Tampa Bay, Obama, and Doritos: An Interview with Josh Spilker

Since Thanksgiving I feel like all I've read are high school research papers, in class writing prompts, exam essays, and high school research papers, and the only conclusion I've come to about the grading process is that teenagers write in dog years: every page read about lowering the drinking age is the equivalent of seven pages by anyone else. However, this post is not about high school papers; sometime in between grading shifts I interviewed writer Josh Spilker about his book Ambient Florida Position, which can be found here. The following are excerpts from the conversation: 


Me: What sparked the idea for the book?

Josh: I actually set out to write a story about Detroit [the book takes place in Tampa].

The Amazingly Awful: A Response to the Vanderbilt Basketball Team Thus Far

Editor's Note: The Vanderbilt men’s basketball team began the season ranked as the #7 team
in the country and were mentioned in the same breath for the first time ever with contending teams like North Carolina, Kentucky and Ohio State. The Vanderbilt Commodores are now 6-3, and have lost two games in a row to ranked opponents (Xavier and Lousville), not to mention one game to an unranked opponent (Cleveland State).


Josh Spilker, the author of the piece below, is somewhat concerned about Vanderbilt basketball considering more “tough” nonconference games still must be played (Marquette) as well as “tough” conference games (2x Kentucky/ Florida, 1x Alabama). Due to these circumstances, he is left to wonder about the value of his Vanderbilt season tickets.

When Belief Becomes Bankable: The Rays Uprising

Carlos Pulido

Josh Spilker is a Tampa Bay Rays fan, and he's written here before about that and other things. He also has a novella out now (digital), which you should definitely check out (hard copy...scroll to bottom), but he's here today to talk about baseball, money, and miracles. Enjoy:

At this dinner meeting with people from church, with a small smoky fire, bratwursts and italian sausage, pumpkin bread, it was fall, near the end of September and the whispers of October hum on the horizon. Things turn inside and then wrap up, and the St. Louis Cardinal fan/homeowner turns on the television. St. Louis taking care of business, Braves stumbling, Boston in a rain delay and the Rays left for dead. A Red Sox fan looks at the TV-- “Call the game,” he says and “Yankees killing the Rays.” There may/

may not have been a high-five and I fell back into a recliner. The recliner sunk and sighed; relieving itself.

LCB Interview With Writer Josh Rank

Deckfight Press has a new release out: Josh Rank's I'm Here Right?. Josh originates from Wisconsin, I believe, and wrote these essays/stories while living in Atlanta. They mostly seem to deal with a concoction of where public and private spheres meet, the divisions, the violence, the ramifications, consequences, etc. He also runs/writes/operates the blog These Things I Know. The following is my interview with him:

The Summer is for Ice Cream

This past weekend my fiancee and I picked a wedding venue and a date, but we also took her parents to a Super Target because her mom traveled to Virginia with a bag full of New England sweaters, only to find that Spring and Summer creep into the Old Dominion much sooner. Summer is here, if and when the rain stops, and if that terrible anecdote doesn't convince you, then the above video by Battles should. For a full review of their upcoming album head over to Deckfight.

Everything That Dunks Must Converge: Act One

LCB's first publishing endeavor is underway by way of Deckfight Press.
In it you will find a collection of NBA inspired vignettes and short stories.

The Passing of Carl Crawford: A Retrospective

Josh Spilker has been here before, writing about the Vandy pipeline that gushes onto Soldier Field, basketball vignettes, and SEC picks. He also is the proprietor of the indie music blog Deckfight and writes an indie lit. column for Impose magazine, but all that is neither here nor there because, right now, Josh just needs to contemplate what the loss of Carl Crawford to the Boston Red Sox means to him and his fellow Tampa Bay fans:

Michael Hipster Runoff Beasley

Josh Spilker of Deckfight is back with us to share some words on a man who was booted from the fiesta in Miami before it even got going.  He's crediting the style of the piece to the blog Hipster Runoff, so if you like it, check that out as well.  


Michael Beasley, feels like we barely knew you.

LCB NFL Picks: Super Bowl XLIV

New Orleans Saints vs. Indianapolis Colts @ 6:25 on CBS:
Langston: With every Super Bowl comes various sub-plots used to fill the time between the Conference Championships and the big game, this year is no different. If you have watched more than a minute of ESPN, you'll have heard the following far too often: Dwight Freeney has a bum ankle and if he doesn't play the Indianapolis defense will morph into the Cleveland Browns, Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian may or may not get married, Drew Brees rebuilt New Orleans with touchdowns, Peyton Manning needs to win a second Super Bowl to become a great, Peyton Manning grew up in New Orleans and his dad is one of the few greats in Saints history (aka Who will Archie root for? ), Gregg Williams should be more careful about what he says, and numerous others.

LCB Picks: BCS National Championship

#2 Texas Longhorns vs. #1 Alabama Crimson Tide @ 8:00 on ABC
Teach: I firmly believe Alabama is the better team, and I firmly believe that after Thursday everyone will recognize that. I also believe that declaring them national champions is as frivolous as giving out an Oscar. In fact, the presentation of the Sears Trophy will probably look a lot like the moment when America fell in love with Cuba Gooding, Jr. Here's to hoping Ingram's future in the NFL doesn't turn into Snow Dogs. Would Jerry Maguire sequel even revive Cuba's career at this point? Anyway, Alabama is like a young Cuba going into this one, as long as they wear a helmet, on Thursday, everything should be as awesome as a "woodie in the sweats" or one's grandma walking in on them with a meat cleaver. Yeah, I love the BCS.

