Joining me for some sort of conversation about the AFC East
are Christian Langlois and Joe Lederman:
Christian Langlois: Rex
Ryan has gone from the Jets to the Bills, and the Bills signed the guy who
broke the Jets’ QB’s jaw like two days later, so maybe Ryan had gotten to the
guy ahead of time and they had worked out a plan. Maybe that’s how Ryan plans
to win the division, by infiltrating other locker rooms with double agents.
Bryan Harvey: Huh,
if you’re correct, then Rex Ryan is a diabolical genius. In a division that
already features a Cold War head of state in Bill Belichick, Rex Ryan may be
even more awful. Was he working for the Bills the last four years? Did he
intend to go 8-8, 6-10, 8-8, and then 4-12 with the Jets? Did he order the butt
fumble? Can we handle the truth about Rex Ryan? Does his team have a chance
with no real quarterback?
Joe Lederman: The
team might find something at quarterback. They have plenty of options at trying
to find a 25 touchdown and 11 interception guy.
Bryan Harvey: You
think they have someone who can have a touchdown to pick ratio of 2 to 1?
Joe Lederman: I
don’t know. I’m hopeful.
Bryan Harvey: Who
do you think the starter will be?
Joe Lederman: The
starting QB job will come down to Captain Check Down, Matt Cassel, versus
T-Mobile, Tyrod Taylor.
Bryan Harvey: What
about EJ Manuel?
Joseph Lederman: He's
handled himself the best way possible in a very awkward situation. Hopefully
he's increased his trade value so he can make it with another team. But he's
not going to be the starter and they'll keep Cassel as a solid back up in case
Taylor stumbles.
Christian Langlois: When
you have QBs as weak as the Bills have, espionage really might be the only viable
way to succeed.
Bryan Harvey: If
the AFC East really has plunged into Cold War paranoia, then perhaps the Bills
can make up for mediocre leadership at the quarterback position and overblown
rhetoric from their coach with a surplus of stealth spy planes and satellite
technology. In other words, they do potentially have the skillsets of LeSean McCoy,
Percy Harvin, and Sammy Watkins at their disposal.
Joe Lederman: They
also have a defense.
Miami Dolphins
CL: They’re
actually pretty good.
JL: The
offensive line is questionable.
BH: Yeah, but
that hasn’t seemed to slow Ryan Tannehill down during the preseason.
CL: In the
division, they should finish second.
BH: They do
seem poised to turn a corner. Before losing 3 of their last 4 games at the end
of last season, they were 7-5. A 10-6 season was just as easily within reach as
the mediocre 8-8 they ended up with.
JL: Thoughts
on the defense?
BH: Part of me
will miss hatewatching Ndamukong Suh play two times a year against the Packers,
but this division really is the perfect place for him. This is the division of
Belichick. Suh’s after the play stomps and cheap shots seem to share an
affinity with Belichick’s talent for deceit, although the latter is more the
product of shrewd cleverness while the former is the product of infantile
tantrums. In some fashion, playing against Suh twice a year for the rest of his
career may be Tom Brady’s real punishment for Deflate Gate.
 |
| The Maltese Trophy. |
BH: I’ve said
too much about them already. I’ll defer to you guys.
JL: If
anything, Brady’s (for now) suspension should transform the first four weeks
into a war of attrition.
CL: It’s hard
to doubt the Patriots. In Belichick we trust.
BH: I love the
idea of trusting the man that no one else can trust. This really is the stuff
of Crime Noir. Instead of the Lombardi Trophy, the Patriots should have been
given the Maltese Falcon.
CL: Even if
Brady ends up sitting four games, the Patriots will win the division.
BH: Yeah, talk
of their demise always seems premature, like saying the Spurs are too old in
basketball.
CL: Plus, whenever
Brady plays, he’s going to have a chip on his shoulder, and he has weapons to
catch the ball. I also expect Malcolm Butler is going to follow up his Super
Bowl-saving interception with a season that proves he’s just as good as Revis.
BH: In keeping
with the Cold War analogy, if this team finally does crumble, it won’t occur
due to outside forces. It’ll have to happen from within, right? Sometimes I
wonder if a truly unleashed Gronk would act as New England’s Gorbachev.
New York Jets
CL: They have
a new coach and they have Darelle Revis, but it’s hard to take them seriously
when they have a locker room fight that knocks their starting quarterback out
for 6 to 10 weeks.
JL:
Ryan
Fitzpatrick.
BH:
Yeah,
I think we’re done here.
Bryan Harvey tweets @LawnChairBoys. Christian Langlois
coaches and teaches in Massachusetts. Joe Lederman is a counseling director in
Virginia, outside DC.
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