An Angry, Less Sophisticated UNC Rant

To steal from a little Jay-Z diddy entitled "Public Service Announcement," Allow me to reintroduce myself, my name is Brod, B to the Rody. And while i've never moved snowflakes by the oz, I similarly broke the law and paid the price for it. With that sordid chapter now behind me, I can move on with my life and discuss socially relevant topics like college basketball. Namely, the defending champions who are currently defending their championship like a bunch of hyper-active retarded children attempting to play capture the flag. Needless to say, Georgia Tech, Clemson, and fucking UVA, amongst others have taken their turns stealing our sky blue colored flag and are stomping all over it. I had positive aspirations at the beginning of the season, knowing full well that we'd at least make a run at the Sweet 16, but now the NIT seems like a more feasable goal. In closing, I would like to call out, question, or simply wonder what is going on with 5 Tarheels that have let the Carolina nation down.

1. Marcus Ginyard: The glue guy/defensive stopper has been a turnover machine, and has not been anything near the stabilizing force that a 5th year Senior should be on a team loaded with underclassmen. While he is playing hurt, Ginyard has disappointed by allowing countless blown leads and sloppy basketball to continue on his watch. Ginyard and Thompson have been there through the glory years, and one of them needs to draw a line in the sand and say enough is enough. We will get this defensive stop, we will get this loose ball, because that's what winning teams do.

2. Will Graves: Teach gave us an extensive pyschological profile in a previous article about Mr.Graves, so all I can say is that he's the only legitimate perimeter threat, so why isn't he getting more looks? I've been saying since the beginning of the season that he needs to emerge as the main offensive weapon, yet he still disappears for large segments of the game.

3. Dexter and Larry: One supposedly plays too fast, the other doesn't look to run enough. Which means if Roy could somehow magically combine them into one uber-hybrid point guard.....they still wouldn't be as good as Ty Lawson. Drew has great assist numbers, but kills the boys in blue with inopportune turnovers. Neither can consistently shoot, nor run a team efficiently.

4. John Henson: The much ballyhooed McDonald's All-American has been putrid. He's only 30 pounds bigger than me, and I'm a robust 5'10 160!!! He's fucking 6'10 190..... Suffice to say rebounding and banging inside are out of the question against the Lawal's and Aminu's of the world. So he brings about 1 block and 2 points a game into the fold. Way to earn that scholarship John boy.

5. Ed Davis: Yes superstar, I'm even going to call you out. Despite also being injured, Sam Perkins Jr. has also been a disappointment as of late. The boards and blocks are still there, but with all this NBA buzz (slated to go 9th in the first round of the latest mock on nbadraft.net), tell me how he's going to score in the Association if he can't lead a bad Tarheel team in scoring. He has no low-post game to speak of, and with the injury, looks tentative and scared.

Despite these countless flaws, I still predict Roy's boys to make a deep run in the ACC tourney, and will win at least one game in the dance. Bill Simmons talks about there being a 5 year grace period where fans cannot get angry until 5 years after winning a championship, so I probably need to take a deep breath. We're in a rebuilding year, but champions don't rebuild, they reload. Carolina better get a different firearm however, because the trigger is stuck. Only 9 more months until the Harrison Barnes era begins. At this point, the only way we beat Duke is if the Wear brothers challenge the Plumlee brothers to a steal cage match or possibly a pie eating contest. Because on the basketball court, it may not happen this year.

photos via Inside Carolina