Langston: I have to admit that conference allegiances won't allow me to pick against the mighty SEC. Since I'm not a lazy loyalist, here are a couple stats to back myself up: 

• The SEC is 5-0 in the BCS title game (including the last 3), and have won each game by at least 7 points. The Big 12 is 2-5 in the BCS title game, good for the most appearances in the game but the worst winning percentage. Obviously, none of these facts carry much weight in the game tonight, but history has the tendency to repeat itself.
• Alabama has gone over 200 yards rushing a remarkable nine times this season. Against Florida and Virginia Tech (two top-tier defenses), Alabama rushed for 251 and 268 yards respectively.
• Alabama faced 5 ranked opponents in VT, LSU, Ole Miss, South Carolina, and Florida. They won each game by at least 9 points. Texas faced 3 ranked opponents in Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, and Nebraska. Two of those games were decided by 3 points or less. Also, when they played Oklahoma, the Sooners best players (Bradford and Gresham) weren't in the lineup, and they needed phantom seconds to be put on the clock to beat Nebraska. 
• Texas' QB Colt McCoy is the winningest QB in college history with a 45-7 record, but Alabama QB Greg McElroy hasn't lost a game as a starter in college or high school.

I could have manipulated the numbers to make either team look like the favorite in this match-up. But as I said before, my loyalties to the SEC's dominance won't allow me to do that. So I'll just leave you with this; Alabama is the Crimson Tide. Call Texas, Deacon Blues.

LCB Picks: 2009 SEC Championship Game

#1 Florida Gators vs. #2 Alabama Crimson Tide @ on 4:00 CBS:

Langston: What is a Tennessee fan supposed to do? Who do we root for? Who do we boo harder? The two biggest rivals of UT are showcasing their NFL talent in a battle for the SEC trophy, a game that will vault one of the teams into the BCS title game. On one hand, you have Florida. Winners of three national championships, with two coming in the past three years. On the other, you have Alabama. Winners of twelve national titles, with the last coming in 1992. So do I root for the Gators to stop Alabama's rebirth as a perrenial power? Or do I root for Alabama to stop Florida from having the best four years of a college program? It's a conflicting position to be in, so I'll just avoid those questions altogether and try to enjoy this game for what it is: a match-up of two great college football teams and probably the best game of the year. I'll take Florida by 10, because Tebow is the truth.

Teach: Deckfight explores the topic in more detail down below, but this game is not just for the SEC title or a bid in a national title game. This game may actually decide whether people consider Tim Tebow the greatest college player of all-time or not. Personally, the idea scares me. I have trouble buying into the idea he's the best ever. Maybe I struggle with the statement because I'm now older than college athletes and feel slightly foolish for buying into the mythology of someone younger than myself, like a Jew living under Caesar who finds it hard to believe in Christ. I'm skeptical to say the least. Or, maybe I struggle with the statement because Tebow doesn't play his position like anyone we've seen. Other great running quarterbacks, like Michael Vick or Tommie Frazier, dazzled us with their speed and allusiveness, and Vick most definitely had a cannon for an arm. Charlie Ward was elusive and saw the field as if he had a fly's compound eyes. But Tebow runs like a fullback, throws like a softball player, and never appears to see 360 degrees of angles at a time. Still, he's effective, and he's the main reason Florida is in this game.

I picked against Florida and Alabama once this year. I picked LSU to beat both of them, and each wound up escaping the Bayou Bengals by the hair of their chinny chin chins. Whichever team wins this game will find itself living out a fairy tale. If Florida wins, Tebow, true or not, will be hailed as the greatest ever. If 'Bama wins, then Saban looks more and more like the handsome Prince, riding in on his gallant steed, to awaken a sleeping program, and Mark Ingram inches closer to being the Tide's first Heisman winner. No matter the result this game will change the mythology of college football.

The funny thing about all the coverage of this game, however, is that while Tebow's legacy, Ingram's Heisman candidacy, Greg McElroy's weaknesses, and Julio Jones's pro prospects have garnered most of the attention, this game will most likely be a defensive grudge match, which makes the absence of Florida's Carlos Dunlap a huge loss for the Gators. His absence gives one the feeling that the Gators are walking into a gun fight with only a knife. Alabama pulls out the victory 16 to 14, in a college version of a Pittsburgh-Baltimore slugfest.

Deckfight:

An unlikely defense of Tim Tebow

Somehow Tim Tebow has turned into Kobe Bryant. Both are now generally considered to be above awards. Kobe only has one MVP, though many will consider him to be a more dominant player than Tim Duncan and Steve Nash or even Karl Malone, all whom have two MVP awards. Everyone on the radio, in blogs, in mags generally now considers Tim Tebow to be the greatest college football player ever, but only has the Heisman in what many considered a fluke year. He wasn't supposed to win it as a sophomore, he was supposed to win it last year or this year. How he is not a front-runner this year, on a team that has won 18 straight and maintained the number one position in the polls all year is just a matter of self-deception. No one wants to support the front-runner now, everyone assumes someone else will vote for him, but instead it will probably go to some random guy from Boise St., Cincinatti, or TCU (no, actually it'll probably go to Colt McCoy). Part of this is that now everyone takes Tim Tebow for granted. He once shared time with Chris Leak of all people. The national public was more familiar with Tim Tebow than they were with Obama back in 2006. This guy has been everywhere for so long, that no one cares anymore. I think Bill Simmons has some type of "he's so over-rated he's now underrated scale" or something like that, and Tebow is now #1 on that spectrum.

