyling on the dance floor. Later, we freestyled on the bus back to the hotel. None of it was any good, but it was obnoxious: "We get abstract as Coltrane/ get brain like Lil' Wayne/ We're so outside of sane/ they call us insane/ walk like we was maimed/ yeah, laugh at our pimp walk/ yeah, it's all talk/ like rawk chalk jayhawk/ it don't make any sense/ we used to Sprint for ten cents/ now we got a circle of friends/ and they all long distance." Yeah, Ms. Mihms would have kept us on the bus until we got quiet.
I'm going on about how easy words tend to come for me because, at this present time, I have nothing to say on this blog. My two football teams' seasons stand on a precipice. If Georgia and Green Bay were rivers, then the bed they sleep in has led dreams to collect behind the Hoover Dam. The flow of the river stalls, enthusiasm wanes, and I'm waiting for something to blow the dam into pieces. When waiting, words tend to be awkward. Think of the conversations people have between stops on the Metro or between floors on an elevator. These conversations are meaningless, except they spend the time when our friends are long distance and we don't have ten cents worth of time to call them.
Right now, Georgia and Green Bay are between floors and between stops.
Georgia's season seemed somewhat derailed after the Alabama game. The chance to take back the number one ranking was there after USC lost to Oregon St., but the score at halftime read 31-0. Then there was a bye week. Bye weeks offer a lot of time to wait, but I didn't have anything to say. I just listened to the elevator music, read the Metro ads, and stared straight ahead. This past Saturday they defeated Tennessee, but Tennessee just doesn't seem like Tennessee at the moment; so when everyone around Georgia jumped in the polls this week, Georgia held steady at number ten. A long distance call used to be ten cents, and if this week is an indication of anything, then Georgia has some time on its hands to call next season.
Green Bay started the season off 2-0. I was hyped. I would call my Dad, down in Fredericksburg, to talk about how Aaron Rodgers might be the real deal and that he seems ready. Then Dallas showed us that we have no running game and our secondary has too many injuries. We were 2-1, soon to be 2-3, but we did defeat Seattle yesterday. Of course, Seattle isn't Seattle anymore; they're Tennessee, and we're waiting on Aaron Rodgers' shoulder to heal. We don't know where our season is heading. We're just staring ahead of us. We have no small talk to make. We're just hungry; our faces worn like busted up shoes, smelling like tobacco, sweat, and the midnight shift. Our eyes are full of glass, knowing something didn't go as planned at some point, but that points on a map are always relative. Directions always are. #4 is behind us, and the unknown is up ahead; and we all have a different opinion about which is better, the past or the future.
These seasons are at a crossroads. Most people talk when they reach a crossroads. They lay in bed, praying out loud to their God. They meet to have lunch with a friend and bring up their travels casually, asking the friend first, "how are you?" They call up a list of confidants long distance and talk more than ten cents worth because it seems our troubles are getting bigger with time, so we need more time to hash them out on the phone; or we blog, journal, and write.
I just don't feel like I have much to say right now. Green Bay plays Indianapolis next week, and Georgia plays Vanderbilt; but I don't really have much to say about either.
The river's water collects at the dam, and the dam needs to be blown a part. Football games seem more and more like small, insignificant cracks when one watches the stock market and realizes the economy right now is as unstable as nitroglycerin, and that while it is unnatural for a river to wait, it's also extremely dangerous to rush into anything that involves explosions, concrete shattering, and the unleashed power of a river. These kinds of choices require patience, a patience only the homeless and night riders of the Metro possess. The kind of patience that, unfortunately, can lead to indifference, an aimless riding from stop to stop, on a train, thinking one destination is no different than another.
My point is, when you vote this November, vote with a destination in mind, no matter who you happen to be voting for. We need vision, and we need guidance. In the meantime, we have football games, that like long distance communication only requires us to talk and listen.
Go Dawgs! Go Pack! God bless and thanks for all the obnoxious people in my life; they're cocky enough to know who they are.
The score at halftime was 31-0 Alabama. I think that tells the story; there was was a body and there were people to mourn its passing.
