SEC Week 14

Rivalry week is here. Well, it actually started on Thursday with LSU beating Texas A&M and continued yesterday with Arkansas losing to the new power from the East, Mizzou. But anyways, let's start with the SEC-ACC Challenge and make our way to the two games everyone is waiting for.

South Carolina v Clemson

The Gamecocks try to extend their streak to six over the Tigers in (the other) Death Valley against the top rated defense in the country. Deshaun Watson is back for the best ACC team outside of Florida, making this a much tougher game for SC. Take the home team by 10.

Georgia Tech v Georgia

The combined 18-4 record for the schools is the best in this series since 1966. This clean, old fashioned hate game has changed quite a bit since Dooley and Dodd were patrolling the sidelines, but the hate remains. GT's option offense has been unstoppable, but UGA has been playing its best ball of the season. And though they won't have their bell cow, Todd Gurley, handling the rock, Nick Chubb is about as good of a back as you can ask for. I like the Dawgs by 7. And you should too; last season a 20 point lead wasn't enough for GT to win this game.

Kentucky v Louisville

Since basketball season has started, UK's defense has given up 56 points per game. Calipari's team has only given up more than 56 points once this season in their 6 wins. The Cats faithful have moved on to basketball season, and, apparently, so too has their defense. Louisville wins easily.

Florida v Florida State

Everyone is rooting for Muschamp and his Gators to win this, right? But what's more likely: the Seminoles go through the motions for the first 3 1/2 quarters to wake up and win on their final drive. FSU by 3.

Tennessee v Vanderbilt

All week long Derek Mason, the Commodore head coach, has refused to say Tennessee. Instead, he continually refers to them as the "Team out East". This isn't Michigan-Ohio State, Derek. And you don't have a chance in this one. Tennessee will remind Vandy and all their fans of their place in the state. They don't call it the Volunteer state for nothing. Vols by a lot.

Mississippi State v Ole Miss

Just a few weeks ago this seemed like it would decide the SEC Championship. Now that the Bulldogs need an Auburn win to get in and the Rebels are reeling (losing three straight in the SEC), the Egg Bowl has lost a little luster. Still, this is the most important one in a long time and is a must watch game. I like State to win, but I think the Rebs remind us why they were ranked third at one point. State by 3.

Auburn v Alabama
This game has the chance to be either dismal or amazing. If the Iron Bowl is as good as last year's, the edge goes to Auburn. In their two wins over the last four games in the series, they've won by 1 and 6 points respectively. If the game is a blowout, it means Bama wins handily. In their two wins over the last four games in the series, they've won by 49 and 28 respectively. I'll give the edge to the Crimson Tide. While they aren't as dominant as Tide teams of recent memory, their defense is still the best in the country. They are stout enough to allow their offense time to find a groove. Something I'm not sure the Tigers will be able to do. They will need to be at the top of their game to win this and maybe have a miracle or two to extend their Iron Bowl streak to two. Alabama by 13.

Time Waster: OOHHH MYYYYY!

Fries and Ketchup: Kiffin, Jordan, and a reason to shake

The weekly column where we mention anything we missed in the last week (or longer). It's a lot like those moments when you're out of ketchup, at a fine fast food restaurant, but lack the energy to go and get more; so you scrape away at the dregs on your hamburger wrapper, until all you can see is silver aluminum foil. It's classy, yet unrefined.


Reasons to cheer:
This weekend Florida and UT face off in The Swamp, in what is promised to be a nationally televised slaughter of the big orange. Even with the slim chances of UT staying within three touchdowns, I am looking at this game from a positive perspective. There are multiple reasons why Vol fans shouldn't be so gloom and doom for this matchup.

• If the Gators cover the spread, which is now at 30, they are mearly meeting expectations. If the Vols keep it close and lose, Kiffin has won the battle of perceptions and the Gators fail to keep their word.
  
• Even without Kiffin saying anything about the Gators, this would have been hard to watch. Remember the last time they played in the swamp? When the Gators won 58-20, with 21 points coming in the fourth quarter, thanks to Meyer using multiple timeouts to lengthen the Vols misery. And last year, where the Vols were demolished at home 30-6. So how much did Kiffin talking trash really hurt the Vols?
• Crompton is still the starter, and that's enough reason to fret about this game. Crompton is obviously not going to win them games. But at least Kiffin found that out last week, and will understand better what he is dealing with. Maybe Kiffin decides to use the wildcat. Maybe Kiffin decides to run on third and long, in an effort to make the game a field position battle. Maybe Kiffin decides to go with Orson's Swindle's advice, and start a giant catfish. All of these possibilites seem pretty awesome when compared to the idea of Crompton throwing five yard swing passes 98 miles per hour for the rest of the season.
  
