Trick or treat in the SEC.

Come as yourself.

The decision not to wear a costume either means an individual is too lame to party or too cool to party. Sometimes being too cool is actually lame, and sometimes being too lame is actually cool. Texas A&M’s season started off well, and then it started going not so well. Alabama bullied them down the stretch, and Ole Miss finished the job with a 23-3 thumping.

The weight of that Southern Cross: The flag came down, so now what?

The Confederate battle flag came down in South Carolina. I was moved. I assume most of the South was, if not the entire nation. I wrote a long form essay on this that I have submitted elsewhere and am awaiting word back on. Still, I don’t know if people outside the South realize how much that flag and Southern iconography is not just part of the Southern landscape but of Southern consciousness. Often viewed as the nation’s tumor in polls and data about poverty, low education, and obesity, the region has carved itself in the image of strange and oppressive gods. This has been both a blessing and a curse. The Drive-by Truckers often sing about this duality, its pride and its shame.

LCB 2013 NCAA Football Predictions

Well, with another college season done, it's never too early to start ranking teams for next year, so without any further ado and after much deliberation, here are our early rankings for next season.

1. Alabama Crimson Tide

Coming off its secon national title, Nick Saban's squad will have to overcome a weak early schedule that includes non-SEC opponents such as little known Virginia Tech.

2. Georgia Bulldogs

UGA will be losing a lot on defense, but they will still feature an amazing tandem of sophmore running backs and got great news when quarterback Aaron Murray announced he would return for his final year of eligibility. However, their biggest challenge, like 'Bama, may be their weak schedule which includes several non-SEC schools, like Clemson and Georgia Tech, who have very little football tradition.

3. Texas A&M Aggies

The Aggies weak schedule (about half their games are against non-SEC schools) should prevent Heisman winner Johnny Manziel from feeling any sort of sophmore slump. In other words, Scoooobiiiieeee Dooooobiiieeeee Dooooooo!!!

4. Florida Gators

If Florida can rebound from an embarrassing bowl loss, it should be able to play well enough in overcoming its weak non-conference schedule that features such second rate schools as Florida State and Miami.

5. LSU Tigers

LSU features a non-conference schedule similar to A&M's which could really hinder them come BCS time. Their Athletic Director should probably work on scheduling every other SEC team on their schedule twice.

6. South Carolina Gamecocks

South Carolina's title hopes probably depend on their ability to beat Clemson by more points than Georgia. If they can do that, then defensive lineman Jadeveon Clowney should be able to carry them against much weaker and lesser known opponents such as North Carolina.

7. Mississippi State Bulldogs

Coming off an 8-5 season, the Bulldogs will have to do their best to overcome a rather weak schedule that sees them playing several non-SEC schools.

8. Vanderbilt Commodores

Coming off a 9-4 campaign and having given its coach an extension, the Commodores should look to build off their success by playing several games against non-SEC schools.

9. Arkansas Razorbacks

Arkansas must hope that it can rebound from a weak 2012 campaign and an even weaker schedule. They will only play Alabama, LSU, Texas A&M, and Mississippi State once apiece.

10. Missouri Tigers

Other than playing Georgia, South Carolina, and Florida once apiece Missouri's schedule is rather weak and could hurt them down the stretch when the computers start deciding who will play whom come Bowl season.

Others Receiving Votes:
Tennesse Volunteers, Kentucky Wildcats, Ole Miss Rebels, Auburn Tigers

Number of the Day: 2 to the 16th Power

The South Carolina Gamecocks won their second College World Series in a row, beating Florida 5 to 2. I caught the last few innings, and never at any point did the outcome see in doubt; the Gators were clearly playing against a stacked deck. In other words, it played out in a way that suggested there was no other way.