It doesn't matter to me if Tebow will "succeed at the next level." Most Heisman-winning running quarterbacks don't. But come on, to say that this guy is the greatest college football player ever and then to deny him the Heisman for a mini-accomplished running back like Mark Ingram or for a Texas quarterback so stereotypical that it seems like Friday Night Lights (J.D. McCoy, anyone?) is mirrored on his life is ludicrous. For the first time in my life, I will be cheering for Florida in this game. I would love to see a Boise St.--TCU title game as much as the next person, but this is it right here. I will say it unequivocally: I want Florida to win and for Tebow to win the Heisman. That said, I hate Florida. Always have. I went to another SEC school. My wife went to UGA. I almost went to Florida State. But, come on, what's fair is fair.

LCB Picks: SEC Games of the Week

Alabama vs. Auburn @ 2:30 on CBS:
Langston: The Iron Bowl is one of the best rivalries in the land, and for the first time since 2002 there is a lot on the line; A national championship appearance and a whole lot of awards for both Mark Ingrham and Terrence Cody. But as we all know, this game, is more important for the bragging rights in the state of Alabam.Coaches with great records have been fired for not winning this game. Coaches have become legends for winning this game year-in and out for years. This is the game, where if the team stinks but stills wins the Iron Bowl, the season is deemed a success. Alabama has won 23 straight regular season games, but they haven't won the Iron Bowl in succession since 1988-89. Auburn has held the upper hand in this series for the better part of the past decade, but they are unranked and going against the number one team in the land. I'll take Bama winning big, making Auburn and their fans question if Chizik really is the right man for the job. Bama 38, Aubrun 21.

Teach: I went against 'Bama once all year, in the LSU game, and SEC officials broke into LCB headquarters as if it were Watergate just to spite me. I don't know if that analogy made much sense, but a lot of calls in the conference this year have left coaches, fans, and players scratching their heads. Auburn will be scratching their heads this weekend as they ponder how quickly the tables in this rivalry have turned (last year 'Bama broke a 6 year drought in the Iron Bowl with a 36-0 victory) with the hiring of Saban by the Crimson Tide and the "resigning" of Tuberville from the Tigers. Alabama wins 28 to 20, with Auburn's extra week to prepare the only thing keeping the game that close.

Florida State vs. Florida @ 3:30 on CBS:
Langston: It was not long ago that Florida played second fiddle to the Noles. The tables have definitely turned in this battle of the Sunshine State. The Gators have won 6 straight in the series, with two national championships along the way. While the Noles, have had trouble just staying bowl eligible. If Florida wins, they keep their shot at their third BCS National Title. If Florida State wins, Bobby Bowden may not be forced to retire. I'll take the boosters having to tell Bobby it's time. Florida 35, State 24.

Teach: I remember when this game was the marquee matchup, not just of the weekend, but of the entire football season. Those days are no longer with us. This game is now a "maybe the 'Noles can just keep it close" matchup, with Bobby Bowden doing his best impression of Colonel Aureliano Buendia from One Hundred Years of Solitude. Seriously, I think Bowden just sits locked in his office all day making his old championship rings into little gold fishes. The Gators win their sixth in a row in this series 35 to 17.

Tennessee vs. Kentucky @ 7:00 on ESPNU:
Langston: The Border Battle or the Battle for the Beer Barrell, hasn't been so much a battle as it has been a demolishing of UK. Tennessee has won twenty-four straight in the series, with only a couple close games in the twenty plus years. This lopsided series has led to becoming the lowest attended game by Vol fans, with a little help from Thanksgiving break. It was once a heated rivalry for both sides, and has turned into a statement game for Kentucky. One they fail, year-in and out, to make. I'll take the Volunteers making this season look a lot prettier on paper, with a 28-14 victory.

Teach: Does this game have a title? Isn't it something like the Bourbon Bowl? I know both of these teams made me drink plenty of Jim Beam, as they are both responsible for the most demoralizing moments of this year's Georgia season. This game bears watching simply because it's a game that should be a bigger rivalry than it actually is, and this year the game actually has Bowl implications for both teams. Kentucky can get to eight wins with a victory while UT can even up the two teams' records, at 7-5, with a win. Who do you think a Bowl committee selects to play in their game if both teams are sitting at seven wins a piece? Hmmmmm...they wear orange and their coach doesn't ever shut up...I wonder...who could it be...Kentucky continues to surprise and impress with a 31 to 28 victory.

Georgia vs. Georgia Tech @ 8:00 on ABC/ESPN2:
Langston: I got to see Georgia Tech play earlier this season and it was a thing of beauty, but to be fair they were playing the woeful Virgina Cavaliers. When Paul Johnson came to the Yellow Jackets from Navy, few even noticed the hire, mostly because he wasn't bringing a new offense to the school--he was bringing an old offense that coaches and players have seen since Pop Warner, but he added a wrinkle to the triple option that no one saw coming, the passing game.With Nesbitt finally grasping all elements of the offense, the rambling wreck is rolling again, and it's a thing of beauty. I'll take the Jackets winning this one late in the fourth, with a 24-21 victory.

