MLB Channel Surfing

Channel surfing Tuesday night's baseball games with Berndon's MLB.TV premium package and like channel surfing it's pretty much stream of consciousness:




Texas Rangers defeat the Detroit Tigers 8-1: We start in Detroit, where Texas takes a 1-0 lead with Ian Kinsler's RBI triple. Josh Hamilton follows with a Sac Fly, making it 2-0. Tommy Hunter on the hill, the manager of the Unemployed Felons(yours truly) rejoices. David Murphy hits a 427 ft. HR (3-0 Texas). This is not the Cleveland Indians, Armando Galarraga. You will not pitch anything close to a perfect game tonight.

Technical Difficulties: MLB.TV just swatted my shot into the stands for the first of probably 25 times on the evening when trying to switch to the Yankees-Angels game. This will be a common theme throughout the course of the evening. For some reason, I was allowed to switch to the Braves-Padres game, the two teams with the best records in the NL, just in time to watch Troy Glaus fly out. Exhilirating. (Atlanta won the game 4-1).

Washington Nationals lose to the Cincinnati Reds 8-7: Miguel Cabrera, you are no David Murphy. A deep fly out followed by Chris Bosh's illegitimate brother, Brennan Boesch, grounding out. Reds 3, Nats 0. Thanks, Nats.

Milwaukee Brewers lose to the Pittsburgh Pirates 11-9: Meanwhile, the Pirates have put up 9 on Milwaukee in the 1st inning. Normally, this would take them 15 games (yet they own the Cubs this season for some horrid reason).

Fantasy Meanderings: I need the following things to happen tonight to feed my non-gambling gambling addiction. (ie streak games on both espn and mlb.com). I need the Cubs to win in my Survivor entry, the Rangers to win in my Streak for the Cash, and Orlando Hudson to get a knock for my beat the streak entry on mlb.com. In related news, I have no girlfriend and haven't gotten laid in 6 months.

Colorado Rockies defeat the Florida Marlins 10-0: Melvin Mora hits a bases-clearing double off of Nate Robertson of the Marlins, and his 2k10 Rec Specs. Baltimore rejoices. I need more Tommy Hunter in my life. He has a no-hitter through 3 until Austin Jackson ruins Christmas. Up comes Johnny Damon to a Pantera song, which is not something I really see Mr. Damon listening to.

Filler: 8:00 breakdown( 33 runs scored, 0 bathroom breaks, 1 pinch of skoal, 0 sodas)

Hopes and dreams and advice for the kids: I really believe in the powers of Magglio Ordonez's Mexi-Mullet;  he needs to bring it back immediately. Almost time for the Cubs, who are about to go on a Atlanta-Bobby Cox-like run now that Lou Pinella announced his retirement. I'm also not a homer at all when it comes to the Cubs. Speaking of the Braves, I flipped just in time to see "All-Star" Omar Infante up with 2 outs and 2 runners on. Someday I will tell my kids about seeing him play. Even Babe Ruth struck out sometimes, Omar, keep your chin up. SD 1, Atl 0.

First inning at Wrigley: 1-2-3 1st for the Cubbies. Ryan Dempster is cooler than Justin Timberlake. In Pittsburgh, former Cub and UF Casey McGehee puts me on the board in fantasy with a single. Tyler Colvin and Starlin Castro are the Cubs first two hitters. Both will be studs for years to come. The Brewers have now cut the Pirates' lead to 10-6. I'm fearlessly predicting a Milwaukee win. Derrek Lee just struck out for the 9,357th time on the year. Nil-Nil at Wrigley after 1.

Fantasy meanderings: Not only do I hate the Cardinals, but my fantasy opponent has both Albert Pujols and Matt Holiday in his lineup. It's going to be fun watching them bludgeon Jamie Moyer all night.

If I ruled the world: In Minnesota, the official scorer obviously wants me to win 3 million dollars. On a high-hopper that should have been an error, the O-Dog was awarded a single. Seven games down, 50 more to go until I buy out LCB from Langston and turn it into a College basketball/Porn megasite.

