What Oscar Forgot: All is Lost

A series of posts on films that may have underwhelmed during Awards season:

In Production: Gilbert and Javaris as Woodward and Bernstein

In an effort to repair their public images and fill their newly found free-time, Javaris Crittenton and Gilbert Arenas have agreed to act in a reboot of All The President's Men. Both hoopsters are said to be excited to have the opportunity to spread their wings in a different field and show the public that there is no animosity between the two budding thespians.

Michael Bay, who has long been rumored to be directing finally confirmed those rumors saying, "It's true, we are looking to start filming in February." When asked about the casting he added "When I heard we could get Gilbert and Javaris, my mind started running with ideas. I love Pakula's version, but this is my chance to beat that bastard James Cameron..... With them (Arenas and Crittenton) in the lead, we could do just about anything.... As I see it now, it's going to be a mixture of Conspiracy Theory, Norbit and Howard the Duck." Later in the interview, he referred to his love for CGI, "We will be faithful to the original. But with all the improvements in computers and special effects, we have boundless choices to improve the movie; explosions, aliens, robots, alien-explosions, robotic-aliens, whatever." The movie is expected to be released late 2010 /early 2011, with the target being Thanksgiving weekend.

Update: Greg Oden is in talks to play the part of "Deep Throat"

Coming Soon: "Fear" starring Shawne Merriman

The 1996 summer hit Fear, that starred Mark Walhberg is undergoing the same treatment that many movies have recently gone through, remakes. This time around the obsessed boyfriend, David McCall, will be played by Shawne Merriman. He will be joined in the cast by Reese Witherspoon, who due to her ability to avoid aging has signed on to reprise her role as Nicole Walker, a sixteen-year-old girl who falls in love with McCall. The movie is expected to be released sometime this fall.

Time Waster: This is chess, it ain't checkers

In the accompanying clip, Christopher Mintz-Plasse and Common do an abbreviated variant of the movie "Training Day." Guess which one plays the part of Denzel's character Alonzo Harris? You got it, none other than McLovin. (NSFW; language)

Time Waster: Greatest. Fight. Scene. Ever.

ZOMG! I just watched Undefeatable and was witness to one of the greatest action sequences of all-time. Hey whaddya know, heres the clip




Oh by the way you can order the movie here... Your welcome..

Greatest Baseball Movie of All-Time

Me and my LCG were talking about all the baseball movies we have watched since we have been dating . It made me wonder how many of them would be on a list of the best baseball movies ever made. Some of the titles include Bang the Drum Slowly, The Natural, Eight Men Out, and Field of Dreams. So I googled best baseball movies and found BostonBaseball.com. It lists every baseball movie they found note worthy, over 100 different titles. As I perused the list, I found some titles that automatically disqualify it as a legitimate best of ranking. Some of those disqualifying titles include; Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch, Angels in the Infield, and Bad News Bears go to Japan. But with a list of over a 100 different movies on one subject, what can you expect?

So I went back to google and found Baseball Americas top 10 baseball movies of all time listed on Baseball Almanac. Now this was a list I could compare my thoughts to. Here is their list;

• 10 Major League
• 9 The Sandlot
• 8 A League of Their Own
• 7 The Natural
• 6 The Bad News Bears
• 5 The Pride of the Yankees
• 4 Eight Men Out,
• 3 Bang the Drum Slowly
• 2 Field of Dreams
• 1 Bull Durham.

Pretty good list, but I got Rookie of the Year over The Bad News Bears. I'm a big Busey fan. Plus on my list The Natural would be a little higher, but like I said its a pretty good list. So what would your list look like? Any glaring omissions in this ranking?

The Infomers

Bret Easton Ellis first captured my attention when I watched "American Psycho," a close friend of mine suggested I read the book and as always that the book was much better than the film (Has there even been a movie better than the book?). Obviously my friend was right, Ellis' images were so precise that he painted a perfect picture of every scene. Ellis' writing is perfect for Hollywood yet the movies never compare to his work. First was "Less Than Zero," which focused the attention on Robert Downey Jr.'s character Julian Welles. Julian was just a piece in the puzzle in the book and this upset a lot of Ellis' fans as well as himself (he didn't even go to the premiere). But with his writing how can we expect a major studio to convey all of the disgusting habits of Ellis' characters?

In 2000, we got the cult favorite "American Psycho." A fantastic movie on its own yet it still had some fans wanting more depth. It confused some viewers that had never read the book, thinking he really was a homicidal maniac. The movies success can also be blamed for "American Psycho 2," maybe one of the worst movies of all-time.