Teach: When Caleb King scored the game winning touchdown against Auburn, I thought, "okay, we're 6-4 now. We'll beat Kentucky to be 7-4 headed into Atlanta against the Jackets with a chance for an eighth win and to play the role of spoiler." This scenario still felt pretty plausible going into the fourth quarter against UK, and then the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse pulled out their garden shears and clipped the Hedges down to their roots, leaving Sanford Stadium looking like Dresden during World War Two. Okay, maybe that's unnecessary hyperbole, but I was taking this Georgia season in stride until last Saturday, and, now, I'm starting to feel my Ray Goff inferiority complex rear its ugly head again. I never thought the words would come out of my mouth, but no matter how I try to say, "Georgia will win this Saturday," the words come out, "Georgia Tech beats Georgia 24 to 20." It's like a scene from Liar Liar.

LCB Picks: SEC Games of the Week

LSU vs. Ole Miss @ 3:30 on CBS:

Langston: There are only two weeks left in the SEC regular season there also happens to be only two weeks left at my position with the tax department. The ending of both bring a little bit of joy and disappointment. The disappointment coming from the missed opportunities for Tennessee, and the joy coming from the ability to never step foot in that God forsaken building ever again. This timing also brings a slate of lackluster games. Games that looked good at the beginning of the season, that have turned into nothing more than a battle for recruits and bragging rights. This is one of those games. And it just so happens that I have no idea who to take. Every time I pick Ole Miss to win or lose, they do the complete opposite. So I'll go with Ole Miss, because it's just a matter of time before I get one of their games right. Ole Miss 35, LSU 21.

Teach: It's not that I forgot my girlfriend's birthday on Tuesday; it's just that we'd agreed to celebrate it this Friday, so I blew off Tuesday, which was a horribly stupid thing to do and the reason I really don't have much to say about these games because I may not even get to watch any games this weekend. Instead, I'll be baking up holiday pies for an early Thanksgiving with all her holiday friends. The special ingrediants: repentence and (hopefully) forgiveness. I'm going out on a limb because I, personally, need to believe in miracles this weekend and picking Ole Miss 24 to 20. I don't have much to go on here, but Ole Miss winning would give me a beacon of hope in making up for Tuesday's blasphemies.

Kentucky vs. Georgia @ 7:45 on ESPN2:
Langston: Kentucky has managed to win 6 games this season, but only two of those wins have come against SEC opponents and they haven't won more than two in a row all season long. However, this is considered a successful season for the team from Lexington and it should allow Rich Brooks some job security. Georgia has matched the cats with a 6-4 record, all four losses coming against above average opponents, and are coming off a big win against Auburn. However, this has been a largely disappointing season for the team from Athens, placing coordinators Willie Martinez and Mike Bobo on the hot seat. Neither of these scenarios make much sense, but this is the SEC where little does. UK 14, UGA 28.

Teach: Speaking of doghouses, UGA got the front two paws out of the house last week against Auburn, and I look for them to drag out the back paws this Saturday, as they gear up for Georgia Tech. UGA beats UK 27 to 14.

Deckfight Game of the Week
Vandy vs. Tennessee @ 7:00 on ESPNU: Instead of the orange making Kiffin look like a great big pumpkin, he's more akin to a slick Reese's Pieces salesman. But from a Vandy fan's perspective the only relevant question is this: "Wait, what? There's still a season going on?"

UT 21 Vandy 7

LCB Picks: SEC Games of the Week

Florida vs. South Carolina @ 3:30 on CBS:
Langston: USC has had a great season, considering no one outside of Columbia expected much of the team. And a win against Florida would make this a banner year for the Cocks, but it's not happening. Sure the Gator offense has looked pedestrian for the better part of the season and it doesn't look like it's getting any better, but they have Tebow. Who needs a real offensive scheme when you can call Tebow runs all game long. Also Spikes is back, so protect your eyes Cocks. Thanks to those two and the rest of the defense, I like the Gators to win this game, because, they are just plain better. But look on the bright side SC fans, after Saturday, Tebow will never again suit up against the Cocks. Well at least not as a player. UF 21 USC 17

Teach: After looking vulnerable against LSU, Arkansas, and Mississippi St., the Gators looked rejuvenated against UGA and Vandy. I guess those three games of vulnerability were just Tebow's time in the desert being tempted by the Devil. Florida takes care of the Gamecocks 34 to 17, gearing up for their heated in state rivalry with Florida International next week.

Auburn vs. Georgia @ 7:00 on ESPN 2:
Langston: This should be a fun game to watch for any football fan. Why? Because we have no idea what to expect from either team. Throughout the season both teams have been the embodiment of Hekyll and Jekyll, playing like contenders for parts of the season and looking like practice squads the rest. So there really is no telling who will be the victor in this match-up, but I like Georgia winning this thanks to the ginger ninja. UGA 35, 'Burn 31.

