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A conversation about the 2015-16 AFC South

September 8, 2015

The following discussion previews the AFC South.  Earlier previews include: AFC East, AFC West, NFC East, NFC West

"Seriously? The same helmet every week?!"
Tennessee Titans

Bryan Harvey: We’ve been going in alphabetical order for the most part on these, but if we do that here, who even skims the Tennessee and Jacksonville sections?

Mike Langston: Want a good indication that an organization possesses little hope?

Bryan Harvey: Sure.

Mike Langston: The owner dies and his son takes over as team President and CEO. He then quits after a year to run the family oil business during one of the worst periods in American oil history.

Bryan Harvey: This is sounding like the world’s worst bar jokes.

Mike Langston: He would literally rather deal with the Saudis pricing him out of the market than fixing this dumpster fire.

Bryan Harvey: Titan fans, all five of them, are looking up our addresses right now. Is there anything to say about the team specifically?

Mike Langston: From the bottom of my heart, I feel for Mariota. I really do. He will be playing behind an offensive line comprised of five cardboard Charlie Daniels cutouts. Good luck with that.

Bryan Harvey: You think he’ll miss wearing a different uniform every week?

Jacksonville Jaguars
ML: Blake Bortles owes Gabbert a lot.

BH: That’s funny because most people who watch Gabbert play feel he owes them something.

ML:  His ineptness will allow Bortles to throw 20 TDs and 15 picks a season and become the next $100 million quarterback.

BH: Last week was our first week of school. In one of my blocks is a student who just moved from Jacksonville, Florida to Virginia, outside DC. I asked him if he was happy about the move. He said rather bluntly, no. The one positive attribute of the move was that he preferred having the Washington Redskins be his local team rather than the Jaguars.

ML: Seriously?

BH: Seriously.

ML: Dan Snyder and everything?

BH: Dan Snyder, mascot controversy, RG3, everything.

ML: Well, we could probably stop talking about the Jags then.

BH: We probably could.

ML: Anyways, this team is set up to be pretty dismal. Justin Blackmon decided he would rather not play in the NFL than suit up for them again.

BH: Predictions on the team’s record?

ML: Six wins should be considered a successful season.

BH: Six wins and not having the rest of the roster retire.

"Maybe one of us should play quarterback."
Houston Texans

BH: The window for this team may have closed quicker than any window for any contender ever. I’m not sure the window was ever really open. If so, the screen was still down.

ML: They just missed the playoffs last year. They’ll probably miss them again this season.

BH: This has been a depressing division to discuss. We need to focus on looking at the glass half full.

ML: Clowney will only make them better.

BH: That’s good. The optimists will like that.

ML: But of their nine wins last season, seven came against Washington, Oakland, Tennessee, Cleveland and Jacksonville. That may be the least impressive nine win season ever.

BH: We should have stopped at Clowney.

ML: I’m not sure the Houston franchise deserves optimism. You would think after Tony Banks, David Carr, Sage Rosenfels, Ryan Fitzpatrick, and Ryan Mallet that this team would realize the importance of the QB position. But they went and signed Hoyer.

BH: We should probably mention J.J. Watt here.

ML: He’s positive he won’t test positive.

BH: Yeah, I guess that’s almost a double negative.

ML: I will give Houston credit. They have what could be far-and-away the best front line in the league with Watt, Clowney, and Wilfork.

BH: But we don’t think it will be enough.

ML: It's hard to overcome mediocre QB play, and they have that in spades.

The once and future lumberjack.
Indianapolis Colts

BH: If you’re skimming, this is probably all you need to read. They’re far and away the best team in the division.

ML: Yeah, this team will roll through the division, as long as Luck can survive sneak attacks in the AFC South.

BH: The real question is what happens in the playoffs, isn’t it? They looked to make a leap against Denver last season, only to regress against the Patriots in the AFC Championship game, and whether or not the balls were inflated or deflated mattered very little.

ML: I think they'll lose in the playoffs thanks to their awful division not preparing them for better competition.

BH: You don’t think four games against Tennessee and Jacksonville is a crucible?

ML: Are you even reading this preview?

BH: Not really. After all, this is the most predictable division in football.

ML: The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Mike Langston tweets @LangstonLCB. Bryan Harvey tweets @LawnChairBoys.


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