In 2002, the Roger Avary directed "Rules of Attraction" was released and saw marginal success, the present day setting of the 80's themed book bothered a lot of fans. But it finally made Ellis so satisfied that he did not want anyone else directing his paper-to-screen releases.

Next up was the never to be released "Glitterati," a film that was supposed to merge the story lines of "Rule of Attraction" and "Glamorama." "Glitterati" is a feature-length re-editing of the breathlessly edited "European Trip" section of "Rules of Attraction". Victor Ward (Kip Pardue) bums around Europe meeting people both famous and strange, and having off-beat and often surreal encounters in a non-stop quest to completely experience the continent. The movie is said to have issues with release forms, as Kip was basically in character as they shot the entire time they were there. Bret Easton Ellis has given Avary the rights to "Glamorama" for life, but Avary has legal issues and a shortage of cash flow making the delivery of this film that much more unlikely.

Bret Easton Ellis' "The Informers" is finally coming to the big screen, with Gregor Jordan directing(due to Avary's legal problems) a screenplay written by Ellis and Nicholas Jarecki. The cast includes Billy Bob Thornton, Kim Basinger, Brandon Routh, Austin Nichols, Lou Pucci, Wynona Rider, Ashley Olsen and Brad Renfro (his last work before his death). The Informers was first published in 1995, a collection of loosely connected short stories captures a week in Los Angeles in 1983. The stories feature movie executives, rock stars, a vampire and as Ellis’ other works, various “morally challenged characters in adventures laced with sex, drugs and violence." Fans are already screaming as Jordan and Ellis have taken the sub-plot of vampires out of the movie. I think the movie will do better without the underworld, the vampire chapter was fantastic and out of nowhere but was not necessary to the books plot. Here is the just released trailer to the long awaited movie release of "The Informers."
This clip is NotSafeForWork.




From what I can see this will probably be the best adaptation of any of the Ellis novels, and any trailer that opens with a Ronald Reagan clip and New Orders "Blue Monday " is a hit in my mind but that's just me.

Ellis is still submerging himself into Hollywood, as he is currently working on "Lunar Park" and "The Frog King."

""Lunar Park" is a combined semi-autobiographical novelization of the life of Bret Easton Ellis and is
a ghost story in the vein of Stephen King. It was released by Knopf on August
16, 2005. It is notable for being the first book written by Ellis to use past
tense narrative."

""The Frog King" is about a struggling writer played be Joseph Gordon-Levitt;
toiling away at his publishing house job as he tries to keep the one good thing
in his life, his relationship with his girlfriend from going wrong. "

Both are expected to be released in 2009, but more likely 2010. "The Informers" is said to be released in fall/winter of 2008 but I see it coming in 2009.

Batman Captured

Christian Bale was taken into custody today over allegations that he assaulted his mother and sister. Its been reported that Bale's mother and sister complained they were assaulted by Bale at the Dorchester Hotel in London on Sunday night, a day before the European premiere of "The Dark Knight."

The women made the allegation at a local police station in southern England on Monday, Britain's Press Association news agency said.

More on the arrest after the jump

Asked whether Bale had been arrested, a police spokesman did not refer to him by name but said: "A 34-year-old man attended a central London police station this morning by appointment and was arrested in connection with an allegation of assault." He said the man was still in custody but gave no further details.

The Sun newspaper said police didn't question the actor Monday because they didn't want to interfere with the premiere of the movie.

"The Dark Knight," debuted with a record $158.4 million, according to final weekend numbers Monday. Regardless of the fact that he has been in 3 of my top 10 favorite movies of all time(American Psycho, The Machinist, and Dark Knight yes its that good) I have trouble believing these allegations, as they waited an entire day to tell the police and the police didn't think it was important enough to arrest him immediately. What are your thoughts?

The Guardian: Batman star Christian Bale arrested

The Dark Knight @ a glance

I'll need to see the film a few more times before I start making concrete caveats about it, but The Dark Knight is a film that stretches its themes well beyond its genre, which is what good art does, and Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker demands that this "comic book movie" be looked at as art. His Joker is not a bank robber, a desperate man in need of attention, or simply out to foil the Batman; he is, as Alfred describes him, "[a man who] just wants to watch the world burn." This Joker's intention is to conduct a psychological study in how to create anarchy and see how many chaotic choices between life and death can the human psyche take before it pitfalls into madness. The thing is, this Joker is conducting his psychological studies without taking notes or writing doctoral theses. There is no end goal, but flame and smoke. Nothing.


