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Exploring the NBA Lockout: Amar'e De Leon Looks for the Fountain of Youth

August 11, 2011

As more NBA players flirt with the idea of basketball overseas, here is an account of Amar'e De Leon's wanderings:




The entire voyage Amar'e De Leon's crew wondered about his background, asking questions about whether he was a commoner or a noble, whether he was a man of faith or just a man of means. Some believed the journey was worth it; some believed it was a waste of time; all of them knew it was result of Amar'e De Leon having nothing else to do, one war done, another not starting. What else does a soldier have to do but to sail in search of something to conquer? That part of Amar'e's story made sense to the men, even if most of the man's life was full of blanks.

Storms came. Storms went. Some men questioned whether or not to sail ahead of Columbus' ship, while others said better to go behind--you know, just in case the earth is flat. When Amar'e De Leon did arrive in the New World, he found it to be very much like the old one--there was nothing to do. He governed, he ruled, he took land, gave it out, but mostly his face just grew old. His skin tightened in some places--the eyes--and loosened in others--his jaw. Wrinkles cracked across his forehead as if it were land in midst of a drought, inspiring him to wander, leaving a note for the Spanish Crown on his governor's stool:

Sittin' around and shit makes me feel old. Knee's fractured. Eyes are blind. Back's busted. Gone out. Be back later. Hope the Calusa Indians got clubs, maybe some bass will get my heart pumpin'.


Amar'e 


PS Gonna bottle that Fountain of Youth like Gatorade


He was never heard from again.

Artwork by Langston.


-Dwight Howard as Vasco Da Howard
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-Josh Childress as Joshua Childress Colombo

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