We dressed in black, thinking it would intimidate. Instead, we wound up wearing black at a funeral, and the body in the casket was our national championship hopes. It doesn't matter that we outscored 'Bama 30-10 in the second half, that was just the doctor yelling "clear" before attempting to shock the heart of our season back to life. The heart flinched once or twice and then quit responding.
On the flipside, USC lost, Florida lost, LSU and 'Bama have to play one another, and Georgia still has games against Tennessee, #21 Vandy, #5 LSU, #4 Florida, and #15 Auburn. Georgia, despite dressing up to die last night, will still get a shot at singing its rendition of "Folsom Prison Blues."
The strength of the SEC is that it offers a chance at redemption and resurrection.
This post will either be brief or turn into a rambling tirade that goes on forever....
First, I am extremely excited about tonight's game between Georgia and Alabama. Coach Richt has given permission for the blackout, and the game is at night. Imagine the visual, not only will Saban's boys look like they're playing against the eleven UGA players on the field, the players on the sideline, and all the people in Sanford Stadium, but they will appear to be up against the night itself. "Two ships passed in the night," and one got rocked. Georgia wins.
Of course, I am a bit worried that all the experts seem to be picking Georgia. Can a game of this magnitude be that easy of a pick?
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Last weekend, I refereed a flip cup tournament in DC. I got paid fifty bucks to do so, and all my drinks during my time as ref were free; but I did fail to become the Ed Hochuli of flip cup refs. Anyway, after the tournament, I headed to Ballston, in Arlington, where I was meeting other JMU alumnae for their top five showdown with #1 Appalachian St.
Bailey's was full of purple and gold fans. The atmosphere was incredible, like being at Bridgeforth Stadium. The Dukes came back from 21 down to knock off the top team in college football's cul de sac division, a fitting title for this division because the only people who care about it are those who live on it--it leads no where, except to this 25 year old stealing syrup from IHOP.
After a night of football and debauchery, some friends and I wound up at the Ballston IHOP. The time is not important here. I ordered the Country Omelet, stating to the waitress, "since I'm from the country and not the city." I then came up with the genius idea to save my pancakes that came with the omelet for breakfast the next day, but Stan Yuengling doesn't have syrup at his apartment; so I put a whole plastic IHOP bottle of syrup in a styrofoam box of pancakes. I also took the precaution of texting myself the word "pancakes," so I wouldn't forget to eat them the next day. The problem here is I opened this text, thinking someone else had texted me. The next morning I had no reminder or memory of this fantastic treasure I had buried in Stan's fridge because I erased the "X" on my treasure map.
Last night, Stan's over at my place and asks when I'm coming to get my pancakes, which brings up a serious dilemma.
JMU plays Maine tonight around 6. Georgia plays Alabama around 8 or so, but Obama and Biden are speaking in Fredericksburg around 6 I believe; so do I follow my bleeding liberal heart south or my pancake-beer-loving-stomach north?
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People who vote in college football polls should not be allowed to vote come November. Georgia was ranked #1 at the beginning of the year and has won all of their games so far. USC beat a pathetic UVA team the first week of the season and rocketed to number one. All the pundits kept talking about how this UVA team had been to the Gator Bowl and won 9 games last year, but they somehow forgot to mention that UVA's quarterback from last year was kicked out of school and that all of those 9 wins were by an average of 0.0000000124 points. These people need to quit voting on style points, NFL potential, and tradition. Let the teams play, and if stunts like this are going to happen, then either don't have preseason rankings or go to a playoff format.
Further proof of what I'm talking about...
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R.I.P. Paul Newman...I hope to write something proper in the next week....
He was an amazing performer and human being. There is no comparison past or present.
Last weekend, I missed the last three quarters of the Georgia-South Carolina game because of a wedding. I wasn't all that bummed, however, because I'm actually a pretty big fan of weddings.
In fact, I love weddings and not just because of the movie Wedding Crashers, although that doesn't hurt, but what I really love is seeing the bride and groom on display, like bugs pinned down in a glass case. I like to see their facial expressions as the marriage pin bears down on them. Do they smile at eternity or do they squirm from the pressure?
