Ryan Seacrest: We're down to sixteen contestants and breaking it all down for us tonight will be our three judges, offering up their best advice and critiques of the eight teams representing the League's Eastern Conference.
#1 Chicago Bulls vs. #8 Indiana Pacers
Randy Jackson: Yo. Yo. Yo, dawg. Let me holler at you. Dude, Derrick, you are somethin' else, like when you hit that outside shot. . . dude.
Jennifer Lopez: I just hate to see anyone go home. When you're up on that stage, Tyler, you just give it your all, and, Roy, you really are just a gentle giant. I just want to take you Pacers home with me. You're so cute. Just so cute.
Steven Tyler: Joakim Noah, you are primal ark piece of work. You're that third dinosaur that missed the boat. You're special. You remind me of a Bo Diddley song where all the words that don't rhyme sound exactly the same.
#4 Orlando Magic vs. #5 Atlanta Hawks
Jennifer Lopez: Gilbert, can I just say how much I love your story? I just don't want Jameer to feel left out. Jameer, it doesn't matter that no one's talking about you--I'm talking about you. I want to be your sugar mama. Can I do that for you?
Steven Tyler: Rainbows are made up of colors that flow in unison, and you birds of a feather are like zig zagged skittles. You remind me of myself. I watch Josh Smith dunk, and I need rehab, but from what I don't know. Joe Johnson.
Randy Jackson: Let me tell it to ya straight. Yo, Dwight, you are a man child. You do your thang and no one is gettin' up on that stage with you. You jus' gotta be you. Yo.
#3 Boston Celtics vs. #6 New York Knicks
Steven Tyler: Madison Square Garden is a place that transforms fool's gold women into doubloons. You guys rock.
Randy Jackson: Yo, I'm serious. This could be special. You all could be special. I just got to say why are you so grumpy. You're wearing green--that's money. Paul Pierce is money. Kevin Garnett is money. Rajon Rondo, yo, dude, you're money. Even Doc Rivers is money. New York, yo, more money. You remind me of a song I heard. . . "Mo' Money, Mo' Problems". . . but the opposite, ya dig?
Jennifer Lopez: You're all so great. I just want to hug you. You make us feel that this is important. You put us in the moment and don't let go. That's what big time performances are about.
#2 Miami Heat vs. #7 Philadelphia 76ers
Randy Jackson: Yo, dawg, dude dawg, yo. I had my doubts. I wondered how far you could make it, but then you did your thang, and we're here and you're here and it's impressive. This is what stars do. They get the job done.
Jennifer Lopez: Doug, it's been a long ride. You've shown a lot. I just don't know if you have that "it" factor. You're not as good as everyone else here, but I don't want to send you home. I want to take you home.
Steven Tyler: AI is a Sixer, but LeBron and Dwyane and Chris are extraterrestrial. I feel like I'm in outer space.
Thoughts on the First Round of the Western Conference coming soon.
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