Teach: Both of these teams look better coming into this game than they really are. Georgia just beat Tennessee Tech 38-0, and Auburn's coming off a 63-31 victory over Furman, as well as a 33-20 win over Ole Miss. The thing is Auburn dropped their three games before that, and Georgia is still only two weeks removed from an eye-gouging loss to the Gators and has lost three out of their last five. I'd love to see Uga leap up and take a bite out of an Auburn player like the days of old, but that may be too much to ask of the mascot and a quarterback who has looked like a Ginger on South Park in big games. Auburn 31, Georgia 28.

Deckfight's Game of the Week
Kentucky vs. Vanderbilt @ 12:20 on SEC Network:
Usually Kentucky accompanies Vandy in the SEC cellar, but that hasn't happened as much in recent years. Jared Lorenzen must have been the turning point.

This game is at 11:20 central time in Nashville, which means everyone will still be vomiting "Big Blue" out of their system from the night before and no one will be around. This Vandy season is worse than even I imagined, and I'm pretty hardened cynic. Despite that, there's usually one "surprise" per season, and I'm betting this is it, because Lane Kiffin will go out himself to beat Vanderbilt in his first year next week.

Vandy 24 Kentucky 14

LCB Picks: SEC Games of the Week

South Carolina vs. Arkansas @ 12:21 on :
Langston: This is a match-up of two teams who have squashed lesser opponents and struggled against everyone else. Arkansas comes into the game 1-4 in the SEC, with their lone win coming against Auburn. South Carolina comes into the game 3-3 with their lone marquee win coming against a struggling Ole Miss team, and will be trying to rebound after a beatdown at the hands of Tennessee. South Carolina has had a tough time on the road thanks to their stumbling offense and special teams. That's not good news for a team facing the Hogs in Fayetteville, where the home team averages 540 yards per game on offense. I like Arkansas to get their first win against an above average opponent, making USC's 5-1 record seem like ages ago. Arkansas 24, USC 17.

Teach: Axl Rose once sang, "all we need is just a little patience." Well, Bobby Petrino's crew has had to wait through eight games of this football season, observing close calls and glimpses at greatness, with only a .500 record to show for it. This week Arkansas goes above .500 and finally gets a signature win for their 2009 campaign, only the signature win is a lot like Chinese Democracy, dramatically delayed and drastically unsatisfying because, let's face it, a win against South Carolina just doesn't have the same bite as a win against Florida would have had. Arkansas 28, South Carolina 17.

LSU vs. Alabama @ 3:30 on CBS:
Langston: This may be the toughest game to gauge all season in the SEC, and that says a lot considering it is the one conference where the "any given Saturday" cliche is absolutely true. Though I am picking Alabama to win the game, and for more reasons than just Mount Cody. Apart from the UT game, Alabama has won by 14 points or more in each game. LSU has only beat three opponents by more than 14 points. Those opponents; Louisiana-Lafayette, Tulane, and Auburn. Both of these statistics are important because if Alabama takes control early, the game will essentially be over. If LSU gets ahead early, Bama should stay within striking distance throughout giving them and Heisman candidate Mark Ingraham the chance to steal the game at any moment. Bama 42, LSU 28.

Teach: During the first five games of the season, 'Bama's offense was at high tide, scoring over thirty in all of those games, but, in their last three, the tide has started to go out. Alabama has averaged only 18 points in those last three games, bottoming out with a mere 12 points against Tennessee last week. This week against LSU I'm betting on a low tide. The Tigers are rolling right now. Since losing to Florida 13-3, this team has defeated Auburn 31-10 and Tulane 42-0. At some point, Alabama will pay for the play of quarterback Greg McElroy, and that time has come. LSU 17, 'Bama 13. (And somehow I still think 'Bama is the best team in the nation.)

Deckfight's Game of the Week
Vandy vs. Florida @ 7:15 on :

"A fool is wise in his eyes." --King Solomon

Florida 36, Vandy 10

LCB Picks: SEC Games of the Week

Ole Miss vs. Auburn @ 12:21 on SEC Network:
Langston: Auburn has lost three straight games, and the biggest reason is the ability for SEC defenses to evolve during the season. Chris Todd opened up the season playing great football leading them to a 5-0 start, but the SEC defenses picked up on the flaws and in-turn reminded us how bad Todd can play. Ole Miss comes in to this week as winners of the last two, with Jevan Snead finally looking like the QB we expected him to be and the defenses improvements under Tyrone Mix. In this game, I see both streaks continuing. Ole Miss 28, Auburn 17.

Teach: I would like to pick Auburn in this game, but Ole Miss is just playing better. Auburn will have to wait until next week against Furman to halt their slide. Ole Miss 24 Auburn 17

UGA vs. Florida @ 3:30 on CBS:
Langston: Just like Teach does with Tennessee, I become a fan of UGA once a year. It just so happens that this is the week. If I had it my way, the game would end with the Dawgs winning by ninety-eight points, Tebow crying at the 50, and Urban Meyer questioning the SEC officials penalty calls. However the Georgia defense is still being led by Willie Martinez, leaving me no choice but to pick Florida to win. UF 21, UGA 10.