Heath Ledgers's portrayal of the Joker takes the character well beyond the normal archetype of a comic villian. He is not motivated by past failures or revenge like the villians of the Spiderman trilogy, and he is not after control or power as the Scarecrow was in Batman Begins. Afterall, his greatest pleasures in the film are a result of Batman taking control from him. He seems happiest when Batman takes the detonator out of his hand or is able to rescue the hostages because it brings the Joker back to ground zero, where, as Yeats writes, "all the ladders start." The Joker wants to be at ground zero, so he can build his ladders, only to burn them once they begin to resemble some sort of order. He's not trying to go anywhere and that makes him scarier than any normal villian.

He's more Colonel Kurtz from Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness than he is criminal: "There was nothing either above or below him...He had kicked himself loose of the earth." In fact in the Joker's last scene, the only thing holding him in existence is the rope Batman ties him up with. If not for that, then the Joker would be totally free, physically, as well as mentally. In other words, this Joker never fears death. In fact, he probably prefers it because the experience is completely unknown.

And while Heath's Joker hung upside down my eyes began to sweat. Here was Heath Ledger lighting the screen on fire, hanging from a rope that somewhat resembles a fuse, and I had smoke in my eyes. I don't know if playing this role unnerved something in Ledger's mental state. I'm sure case studies have been done, are being done, and will be done that will try and say playing this role was the death of him. Personally, I would assume something was already wrong, waiting under the surface, before he took part in this film. Either way it seems fitting that after such a performance his last scene features him suspended in air, not a part of this world and not a part of the next, which is where art exists, filling in the gaps between humanity, imagination, and God.

I feel one has to admire the man's daring to push himself to the brink, as selfish as that sounds, and his willingness to completely embrace a character forces so many questions that stretch beyond the pages of comic books: how do we deal with people like the Joker? what are we willing to give up in the face of something that goes well past evil? at what price is great art made? is there any way to keep one's moral boundaries alive and well in a world such as this? what's the difference between the hero we deserve and the hero we need?

We needed this performance, Heath, but I'm not sure we deserved it; and we may never understand how far you had to go in giving it to us.

(P.S. This movie seemed as much about Gotham City as it did about our relations with the Middle East and China)

Illegal Use of the Hands

Is a touching story about not fitting in, struggling to find a place you belong, redemption, and sexual offenders. I just saw this fake movie preview on The VisitorsLockerRoom.com, and if they had a category at the Academy Awards for fake movie previews this would definately win or atleast get nominated.

Off Topic

Anyone born in the early to mid 1980's would agree that GI Joe owns, and the fact that they are making a live action film with Jospeh Gordon Levitt as Cobra should be awesome. Well this billboard was seen at the Cinema EXPO in Amsterdam. Yes that is Channing Tatum (you know the guy from Step Up 2: the streets) as Duke, Brendan Fraser (haha) will be Gung Ho, and Dennis Quaid (thats not that bad) will be General Hawk. From what I have gathered this movie will stray a bit from the cartoon that we all grew up loving, like the show it will be mixed special ops but no emphasis will be placed on Americas values and democracy. In my opinion the biggest mistake so far has been casting a brit as the President of the United States. Oh and the characters all look different, instead of the awesome uniforms we remember as kids, they will all look like sadists with black leather. Thanks hollywood for ruining another childhood memory for me. Oh well, the movie is expected to be released in summer 2009.

YO JOE!!

Speak into the microphone squid brain

This is a couple of weeks old, but its new to me so now its news for you. It was the movie that introduced me to another of my favorite things in the world, boobs the beach.It had everything a kid growing up in Hawaii wanted in a movie; primo swells, fighting, Swayze, and hot chicks chicks from the early 90's. If you didn't figure it out yet, read the press release.

CANNES -- Seventeen years after "Point Break" washed up in movie theaters, surf's up for the sequel, "Point Break: Indo," with Jan de Bont aboard to direct.

RGM Entertainment and Essential Entertainment will exec produce this Asia-based follow-up to director Kathryn Bigelow's original, which starred de Bont's "Speed" lead Keanu Reeves as an FBI agent casing a gang of surfer bank robbers. The new film will take place 20 years after the disappearance of one of the criminal surfers (Patrick Swayze).

Both the original and sequel are written by W. Peter Iliff. Plot details and possible character reprises have not been disclosed, but the film will shoot in Singapore and Southeast Asia.

Taylor Morgan Pictures' Chris Taylor and John Morgan will produce. RGM's Devesh Chetty, Essential's Jere Hausfater and Neil Kaplan, and the Paradigm-repped de Bont will executive produce.

Here is a reminder of how bodacious this movie is.


This movie is going to be nar nar! and don't act like you didn't pray every night for this. As Johnny Utah would say, Vaya con dios.