Men with pretentious tongues taste pumpkin beers

Everything the title suggests, this post has (men with serious tongues describing how beers taste like pumpkins):

Terrapin Beer Company's Pumpkinfest

Critic #1: The picture on the label is of a turtle farmer tapping a pumpkin and draining its insides into a small keg. I could taste the notes of pumpkin and spice, which, surprisingly, tasted of pumpkin and spice, but I'm not so sure if I could taste the craftsmanship of the delightful turtle farmer.

Critic #2: I definitely felt like I could taste some pumpkin.

cisco brewers' Pumple Drumkin

Critic #1: This Nantucket beer is the Communion wafer of pumpkin beers, in the Protestant sense. It's not so much about the literal presence of the pumpkin in the beer, but the symbolic remembrance that a pumpkin was once literally in the beer. Therefore, tasting the pumpkin flourish in this beer is an act of faith and the promise of a strong, earthly harvest.

Critic #2: There was some pumpkin, I think. The aftertaste was not what I was expecting. But I really only expected to taste pumpkin. I could taste the pumpkin. Have you had Starbucks' Pumpkin Spice Latte? It tastes like pumpkin.

New Holland Brewing's Ichabod Pumpkin Ale

Critic #1: In honor of its namesake, a sip of this ale feels like a flaming pumpkin was thrown down my open throat. However, as impossible as it may seem, the finish was quite smooth. So, as with so many Halloweens of yesteryear, this crisp beer was light on the trick and heavy on the treat.

Critic #2: Um, once again, I tasted pumpkin. Yep. Pumpkin.

Ithaca Beer Company's Country Pumpkin

Critic #1: The label of the beer is orange. The beer itself was orange. And the flavor may have also been orange. However, even my refined pallet struggled to determine whether the orange was of a burnt Texas consistency or a shade shy of New England's autumn trees. I may have also picked up on a hint of Shenandoah. Yes, I do believe there was a hint of Stonewall Jackson in the orange pumpkin aftertaste as it marched over my tongue and down my throat.

Critic #2: I don't really know what autumn trees taste like. But I kind of picked up on the pumpkin. I'm kind of ready for a Bud Light or a nap. Naps are good.


Bryan Harvey can be followed on Twitter @LawnChairBoys.