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SEC Week 5 Preview

September 26, 2014

We're still a week away from a really good SEC slate. But SEC football is still better than any alternative*.


'Dores v Cats
Las Vegas has Kentucky favored in this game by 17 points. 17 POINTS! KENTUCKY!?! If Vanderbilt was a TV pilot, this spread would say "It's no That's So Raven" and mean it as a condemnation. The post-Franklin 'Dores are bad, but to give UK 17 points bad? I don't know if there is any chance an SEC team can be that bad. But Vandy did lose to Temple. Also, this exists. UK 17, VU 10

Vols v Dawgs
Tennessee makes the trip to Athens after resting last week. This game appears to be another chance for Tennessee to be reminded how much farther they have to go before they contend for an SEC title. Thankfully, Georgia's offensive coordinator is still Mike Bobo, who is prone to forget he not only has Todd Gurley but also the best backfield in college football. His inability to just run the durn ball, may allow Tennessee to steal this one. Of course, for that to happen Tennessee will need to score some points. Justin Worley will need his line to step-up big time, give him the time needed to beat the lone weakness in the Gawja defense, the secondary. If that happens, the Vols could turn this into a shoot-out. But it won't. Their line isn't ready for prime time. UGA 27, UT 10.

Hogs v Aggies
Arkansas is a much better team than they were when they got shellacked by Auburn in week one. But the next three weeks could get pretty ugly for the boys from Fayetteville. First, they get Kevin Sumlin and his system. That system is built to cut you down at the knees with a never-ending barrage of seemingly replicated wide receivers and QBs who can throw it for 400 or run for 200. Then they get to play an Alabama team who has finally found a quarterback. Good luck with that, Arkansas. Finally, they get to try and stop Todd Gurley. As we mentioned earlier, Mike Bobo gives teams a lot of help in that regard. But Gurley only needs so many chances. This game should start a three-game losing streak and (as ridiculous as it may sound) the calls for Bielema's job. TAMU 45, Arkansas 28.

Tigers v Cocks
Until Mizzou beats a ranked team, I will not waste time predicting games for them. They lost to Indiana last week. This ain't basketball, Zou. That ain't acceptable down here. USC 27, Mizzou 20.

As for the rest of the SEC, see the gif below.


Memphis, LaTech and New Mexico State; I hope the tennis and swim teams are worth it. Destruction is upon you.

*ODU football not included. The Monarchs are Cheerwine to the SECs Coca-Cola. Go Monarchs! Beat MTSU!

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