LCB Picks: SEC Championship Game

(2) Auburn v (18) South Carolina @ 4:00 on CBS
Langston: It's been a historic week, from the discovery of a massive amount of red dwarf stars (dramatically increasing the chances of finding extraterrestrial life) to the unearthing of a new life form. One would think with developments like these that nothing else would be much of importance, but one would be wrong. There was the guy who ate his cocaine to get out of a minor traffic ticket and Cam Newton's being cleared to play. These are things that matter. Many propose that the NCAA opened the floodgates to latch-ons, hang-arounds, and general slimeballs by clearing Cam Newton to play. Supposedly, they've done this thanks to a lack of damning evidence, even though poppa Newton admitted his intent to milk his sons talents for all he could. He gets off, for now, with a wag of the finger. Mississippi State gets off with a minuscule breakup. I still wonder why all of the question marks surround Newton and not State. Their institution had Kenny Rogers bargaining on their behalf with Cecil Newton? Do you really think they report this to the SEC if Newton signs with State? Fuck and no. But I digress. Cam is cleared and now we can focus on arguably the biggest game in both schools histories.

South Carolina has never won an SEC Championship or played in a BCS bowl, their lone conference championship came in the ACC, in 1969. On the other hand, Auburn has gone undefeated  five times, yet only one of those years ended with an AP National Championship. That was in 1957. This game could turn the tide for the Spurrier era in SC, taking it from underachieving to the most successful in the programs history. Auburn, with a win, would finally get the BCS National Championship bid it earned in 2004 and set up for their first National Championship in the modern-era.

South Carolina's chances lie in the legs of Marcus Lattimore, their true freshman RB. In their three losses, Lattimore didn't touch the ball enough. Against Arkansas he only had 11 carries, as Spurrier tried to keep up with the Hogs pass heavy offense at the same time forgetting that he has maybe the best back in the country. Against Kentucky, he touched the ball 15 times. And in their first loss of the season, against Auburn, he had just 14 carries. After this game, I commented that it's clear Spurrier has no idea what to do with a back as talented as Lattimore and I'm still not sure he knows how to best utilize his star back. Comparatively, in their three wins against ranked teams he carried the ball 40, 23, and 37 times respectively, this includes their biggest win of the season over #1 ranked Alabama. If SC has any shot in this game, Lattimore will have to touch the ball early and often. And even if Spurrier has it figured out, I still don't know if it will be enough.

Cam Newton is a freight train. On every play, you can guarantee every defender keeps one eye on the phenom, and yet he continues to make big plays throughout. And that gives reason enough to like Auburn, they make up for getting robbed in 2004. (Coincidentally, they lost their bid to a team (USC) who ended up getting stripped and could presumably follow in their footsteps.) Nick Fairley will hit Stephen Garcia, maybe even questionably, throughout the game. Spurrier's visor will hit the ground a minimum of three times. And Cam will grow his legend. Auburn 42, SC 34.

LCB SEC Picks: Games Of The Week

(6) Alabama v (10) LSU @ 3:30 on CBS
Teach:These teams don't like each other, but what they may both share is a hatred for Auburn.  Auburn is currently undefeated and poised to win the SEC West; however, Auburn's whole season now lies in the shadows of how they recruited Cam Newton, which makes this game something more than a battle over Nick Saban's reputation as either a devil or an angel: these two teams are now playing for the right to say, "It should have been us.  It would have been us."

Georgia vs. Arizona St. : a marriage proposal

Last weekend, I missed the last three quarters of the Georgia-South Carolina game because of a wedding. I wasn't all that bummed, however, because I'm actually a pretty big fan of weddings.

In fact, I love weddings and not just because of the movie Wedding Crashers, although that doesn't hurt, but what I really love is seeing the bride and groom on display, like bugs pinned down in a glass case. I like to see their facial expressions as the marriage pin bears down on them. Do they smile at eternity or do they squirm from the pressure?

I also love the anticipation that builds for the reception because throughout the ceremony, I'm really just wondering what drink to order first. This past Saturday I went with Jim Beam and Coke. I'm usually a beer guy, but I decided to spice it up.