• In 2001, the Volunteers went into The Swamp as 21 point dogs. They ended up out rushing the Gators 242-36, with Travis Stephens having the game of his life. They also won that game 34-32. (I want to note that the 2001 team had multiple NFL players including Jason Witten, Albert Haynesworth and Big John Henderson.) I can't imagine what would happen if they pulled off the upset, but I do know that Tebow would rip his human mask from his head to show the world his true state. As Vol fans know, he's actually a robot sent from Mercury to take over the World.
• Lastly, after Saturday, the Volunteers will never have to face Tim Tebow ever again. For me, that is reason enough to celebrate.
  

So Vol fans, while your watching the game, remember as long as the Vols keep it close, they are actually winning. And even if they lose by 70, that evil robot from Mercury will never face the Vols again.

Teach on the Jordan Speech:

If you saw Michael Jordan's Hall of Fame speech, then you've probably also noticed some of the backlash to it, as well as JA Adande's categorical defense of it. One should also make note of Bethlehem Shoals' thoughts on the matter, which come the closest to expressing how I feel about the matter. Jordan's speech was a look inside his head; it showed us his fear, his drive, and his ego. Perhaps, these traits are inseparable, but I find it hard to deride a man for revealing himself down to his core just because we wanted him to be something other than who he is. Michael Jordan was a damn good basketball player--the best I've ever seen--and we'd all be better served if we accepted the fact that he is not the Messiah, an activist, a politician, or a philosopher but a human being, as flawed as any other, who just so happened to be better at one thing than most of us could ever dream of being at anything.


The above highlight features two men, perceived as polar opposites, on and off the court, that went into the Hall of Fame together, showing us, like a Robert Frost poem, that while it may be true "two roads diverged in a yellow wood," those two roads both led to the same destination.


Buy This Album:

White Denim Fits
We already told you why White Denim's "I Start to Run" would be perfect for college football. But the whole album accompanies a tailgate nicely, it's music like this that can make even the most dreadful game seem appealing. It's just like whiskey but without the hangover. I leave you today with their video for "Shake, Shake, Shake" off their EP, Workout Holiday,

Riot time in Philly

I don't want to judge others, but I never understood the reasoning behind rioting in the city that you love after a big win or loss. Take College Park, Maryland for example.; One year they blow it in the Final Four. The students react by rioting, flipping cars, burning couches, and smashing shop windows . Next year they win the championship, town reacts by rioting, flipping cars, burning couches and smashing shop windows. The only plausible excuse could be, well its the only night we could do this and get away with it. Of course there is no etiquette book on the nuances of rioting which gives us the correct circumstances on when to riot. But that doesn't mean there shouldn't be a guide for this maniacal behavior.

The most raucous atmosphere I have been a part of was Knoxville 2004, after UT narrowly beat Florida with a game winning field goal. After the game I went through with my usual routine; I went to the strip to eat a late dinner, then went to Carrie and C.J.'s house for some beirut, and then head back to the Pong house for the band and after-party. But something happened, people started to literally lose their mind. I believe it happened due to a mixture of copious amounts of whiskey, the pressure of classes being released, and the fact that UT had just escaped a loss to the Gators. The scene was pure insanity. Computer monitors were being throw off of houses, couches were being burned in the middle of the road, and just absolute anarchy was about.

The thing I remember the most was talking to my old roommate Trey while drinking my typical makers on ice and debating what that guys first thought is going to be in the morning, post-riot. We discussed this guys eventual morning haze for a good thirty minutes, guessing that he would wonder where all his stuff went and then decide to go get the morning paper, to find all of the smashed and/or burnt remnants of his stuff on Highland ave. Or maybe he thinks to himself that he should update his away message but his monitor has gone missing with no clue of where it is. That's the one thing that sticks out to me, the thought of hungover people questioning what happened last night. Going from friend to friend to try to piece together the carnage they were a part of last night.

