Fries & Ketchup: Andy Murray is Birdman, the Plight of Kurt Warner, Etc.

I'm about two weeks into the last semester of my graduate program. It's been fun, but my house is currently filled with the scent of old library books, the kind no one opens. In short, things are busy, isolated, and boring. This post is how I've been procrastinating, converting busy into busier, isolation into desolation, and boredom into ennui. On that positive note, let us continue:

Did you know Andy Murray can blow shit up with his mind?

LCBInsider: Unfounded Rumors

--The Minnesota Vikings are interested in Phoenix Suns forward Amare Stoudamire.

--The secrets of Matt Leinhart's NFL career will be revealed through a series of flashbacks and flash forwards on the last season of Lost; apparently, Leinhart's character suffers at the hands of a smoke monster that appears to him in the form of Kurt Warner.


--Bilas: Breaks down the late night television turmoil at NBC...it all comes down to chin length.

--Brett Favre will retire in order to audition for American Idol.

--Rick Barry voted in as a starter for this year's All-Star Game.

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NFC Championship Game Preview: Philadelphia Eagles at the Arizona Cardinals

Next Sunday, Fox will premier The Bucket List, starring Kurt Warner and Donovan McNabb.  




1) Avoid being traded
2) Don't get injured this year
3) Prevent frat boy drafted by franchise from taking starting job
4) Read playbook more than Bible this year
5) Quit fumbling when defensive linemen breathe on me

6) Wear gloves to help with #5
7) Prove I'm not a system quarter back
8) Get benched during season because it adds drama
9) Almost get coach fired
10) Remember how Mike Martz tried to murder me
11) Avoid playing a home game the entire playoffs
12) Win a game on the East coast
13) Make phone call from Giants sideline, resulting in an unsportsmanlike penalty, so people don't get too caught up in thinking I'm a good leader
14) Remember Larry Fitzgerald is Peter Parker
15) Dust off the Edge because it might still be sharp enough to cut up defenses
16) Don't do what Jake Delhomme just did
17) Make sure Brian Westbrook is healthy
18) Pray for Anquan Boldin's hamstring
19) After beating Giants, show that I'm human by holding back emotions just enough not to cry but just enough to gain the fans' sympathy
20) Win NFC Championship game
21) Win Super Bowl

22) Ride off into the sunset