Teach: I don't expect much from this game that I will like. The one silver lining I can find is that after today I will never have to see Tim Tebow line up against my Georgia Bulldawgs ever again. Good riddance. We should stomp and celebrate in the endzone like it's 2007 just because of that. Florida 24 Georgia 14

Deckfight Game of the Week
Georgia Tech vs. Vandy @ 7:30 on SEC Network: Leave it to Vandy to schedule non-conference game against a top 15 opponent. Like the quintuple-threat option isn't pain in the neck enough. The question is instead if Georgia Tech playing Vandy pulls their BCS hopes down. No one seems to realize that the Jackets have one loss, while USC gets all the hype. They're right behind LSU and Oregon. The Rambling Wreck is no joke.
Georgia Tech 23 Vandy 14

Utah Jazz Preview: "Early Sunday"

Josh Spilker of Deckfight gives us the 2010 Jazz. Feel free to add your thoughts in our comments section and check out the other NBA previews we've done so far.

The truck has to be unloaded. Goods, cargo, consumer products, bulk freight. Brown boxes with netting to hold them in place. Pallets draped in a sheet of plastic. Inside the truck, he reaches for a box maneuvering around the pallets. He sometimes uses the forklift when the chance arises, but he doesn't mind the physical labor. It's what got him here in the first place.

"You have the knowledge, the ability, the talent, you can operate it," Brewer tells Paul.

"No, no thanks, sir. I'm happy where I am."

"Paul, I'm your bro, you don't have to call me sir," Brewer responds.

"Sir, yessir," Paul says.

Once Paul and Brewer are out of the way, Carlos fingers the joystick on the forklift with smooth confidence, like Billy Mays behind Donkey Kong controls. In the forklift, Carlos glides to the side of the truck. Up and over, its sleek steel slides underneath a large palette of Thelonius Monk records. "More of these? In Utah?" Boozer mutters. His knit cap fits snug over his glassy head, capturing the easy sweat of this labor. He drops the palette in the middle of the factory floor, the third in a row, so neatly arranged. Many are surprised that Boozer is still here. But he tells them that the money is good, the air is fresh. He is from Alaska, after all.

Down below, Paul has pulled no less than twenty-five boxes off the truck, in five stacks, five boxes high. Ronnie only has two stacks, Deron is doing fine work, three stacks while making time to chat with Carlos and Mehmet, who is also behind his own forklift. Everyone understands that part of Deron's job is to seemingly waste time, to talk with everyone, ask how they're doing, how they're families are going. His job is to know where everyone is at--physically, emotionally, spiritually. Even with these extra sometimes mentally trying duties, he still outpaces Ronnie and most of the other guys on a regular basis.

The P.A. clicks on. "Paul, that's enough, take a seat." The bossman peers out from a window overlooking the factory floor. A tall man with a trucker's hat sits behind him, though Paul can't make out the face. "Andrei, you're in."

Paul raises his right hand while staring up at the cased-in box. "Sir yessir, Mr. Sloan," Paul yells and runs to the breakroom. Andrei is on his way out, yawning with a Snickers bar in his hand. "God, I hate working mornings," Andrei says. "For that matter, I hate working nights too, ha!" And slaps Paul on his back. Andrei jogs to the truck and proceeds to open a box, first lifting individual bottles of detergent out one by one, before moving to another box and lifting out individual bars of Ivory soap. Andrei stacks the bars one on top of another.
"Well, look at that!" Andrei exclaims. He then texts his wife about all his accomplishments at work and in the midst of doing so knocks over the soap with his gangly knee.

"And so much promise," Deron says to Mehmet, jogging over to clean up Andrei's mess.

Back in the breakroom, Paul takes a seat on a hard plastic chair and closes his eyes. Two deep breaths. These fifteen minutes is the only time in his day for meditation, the same prayer and routine that he's done since he was 12. With his eyes still closed, he reaches around to his backpocket and pulls out his wallet. By memory, he flips it open, and his index and thumb split open a hidden pocket. He pulls out the card and opens his eyes. It's a card of man with a beard, in a purple Jazz jersey and short shorts. A loopy "K" and maudlin "M" are all that's decipherable from the signature across the front.

Paul closes his eyes, flips the card over and repeats the stats. With no pause he rattles off 85-86, 87-88. His voice quivers with a great year, 88-89. .519 FG. 10.70 RPG. .88 BPG 27.7 PPG. The card vibrates in his nervous fingers as he begins the the best: 89-90. .562 11.10 RPG .61 BPG 31.0 PPG. If that's not the Holy Spirit then Paul doesn't want to know it. He finishes the remaining years, finding comfort in the rhythmic blur of the numbers. He looks up, sees if he is right. He is, of course he is. Paul knows the bio by heart, because, essentially it is his own. His thumb glosses over the worn veneer of the card. Paul lays the card on the table, and hunches over, tears welling in his eyes. Sometimes the weight is too much.

The phone rings in the breakroom. Paul looks up, knows he's the only one there and picks up.

"Paul." It's the bossman. "Come on up here, there's someone I want you to meet."

"Sir, yessir." He hangs up the receiver.

Paul takes a deep breath. He didn't want to go up there. He preferred to deal with the boss down here, on the floor, where the only thing discussed was proper stacking technique, speed and quizzes about the forklift manual, if there was ever a full-time opening. Which after this summer, seems more and more unlikely. He hoped against hope that things would work out here, here in the anonymous mountains of Utah.