Last night the citizens of Philadelphia were able to let loose a lot of frustration. After all its been months since the city last enjoyed victory in a championship game. The Philadelphia Soul are this years Arena Bowl champs. These two championships should help the town get over Rocky's recent fictional loss to Mason Dixon.

The aftermath of the celebration; 15 people made trips to the emergency room (11 trauma cases), 76 were arrested, businesses ended up with smashed windows, stores were looted, and some poor soul's car was flipped. Seriously if this is what happens when finally winning after 28 years of futility, I shudder to think of what would happen in Chicago if the Cubs every won one.

UT-UF recap

Amazingly, Tennessee's offense and defense weren't terrible yesterday. Tennessee out gained Florida in almost every statistic but turnovers and points. And from what I have been told, those are two key statistics you need to win, in order to be victorious. But what's most disheartening is their ability to make absolutely egregious errors at the worst possible time. After a nice defensive stop, Tennessee got the ball back, and almost immediately Arian Foster got 15 in the wrong direction by committing a 15-yard personal foul penalty. That put them in third and long, which led to the pass out to the flat and the defensive hit on Hardesty as he was turning upfield, which of course led to the fumble and the score for Florida by jump pass. When they did get a nice drive going, running the ball, using the clock, keeping Tebow off the field, the Vols end up mismanaging a handoff in the red zone, fumble the ball, and headed back to the sideline with zero points.

Then there was the last drive before the half. Tennessee moves the ball into the redzone, and its first and goal from the 5. They run three ugly plays and its fourth and goal. 12 seconds left on the clock, with the score at 20-0. Tennessee should kick the field goal to get some points on the board and maybe some momentum in the locker room. Tennessee goes for it, Crompton throws a pick and its another wasted opportunity. Two trips inside the five and zero points.

One of the most frustrating things that happened yesterday was that they actually kicked to Brandon James. Who returned one in 2006 for a touchdown, luckily they called that one back. Then last season, they kick to him again, and he returns it for 6. So yesterday they knew that Brandon James should not be kicked to. They knew that they couldn't stop him, and what did they do? They kicked to him. They should have learned this lesson ages ago, and yet they continue to make the same mistakes.

Florida won 30-6, and from my standpoint it was a brutal game to watch. Florida has forced Tennessee into submission for the third year in a row, and it is not a comfortable feeling.

UT-UF: Its Hate Week

Its hate week and you know what that means, the teachers pet is coming to Knoxville. But instead of breaking down the two teams, I compiled a list of 12 reasons why Tennessee is better than Florida. (FYI: the list is in no particular order)

12) Tennessee is a musically rich state, from the sounds of bluegrass coming from the Smokey Mountains to Nashville and the heart of country, and finally the blues and crunk that comes out of Memphis. Florida brought you them.

11)Rocky Top > Orange and Blue

10) The Volunteer State gets its name for their citizens putting country before self. Whether it was the Tennesseans that stepped up to fight in the War of 1812, the Battle of New Orleans, or the Mexican-American War; Tennesseans have always been there to fight for their country. While the only war Florida has been a part of, has been this one.

9) Three men from Tennessee have held the highest office in the United States; Andrew Jackson, Andrew Johnson, and James K. Polk. While Floridians don't even know how to fill out ballots.

8) Tennessee is known worldwide for Jack Daniels and George Dickel, and it is enjoyed thoroughly at UT tailgates. Florida fans are known worldwide to drink wine coolers.

7) Tennessee women can drink liquor straight from a jar while Florida women can drink lard straight from a jar. Well thats my guess as to why Gator girls are carrying an extra 6-8 pounds on their arms.

6) Peyton Manning > Rex Grossman

5) We don't wear jorts, crocs, or sport mullets.

4) Tennessee has majestic mountains, rolling hills, fertile flatland. Florida takes pride in a Swamp.

3) If you live in Tennessee, you live and die for Saturdays in the fall. If you live in Florida, you root for the Yankees.

2) Tennessee could be considered the heart of the south as it touches land with Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia, and Kentucky (and Missouri). While Florida is America's wang.

1) Tennessee has won 6 national championships, have the Vol walk, Smokey, Davy Crockett, the running through the "T", and the Vol Navy. Florida didn't win games until the 70s.




The game is this Saturday at 3:30, and can be seen on CBS.