A Brett Favre Breakup Letter, Part 5

Dear Brett,

I've thought about it, and our breakup really isn't that big of a deal. It didn't even crack John Cusack's top five all-time breakups list. Hell, I don't even think it cracks my top five, and just to prove it to you, here's my list:

5) My fifth grade girlfriend Ashley M. broke my heart over the phone. She moved to Oconee County after elementary school, so I was never able to truly find out why. That is until Amanda B. told me in seventh grade that Ashley M. broke up with me for not holding hands with her during recess. Apparently, I was too busy playing basketball and kickball to be the kind of man a fifth grade girl could depend on. In my defense, I still enjoy basketball and kickball and have no idea where Ashley M. even is. You hear that, Brett, you got beat out by someone whose whereabouts I haven't known for years.

4) Desmond Howard enters the list at this spot. I only knew him briefly, but he was so fast, daring, and confident; it was hard to take my eyes off him. He also won a Super Bowl MVP, unlike someone else I know.

3) Kelly Kapowski never returned my fan mail, which makes me think that Tyffanie Amber Thiessen did her best work on Saved by the Bell. On 90210, Tyffanie's true self came out when she played a word I won't type cause my mom might read this. Still, to this day, I find every girl named Kelly extremely attractive no matter what. Wow, Brett, there's room in my top five for a fictional television character, but not you, that's got to hurt. In fact, I never even dated her, Brett, and I bet she'll finally get around to writing me after she reads this, which will set off a sequence of events that ends in Kelly and I getting married and her wearing your jersey to bed every night.

2) Dean Smith, I understand you had to go. It was time, but I will forever look at the year 1998 and think what if you'd still been around. That's right, Brett, in 1998, I was thinking of Dean and not you, even if the Packers were in the playoffs.

1) Running, you were once a big part of my life. After my last race in high school, I took my spikes off and sat in the grass for a good while, contemplating where I'd gone wrong in all three of my events that day. I came into the meet ranked top ten in the state in all of them, yet somehow, I failed to qualify for states. When I finally walked to the team bus, I found a seat near the front, away from everyone. I didn't speak the whole ride home. The ride lasted at least three hours, and I just kept going over every step of those races. In some ways, Brett, it reminds me of that pass you threw against the Giants in overtime. How often does that throw run through your head? You know what I did the day after that race, Brett? I went running. What else was I going to do? What else could I do but try and race the ghosts into extinction?

I can see why you still want to play, but why do you have to go about it like this? What makes one person able to look at their regrets and move on and another person dig in? Brett, we're more than the sports we play. I hope you know that. If you let it go, then, eventually, it will let you go too.

Sincerely,
a Packers fan