I also love the anticipation that builds for the reception because throughout the ceremony, I'm really just wondering what drink to order first. This past Saturday I went with Jim Beam and Coke. I'm usually a beer guy, but I decided to spice it up.
But it's not just the bride and groom as lab rats that I enjoy or the Christmas Eve anticipation for an open bar, it's that I think I'm a better person at weddings than I am anywhere else. I feel I was born to celebrate.
At one point, I was dancing with a girl and both her earrings went flying from her lobes. One went to the left, and one went to the right. I caught the one that went to the right in my left hand, and the one that went to the left in my right hand, never losing the beat and not spilling my drink. Yes, I grew a third arm specifically for this occasion because I came prepared, and last Saturday, I was prepared to be a dancing machine. It was my night, and it didn't matter what the band threw at me.
Stevie Wonder...nailed it. "Shout"...on top of it. Frank Sinatra...swung it. I could have danced to a kazoo and an accordian duet last weekend and been on point.
Maybe the steady chain of Jim Beam and Cokes was my Popeye's spinach, my cream and the clear, or maybe it was the relief I got when Langston texted me that Georgia had escaped from South Carolina with a 14-7 victory, intercepting the Gamecocks' final chance to score in the end zone that loosened up my hips and spine. Either way it was a strange coincidence that I received the victory news only a few minutes after the preacher said, "you may now kiss the bride."
Earlier, when I left the hotel, the score of the game was still 0-0, at the end of the first quarter, and Langston sent me a text asking for a prediction. I faked confidence and sent Langston a Georgia 35 South Carolina 17 text. I made the prediction more to calm my own nerves than the fact that I thought it would actually happen. There was no way Georgia was going to put up 35 points with the way their receivers were dropping Stafford's passes, but sometimes, one has to go out on a limb. Sometimes, one has to make a leap of faith. Sometimes, one has to dance.
Sometimes, a fan has to ask, "will you marry me?"
Love does not always travel in a straight line. Georgia started the season number one, and I was preparing one-liners for all the other SEC schools, polishing my tongue like a hunting knife. I was ready to talk some shhhhh...that's right, all of the profane cockiness got quickly muted when Georgia started the season 3-0, but slipped to number three in the polls.
The first two games of the season were like casually talking to a girl at work, slowly getting to know her. There was no pressure in the back and forth discourse; it was Georgia Southern and Troy. South Carolina was the first date, and it went alright; but it's unclear where this relationship is headed now. Relationship might even be too strong of a word because at this point, fate seems to be against this Georgia season's marriage to a national championship, and in turn, this season may not wind up on display, like a bug, in a glass case, in every Georgia fan's memory.
Did I mention the road to the altar is not always a straight line? Did I mention Georgia is 3-0 but sliding in the polls? The stars appear crossed. This season's girl seems too busy. She's infatuated with other suitors. She's playing the field, and she's calling less than she did during the summer. The first date went well--14-7. It wasn't flawless, but everyone left saying they had a good time. Love zigs. Love zags. And there are nights when receivers catch everything, like they have three arms--two that catch earrings and one that steadies the Jim Beam and Coke. But there are also nights when earrings fall and the drinks splatter, making the dance floor a sea of lost pearls.
Georgia dropped some pearls against South Carolina, but the season was not lost. She'll call back. It might not be immediately, but true love is patient and finds ways to occupy the waiting.
This past week I went to work and didn't think of the South Carolina game at all. Tonight, I checked my messages. Nothing. But I know she's calling back tomorrow. Tomorrow she will zig, and I will zag, meeting somewhere in a desert, looking for lost pearls.
Tomorrow, Georgia makes their proposal, and more important than the "yes" or the "no" may be the style points they receive from the voters because apparently, the size of the diamond does matter.
The road to marriage, however, is built on trust and taking one game at a time. In other words, love takes eternity, and diamond rings are built from centuries of pressure, not three weeks of statistics and opinion.
(Georgia wins over Arizona St., but I'm not making any score predictions. Also, congratulations, Jon and Jess. You deserve it.)