Cubs fall behind 2-0: We're now up to 6 media errors now on the MLB.TV feed, enabling me to miss a Chris Johnson RBI Single. Luckily the feed came back just in time to watch The Riot airmail a double play throw to 2nd that was Cutleresqque. Astros 2, Cubs 0. I believe the kids like to say "fml." It's probably not a good thing when you have the league's 3rd highest payroll and lead the majors in unearned runs. Go Cubs go. Bases loaded walk to "Fat Elvis" brings the damage to 4-0 in Houston's favor. As you can tell, the Cubs are extremely invested in the game after Pinella's announcement. I need a Tommy Hunter fix. MLB.TV says no.

Looking for answers: Jamie Moyer's 9:00 nursing home curfew has taken him out of the game after just one inning. I wonder what happened to him seriously. I can't get the Yankees-Angels feed because the game is on the MLB Network.

Filler: 9:00 update ( 69 runs scored, 1 bathroom break, 1 pinch, 1 soda, 1 slice of pizza)

Elvis Andrus has a ton of range. He comes up with a disgusting web gem to preserve Hunter's shutout bid.

Braves take command of the game: I'm going to jump to Atlanta for a little while now, with the Braves up 2-1. Jair Jurrjens is dealing right now. 7 innings of 1 run ball with 7 k's on 106 pitches. This bodes well for the Braves in the playoffs with a rotation of Tim Hudson, Jurrjens, Derrick Lowe, and Tommy Hanson. Teach just read this and quietly fist pumped. The Braves better hold serve, because here the comes the best bullpen in the league. As I typed that statement, MVP candidate Martin Prado hit a lead-off double. Jason Heyward then murdered a fastball over Tony Gwynn Jr's head in CF. Pump the breaks Braves; I need Billy Wagner to get a save. Matt Diaz does not help matters with an RBI single. 4-1 Bravos.

Miscellaneous: Aramis Ramirez puts the Cubs on the board with a solo shot, making this a 6-1 game. Just as I flip to the Philly-Stl game, Matt Holliday hits a 3 run dong. The fantasy gods also hate me. It's now 7-1 Astros. This night was a terrible idea. It's not that I hate baseball; it's that baseball clearly hates me. First final of the night, Rockies 10, Fish 0. Time to go back to Pittsburgh, for what might be the most entertaining game of the night. It's now 11-9 Pirates. Scratch that, I like trainwrecks better. More Cubs ineptitude. But first, Billy Wagner gets me my first save of the night as Atl beats SD 4-1. Chris Carpenter and Tommy Hunter are cancelling each other out, as each have been dominant. I just picked the White Sox in my attempt to go 2-2 on Streak for the Cash, after Texas hooked me with an 8-0 win in Motown. Luckily for the Cubs, Wesley Wright has turned into Wesley Wright, and the Astros have turned into the Astros, 3 run HR for Ramirex, who is unbelievably on fire right now. 7-6 Houston.

Filler: 10:00 (104 runs scored, 1 BB, 2 pinches, 1 soda)

Ending the night: This is the portion of the evening when the Cubs bullpen destroys my hopes of a comeback by probably giving up 4 more runs. The majority of my fantasy hitters are playing West Coast games, and first up in the hit parade is the great Kevin Youkilis. Youka hits a shot into the left center field gap. David Oritz is fat, and gets thrown out at home, stealing my extra RBI. Literally one minute later, Geovony Soto ties the Cubs game with a bomb into the bleachers. I am now convinced that all is right with the world, and that we are going to the playoffs once again. After a walk and stolen base from my boy Raffy Furcal, my other boy Andre Eithier (who for some reason does not use Dr. Dre as his AB music even though he plays in LA) hits a 2 run HR. I bleed Dodger Blue 2/9 of the time.

I really like this Andrew Cashner kid coming out of the pen for the Cubs. He throws 96-98 and could be a nice bullpen piece/set-up man for Marmol in the coming years. It's still 7-7 at Wrigley. In a blacked-out game that I probably wouldn't have watched anyway because the O's are the worst team in baseball, B'More has tied up the Rays 9-9 in the 9th with runners on 2nd and 1st. I get the radio feed and tune in just in time for TB to squelch the rally. Free baseball in Maryland in a game that Tampa has to win with the Yankees already losing to the Angels 10-2.

I might have to go ahead and buy a Castro 13 jersey. I think it could be a worthwhile investement. Leadoff double for the rook, followed by DLee hitting a double. 8-7 Good Guys! Soriano joins the partay, making it 9-7. Player AB music continues to fascinate me. Ichiro's choice: "OMG" by Usher. Draw your own conclusions.