Recent Rumblings: @TheClassical, @TheBallerBall, & @RushtheCourt

While Langston took care of last Saturday's SEC post, our blog's been reduced to a weekly football caption over the last month. However, that doesn't mean we haven't been writing elsewhere recently. Check out the links below, and we promise to diversify our portfolio here in the coming days (especially now that basketball is truly upon us).

Just make me look good guys, and I promise to give you all the credit. 

The Art of Fielding: No, That's Not a Reference to Sarah Palin and Glenn Rice

-Why do we care? How is this news? Could this be any stranger? It's not just that Sarah Palin had a one night stand, but that she had it with a guy who was good but not great in the NBA, which is most likely how we will all remember Palin's political career. She can fill a room, she can create a soundbite, but she's not carrying a Presidential ticket to victory. And one more time, why do we care?

Michael Hipster Runoff Beasley

Josh Spilker of Deckfight is back with us to share some words on a man who was booted from the fiesta in Miami before it even got going.  He's crediting the style of the piece to the blog Hipster Runoff, so if you like it, check that out as well.  


Michael Beasley, feels like we barely knew you.

"Two on the Aisle": Busted Brackets

From time to time, we tend to use Ed Hopper paintings as a magnifying glass for studying the ins and outs of the NBA, and, with March Madness in full gear, the NBA becomes a fan of the drama much like the rest of us.

Ricky Rubio and the Missing Chums

Ricky Rubio will not be a Timberwolf this season, and it looks more and more like he may never be a Timberwolf. Rubio opted this week to sign with FC Barcelona and remain in Spain, so let's go ahead and pick this saga up from where we last left it:

Frank (Al Jefferson) filled his knapsack with two turkey sandwiches that Aunt Gertrude (David Stern) made and sat on the table for him and Chet (Kevin Love). He also placed two flashlights, some extra batteries, matches, and a flare gun in the sack. He opted to carry his compass and pocket knife in his pockets. Then he went out to the garage and checked the fuel gauge on his sleek, black-and-silver motorcycle that he fashioned out of a Pinewood Derby kit. The guage said the tank was full, so he and Chet would leave as soon as it got dark.

He and Chet took the old Shore Road, swerving around the turns at very high speeds. Chet's grip grew tighter on Frank's shoulders, and he called out, "can't we go slower?" Frank knew Chet was right; they shouldn't drive so fast, but he had to find Joe (Ricky Rubio) before the homeless viking (Brett Favre) did something terrible to him.

When they go to the edge of the woods, they looked for the viking's trail and any signs that someone had dragged something heavy through the underbrush. Frank found a patch of crushed moss and flattened clovers. He whispered to Chet, "I think he must have taken Joe this way." Little did Frank know, he was tracking a Canadian moose. As the sun rose, the two boys came to the conclusion that they weren't going to find Joe. Covered in dirt and sweat, they went back to the sleek motorcycle and drove back along the old Shore Road, past the shanties and boat houses.

As they drove around the edge of a cliff, Chet pointed to the horizon, "Maybe it's the sun in my eyes, but that looks like the old Spanish galleon sailing away."

Frank couldn't believe it. The ship he found the viking's fingerprints on was now sailing across the water, but even more strange was the fact that on the boat someone was waving at them. Frank quickly pulled a U-turn and drove to the Hardy's boathouse. "Chet, we're going to take The Sleuth out on the high seas. We've got to catch that galleon."

The two climbed into the yellow speedboat, tossing their pack in the back seat. Then Frank made for the galleon, forcing the boat to go as fast as possible over the waves that passed under the stern like liquid rope.

"Hello, boys, Joe's gone...gone...gone. My super sleuth reputation is on the line, and it's cause I can't bring my own son home. He's gone...gone...gone." Frank had never seen his super sleuth father Fenton Hardy (Kurt Rambis) so downtrodden before, and if he'd been been closer to his dad, then he would have smelled the liquor on his father's breath, as well as the police chief (David Kahn) passed out in the sun.

With no fresh leads, Frank took the boat back to shore, wondering if he would ever see his brother again, while Chet stayed on the galleon with Fenton Hardy, helping him to sing a rousing rendition of "Sloop John B," all to the rhythm of the police chief's drunken snores.