Paul takes another deep breath, turns toward the stairs off the breakroom and jogged the two flights upstairs. He presses the buzzer and is immediately let in. There was bossman Sloan, lounging on a couch. The tall man in the trucker hat seated next to him. They both stand.

"Paul," Sloan says. "This is Karl."

"K-k," Paul stutters.

"That's right, Karl Malone."

"Paul. I've heard a lot about you. It's a pleasure," Karl said reaching for Paul's hand.

The whites of Paul's eyes were large, rotund. His mouth wide open. Paul feels faint.

"Keep working. One day, you'll move up, maybe get your own truck line someday. I know it," Karl continues.

With that, Karl and Sloan can only watch as Paul's body grows lithe and sinks to the ground.

LCB Picks: SEC Games of the Week

Tennessee vs. Alabama @ 3:30 on CBS:
Langston: There are a lot of reasons for someone to pick Bama to win the battle of "The Third Saturday in October"; Ranked #1 in the country, they have the best defense in the country, Mark Ingraham, Crompton, it's being played in Tuscaloosa, etc, etc. However there are a couple reasons for UT fans to believe the Vols actually have a shot at this; Alabama's QB Greg McElroy hasn't been very sharp since his nearly perfect game against Arkansas, having completed just 46 percent of his passes with no touchdowns and two interceptions. The pressure of being ranked number one against UT, something they haven't been since 1980, could cause them to play tight in the opening quarters. They run a pro-style offense. The same style offense UGA employs, and failed to get inside the 30 for the entire game with against UT. So as you can see, there is a smatter of hope for Vol fans. But Bama has Mount Cody, and that man is a force. Plus, I picked against UT in the UGA game, and that turned out pretty well. Bama 24, UT 17

Teach: I have a student named Lance in my 6th period. He's got a solid B right now. He's a die hard Tennessee fan. Dallas, on the other hand, has a solid D, and is a die hard Alabama fan. Whenever he writes his name on an assignment, he follows his John Hancock with the words "Roll Tide Roll," and the Tide will roll this week. I agree with the AP poll; this is the best team in the country, and they'll defeat the Vols 31-17 this week, behind their defense and running game, and it very well could be 'Bama's success on the field that's making it so hard for Dallas to do any homework over the weekend.

Auburn vs. LSU @ 7:30 on ESPN2:
Langston: This is starting to look like the NFL picks, where the best games aren't really that great. Maybe it's because there are only two teams in the SEC that really stand out. Or maybe it's due to the lack of pro caliber QBs currently starting in the SEC. Oh well, the defense and running games are still better than any other conference and once Tebow is gone, it will revert back to being a 6 team race. I like LSU in this game, thanks to Les Miles. Who seems to win all the time, despite his teams' QBs. LSU 34, Auburn 27.

Teach: Auburn started the year off 5-0, and they looked like a possible speed bump for this year's BCS. Then they played some actual teams, and they are now sitting at 5-2, 2-2 in the SEC. They lost by 21 on the road to Arkansas, who should have beaten Florida last week, which is respectable, but then they turned around and lost to Kentucky by a touchdown at home. Auburn isn't great, but they're not terrible either. Chris Todd has thrown 12 touchdowns and only two interceptions, and their starting running back Ben Tate averages 5.7 yard per carry. The problem is these stats have come against mediocre to subpar competition; the team's biggest win is against West Virginia. Meanwhile, LSU has a win at Georgia and only lost to Florida 13-3. LSU also has a defense built better than a New Orleans levy. Maybe that was a bad comparison, but this team has only allowed teams to score over 20 points twice all season. LSU wins 20 to 10, earning the right to call Auburn the Kittens for a second straight year. Meow.

Deckfight Game of the Week
Vanderbilt vs. South Carolina @ 7:00 on ESPNU: Almost forgot about writing this up, because well everyone forgets about Vanderbilt this time of the year, mainly because they're 2-5 and have averaged 7.3 points against SEC teams this year, according to this. The young'uns on a team like South Carolina will not tell the old media guy at the paper that they will not "look past" Vanderbilt, but in fact they will "look past" Vanderbilt. At 5-2, USC still has a decent bowl game to play for, and I'm sure Spurrier has found some "bulletin board material" (do they really still use bulletin boards?) about how Vandy upset the sixth-ranked Gamecocks in 2007. I also liked the Gamecocks better when their quarterback was Smelley, just because I think that's funny. Smelley.

I was at the game last week for a loss to the Bulldogs and it sucked, though I counted a lot of North Face jackets in the crowd and we drank $3 hot chocolate out of styrofoam cups while watching the cars go past on West End and my friend stuffed a Jimmy John's sub in his pants and he made it through the gates unscathed.

I feel like Spurrier will want to put on an exhibition.

USC 42 Vandy 14

LCB Picks: SEC Games of the Week

Arkansas vs. Florida @ 3:30 on CBS:
Langston: Arkansas has their program moving back in the right direction with Mallett and Childs making this a fun to watch offense. However their lack of consistency, defense, and a running game will have a spotlight on it today. With all of those holes, I just don't see Florida losing their ground as National Title contenders. Arkansas 14, Florida 35.

Teach: With Tennessee's victory over Georgia last week, Florida is a lock to win the SEC East. There's no way they stumble against the Razorbacks. Tebow and company continue to show people like myself that rumors of their demise were premature and wishful thinking as they roll to a 31 to 16 victory.