But it's not just the bride and groom as lab rats that I enjoy or the Christmas Eve anticipation for an open bar, it's that I think I'm a better person at weddings than I am anywhere else. I feel I was born to celebrate.

At one point, I was dancing with a girl and both her earrings went flying from her lobes. One went to the left, and one went to the right. I caught the one that went to the right in my left hand, and the one that went to the left in my right hand, never losing the beat and not spilling my drink. Yes, I grew a third arm specifically for this occasion because I came prepared, and last Saturday, I was prepared to be a dancing machine. It was my night, and it didn't matter what the band threw at me.

Stevie Wonder...nailed it. "Shout"...on top of it. Frank Sinatra...swung it. I could have danced to a kazoo and an accordian duet last weekend and been on point.

Maybe the steady chain of Jim Beam and Cokes was my Popeye's spinach, my cream and the clear, or maybe it was the relief I got when Langston texted me that Georgia had escaped from South Carolina with a 14-7 victory, intercepting the Gamecocks' final chance to score in the end zone that loosened up my hips and spine. Either way it was a strange coincidence that I received the victory news only a few minutes after the preacher said, "you may now kiss the bride."

Earlier, when I left the hotel, the score of the game was still 0-0, at the end of the first quarter, and Langston sent me a text asking for a prediction. I faked confidence and sent Langston a Georgia 35 South Carolina 17 text. I made the prediction more to calm my own nerves than the fact that I thought it would actually happen. There was no way Georgia was going to put up 35 points with the way their receivers were dropping Stafford's passes, but sometimes, one has to go out on a limb. Sometimes, one has to make a leap of faith. Sometimes, one has to dance.

Sometimes, a fan has to ask, "will you marry me?"

Love does not always travel in a straight line. Georgia started the season number one, and I was preparing one-liners for all the other SEC schools, polishing my tongue like a hunting knife. I was ready to talk some shhhhh...that's right, all of the profane cockiness got quickly muted when Georgia started the season 3-0, but slipped to number three in the polls.

The first two games of the season were like casually talking to a girl at work, slowly getting to know her. There was no pressure in the back and forth discourse; it was Georgia Southern and Troy. South Carolina was the first date, and it went alright; but it's unclear where this relationship is headed now. Relationship might even be too strong of a word because at this point, fate seems to be against this Georgia season's marriage to a national championship, and in turn, this season may not wind up on display, like a bug, in a glass case, in every Georgia fan's memory.

Did I mention the road to the altar is not always a straight line? Did I mention Georgia is 3-0 but sliding in the polls? The stars appear crossed. This season's girl seems too busy. She's infatuated with other suitors. She's playing the field, and she's calling less than she did during the summer. The first date went well--14-7. It wasn't flawless, but everyone left saying they had a good time. Love zigs. Love zags. And there are nights when receivers catch everything, like they have three arms--two that catch earrings and one that steadies the Jim Beam and Coke. But there are also nights when earrings fall and the drinks splatter, making the dance floor a sea of lost pearls.

Georgia dropped some pearls against South Carolina, but the season was not lost. She'll call back. It might not be immediately, but true love is patient and finds ways to occupy the waiting.

This past week I went to work and didn't think of the South Carolina game at all. Tonight, I checked my messages. Nothing. But I know she's calling back tomorrow. Tomorrow she will zig, and I will zag, meeting somewhere in a desert, looking for lost pearls.

Tomorrow, Georgia makes their proposal, and more important than the "yes" or the "no" may be the style points they receive from the voters because apparently, the size of the diamond does matter.

The road to marriage, however, is built on trust and taking one game at a time. In other words, love takes eternity, and diamond rings are built from centuries of pressure, not three weeks of statistics and opinion.

(Georgia wins over Arizona St., but I'm not making any score predictions. Also, congratulations, Jon and Jess. You deserve it.)