Ricky Rubio and the Homeless Viking Mystery

Bethlehem Shoals brought this story in the Pioneer Press to my attention, over on The Baseline. Essentially, the Pioneer Press reports that Favre coming to training camp late for the Minnesota Vikings gives the Minnesota Timberwolves hope that Ricky Rubio can also report to camp late, which brings us to where we left off last with Frank and Joe Hardy:

As soon as Fenton Hardy (Kurt Rambis) arrived in Minnesota, he met Frank Hardy (Al Jefferson) and Chet Morton (Kevin Love) at the local police station. The presence of Frank's dad, a world class super sleuth, gave credence to Frank's theory that his brother Joe (Ricky Rubio) was kidnapped in the eyes of the local police chief (David Kahn).

"Okay, Mr. Hardy, I'll send some of my best men over to that Spanish galleon and have them investigate the premises," said the police chief as he shook Mr. Hardy's hand.

"Oh, don't worry about it, sir. While Chet caught his breath, I dusted the whole galleon for finger prints with my junior detective kit. It only took a few seconds," chimed in the dark-haired Frank.

Fenton Hardy looked at his son proudly, "Very well, son, show us what you found." Frank pulled out the prints he'd taken off the old wooden ship and followed the chief into the police laboratory, where they examined the prints.

"If I'm not mistaken, the way these prints are worn shows that the person who left them tends to carry some sort of ax," Mr. Hardy hypothesized.

The police chief added, "Well, that sure doesn't tell us much. This is lumberjack country up here. Everyone's used to carryin' an ax."

"Frank," interjected Chet, "tell 'em about the homeless viking (Brett Favre) we saw sneaking through the woods."

"You saw a viking?" asked Frank.

"Yeah, while you were dusting for prints, this viking staggered through the woods dragging something heavy behind him," Chet explained.

"I bet he was dragging Joe!" blurted Frank. "We've got to go back in those woods. I just know it."

"Hold on. Now, Frank, we can't just march off into those woods based on the fact that Chet saw a homeless viking dragging something through the underbrush," Mr. Hardy said sternly. "The people that live up here love their football and their heritage. We can't go investigating everyone who wears a horned helmet, no matter how badly we all want to find Joe."

Frank nodded, but he knew the viking had his brother somewhere in those woods. He just knew it, and he was already planning on investigating the situation that very night.

Kurt Rambis Hired: The Mystery of the Missing Rubio

Kurt Rambis, after days of intrigue and rumors, officially signed on as the Minnesota Timberwolves head coach. Reports on the story basically read that long-time Laker assistant coach and role player leaves sunny Hollywood for the Arctic cold, but the story should have read:

World-renowned private detective and former ace NYPD sleuth Fenton Hardy (Kurt Rambis) was hot on the trail of an infamous Los Angeles jewel thief when he received a telegram from his oldest son Frank Hardy (Al Jefferson) that his youngest son Joe Hardy (Ricky Rubio) had been kidnapped. Frank and Joe Hardy were out, on the lake, with their friend Chet Morton (Kevin Love), who was eating a ham sandwich the whole time, when their motorboat began to run low on fuel. Frank took the boat back to shore. Joe hopped out of the boat and sprinted to the dock's toolshed, but Joe never returned.

Frank and Chet waited for fifteen minutes and then began to get nervous. As they both began to sweat, Frank said, "Chet, you search the toolshed. I'll search the treeline. Flash this light once if you're in trouble and twice if you find Joe."

"But it's not even dark outside."

"Just flash the light, Chet. I'll see it; I'm a Hardy boy."

The two searched the shoreline for thirty minutes, but all they found were the remnants of a Spanish galleon, whose sails were tattered. After three more minutes, the two drove to the nearest gas station and called the local chief of police. "Can I speak to the police chief (David Kahn)? I'm Frank Hardy, and my brother Joe's been missing for 38 minutes. I think he's been kidnapped by Spanish conquistadors."

The police chief dismissed Frank's story, laughing hysterically, leading Frank to contact his father Fenton Hardy, a world-renowned super sleuth. The minute Fenton Hardy read the telegram he left for the land of ten thousand lakes, stopping briefly at the airport bookstore to purchase the text Hernando Cortes and the Conquest of Mexico.

The number of the day is:

33, as in Carmelo Anthony matched George Gervin’s NBA record by dropping 33 points in the third quarter. Melo was 12-15 from the field, 4-5 from three-point range and 5-6 from the free-throw line. Anthony finished with a season-high 45 points in the Denver Nuggets’ 116-105 victory over the Minnesota Timberwolves. At one point, he hit 8 straight shots scoring 26 consecutive points for the Nuggets.

Gervin set the record on April 9, 1978 when he scored 33 points for San Antonio in the second quarter against New Orleans . Anthony obviously broke the franchise record of 32 set by David Thompson against Detroit, which was also set on April 9, 1978. Here is Melo's record breaking quarter in video form thanks to Ball Don't Lie. :