USC vs. Alabama @ 7:45 on ESPN:
Langston: It's pretty telling when Steve Spurrier admits how much of an underdog his team is and if my memory serves me right, this never happened while at Florida. The only way USC even makes this competitive is by keeping it a low scoring affair, which will be tough considering their average running game and the vaunted 3-4 defense of Alabama. USC will also need to make a couple big plays on special teams, which happens to be the biggest weakness for the Tide. But I just don't see it happening. Bama will win this game big, covering the 17 point spread 35 to 10.

Teach: Can we just call this the Satan Bowl and be done with it? Seriously, I fear the very mentioning of either team's coach will cause me to sprout horns, grow a tail, and walk with cloven hooves. Alabama 42 South Carolina 23

Deckfight Game of the Week
UGA vs. Vandy @ 12:21 on SEC Network:
A dude in love with Arkansas asked me if Vandy has a chance at UGA. True, Georgia is having a "down" year. No longer in the Top 25, this means utter failure. Is it A.J Green's problem that Joe Cox is Joe Tereshinski reinvented? I heard the story right before Cox threw that awesome pass to A.J Green against LSU about how he always dreamed of being a Georgia Bulldog. Though that pass was jaw-dropping, it was Green that reeled it in. Everyone has to realize that people who grow up idolizing the program suck for the program. Fans don't make great players. What we're witnessing is the transformation of A.J. Green into Calvin Johnson. A great wide receiver with a lack of a great quarterback--forcing him to make amazing plays.

But Vandy somehow someway plays UGA decent. I was there in 2006 for Vandy's upset at Sanford Stadium. I was there earlier this decade when Vandy led UGA 2-0 at halftime. I was there when ol' Woody Widenhoffer called a fake punt at Vandy's own 2 yard line--setting Georgia up for the win. Which they did. Which they usually do. And I'll be there this weekend in Nashville, telling my wife not to worry, there is no need to get to a Vandy game early--there are always plenty of seats, even for her beloved Bulldogs.

UGA 28 Vandy 10

New Orleans Hornets Preview: "Mansard Roof"

Josh Spilker of Deckfight gives us the 2010 Hornets. Getting these out is quickly becoming a testament of will. Feel free to add your thoughts in our comments section and check out the other NBA previews we've done so far.Carrollton, Magazine, St. Charles. Emeka had always heard of these homes, he never expected to make one of them into his own. Chris had tentatively offered him a place in his building on Poydras and another one in the CBD, some high-rise with multiple penthouses filled with the Saints and Lenny Kravitz. But those were industrial, not comfortable; sterile, not homely. The wine collection would not fit in those apartments, several hundred bottles scattered on a concrete floor. Nothing brought out the wrath of Okafor more than a broken bottle of vintage merlot.

"This one is very nice, very suitable for a man of your size and stature," said Emeka's real estate agent, a sixty-ish woman with short maroon hair, multiple gold rings on her fingers, a flowing yellow dress. They were approaching the front door.

brrrrbrrrr. Emeka checked his phone. A text from his agent. "Not in TPA. Not in B'more 4 sure."

The entryway was small, the stairs immediately on the right, seemingly going nowhere. The dining room had a large oak table, vaulted ceilings, at least 11 feet high.

"And this room, great views of the rolling yard and the manicured gardens," she said.

brrrbrrr. Another text from his agent. "No go in STL. Nothing in Nashville."

Emeka glanced at the yard. The garden, lilacs and tulips. A high fence. All of this was good, but he turned back into the house. The walls, Emeka wanted to see the walls. "Show me the dining room," he said.

brrrbrrr. Yet another. "Possible KC. Possible SD."

He was fascinated with the walls. Their cream voluptuousness soaring above, their expanse so wide. Slight cracks underneath the crown molding enhanced their charm.

He stretched out his arms, the full length of his wingspan not quite great enough to encapture it. There would be plenty of room, plenty.

brrrbrrr. Now an email. His agent moved to email. "Definitely not Seattle. People aren't ready. Not considering Alberquerque. That's like thinking of a team on the moon. Why would that happen? You're losing your mind..." He clicked the Blackberry off.

"Have you seen the clawed-foot tubs. They're..." the maroon-haired lady started. "And the master... "

"I'll take it, I'll take it," Emeka said. "Will you accept a check?"

***

The next day, Emeka lays silently on the wooden floors, the beams radiating the length of his body. The Mayflower trucks were on their way from Charlotte, making the drive down I-40 and through the great American south.

On the wall was a gigantic map, a map of epic proportions of the continental United States. A thick Magik Marker drew the path from Charlotte to New Orleans. Darts were scattered all over the floor. Only one stuck on the map.

RING.....RING. Emeka tilted his head up off the floor, dug the phone out of his pocket. The real estate agent.
"Mr. Okafor?"

"Yes."
"I checked on those two requests for you, sir."
"Great."
"Well, you were right...I couldn't find the phone or house number for a uh, Mr. George Shinn anywhere in town. He might live in Metairie, but I doubt it. Maybe Old Metairie."
"Okay."
"And yes, all my sources tell me now IS the absolute, the most absolute best time to buy in Las Vegas."
"Great. Do it. I'll hold onto it for a few years."