Read Everything That Dunks Must Converge

Read Everything That Dunks Must Converge
by Bryan Harvey

Truth & lies in Pixar's 'The Good Dinosaur'

Truth & lies in Pixar's 'The Good Dinosaur'
by Bryan Harvey

A world of child soldiers & cowboys

A world of child soldiers & cowboys
by Bryan Harvey

To their own devices: Pablo Larrain's 'The Club'

To their own devices: Pablo Larrain's 'The Club'
by Bryan Harvey

LCB NFL Picks: The Super Bowl

January 31, 2009

+ 6.5 Arizona Cardinals (12-7) vs. Pittsburgh Steelers (14-4) @ 6:00 pm on NBC Sunday, Feb. 1st;

Over the past week or so I have been coming across lame youtube videos from fans of both the Cardinals and the Steelers. Most of these videos fall into one of the following categories; a) terrible b) embarrassing c) funny d) disturbing e) sacrilegious and in the rare occurrence f) all of the above. So with no rooting interest in this game, despite the ranking system I made pre-playoffs and a wanton need for Steeler fans to end up like this bama, I decided the rare video that made me laugh and supply me with nightmare fuel would make me root for the other team. So congratulations Cardinals fans, thanks to the following clip I have decided to pull for your team. But don't pat yourselves on the back, thank Captain Creepy from the sea lab.

Cardinals 28 Pittsburgh 24

All-around the Steelers are the better team; they have the playoff/Super Bowl experience, they have the better defense, the Dirt Nasty of kickers, and the core of their offense has played together for a while now. The Cardinals are an upstart team that seemed to be on the brink for the past four seasons, and now they have finally broken through in a big way. They are a true underdog in every sense of the word, the only thing they have over the Steelers in this game is Larry Fitzgerald and Kurt Warner. They are the last team anyone could have expected to be in the Super Bowl, but here they are warts and all. I haven't picked them to win one game all season long, making me one of thousands that continued to doubt them all the way up to their recent trip to Tampa. When the Redskins aren't on, I love to root for the scrappy underdog. But I haven't picked them all year. Its a tough choice but when it's all said and done I think the team from the city of Pittsburgh will be hoisting the Lombardi trophy for the sixth time. A good offense fills the seats while good defense fills the trophy case. Pittsburgh 17 Arizona 7.

The safe pick would be the Stillers. The franchise may be the class of the NFL, and they don't have a fanbase--they have a religious following. When Brady went down, I told a coworker of mine that her Stillers were now the team to beat, and they've been solid all year. They have a stingy defense, a solid running game, a Super Bowl winning quarterback, and a Super Bowl MVP at wide receiver, in Hines "57 ways to score" Ward, so I'm going with the Cardinals. I don't like safe. Safe is boring. Whenever Cards are involved, I like to lay it all on the line. Let it ride. Larry Fitzgerald is the best player in football right now, an Ace in the hole. Kurt Warner has as many rings as Big Ben, which means he's got a poker face, and Big Ben looks more like a ticking time bomb than a precision time piece. Seriously, he may be the second best quarterback on his team. Arizona wins 31-27, and Public Enemy leads the Super Bowl march:

"I'm countin' down to the day deservin'

Fittin' for a King
I'm waitin' for the time when I can

get to Arizona."

We'll ignore Chuck D's thoughts on urinating all over the state because that was like a whole 18 years ago when their football team deserved to be urinated on. Do we give Obama or Whisenhunt credit for this change?

I really want to say that Arizona is going to win. I hate Pittsburgh. Not the city per se, as my bro is currently studying and living there. But I honestly get annoyed as shit with all the Pittsburgh fans around Fredrock. I don't like Big Ben. I don't like Hines Ward. I don't like Omar Epps(Mike Tomlin). I just think that they have much more big game experience and will be able to move the ball at will. Willie Parker has come back to provide the balance that they need. Look for him to break a big run or two, and even if Ward isn't at full speed, look for a big touchdown from Santonio Holmes. The D will put pressure on Warner, making the Warner-Larry Fitz combo less effective. Fitz and Boldin will still get numbers, but the Steelers will win, 31-14.

So as a new resident of Pittsburgh, I'm picking the Steelers to win. And instead of going into why they are gonna win, or defenses of any of that crap, I'll tell you why I want them to win. I want the Stillers to win, because this place will absolutely go insane. Pittsburgh is a place where schools are already delayed 2 hours on Monday, because of the Super Bowl, and now that the "kids will be up late" and don't want attendance down. It is a place where the mayor of the city changes his name from Ravenstahl to "Steelerstahl" because the Steelers are playing the Ravens, and doesn't want to be labeled as a Ravens fan. Every friday, all workplaces allow black and gold and Steeler jerseys as proper dress. I went into a bagel shop this morning, they had black and gold bagels for sale. These people don't root for their team like the rest of the country. They live and breath black and gold. So, here's to the Steelers winning the big one, because honestly, I don't know if I want to see how this city would react to a loss, especially to Arizona. Steelers win 24-17.


Teach said...

Langston, the video is scary. Berndon, thanks for the Omar Epps reference.

February 1, 2009 at 6:14 PM
Langston said...

Yeah the clip provides a gross amount of nightmare fuel

February 1, 2009 at 7:05 PM

Post a Comment


© 2008-2010 ·The Lawn Chair Boys by TNB