Dear Mom,
I wanted to write earlier, but I thought they might move me again; and you wouldn't know where to send your reply. Don't worry. I don't think they mean me any harm. It's actually a lot like summer camp, or a really long field trip.
In New York, we got to see the Statue of Liberty and Madison Square Garden. Then, they blindfolded us and took us down in the subway. I could tell it was the subway cause I could feel the bottled up heat and hear the screeching trains. We got on and off so many trains I'm not sure where we went, but when I got off the last train, I was in Memphis.
Well, I didn't know it was Memphis at the time, but the Elvis statue and the glass pyramid gave it away. I asked them if there were any pharaohs still in it, and they got real nervous and told me they never gave cash to anyone. They said they didn't believe in special privileges for anyone, even in death, including pharaohs, kings, or point guards. Besides learning that everyone in Memphis gets treated the same, I learned that there aren't any real grizzlies there. That surprised me cause I thought mascots were supposed to be factual.
Before leaving Memphis, we stopped to get some ribs. I went to the bathroom, and when I got back, my root beer tasted weird. I don't remember much after that, except waking up in an L.A. movie theatre. I felt a little groggy, but I think the movie was about 9 aliens. If I was an alien, I'd have antennas I could pull out of my head. I could tell you a lot more about L.A., but you would already know most of it cause I used to live there.
Next, we went to Minnesota. I thought we would get to see the Mall of America, which would have been epic cause it has a roller coaster inside of it. We didn't get to see it though. I was told too many people might notice me there, so we stayed in a hotel room and watched a special about the Mall of America on the Travel Channel. Did you know they don't even heat it? It's heated by the friction of all the people walking around in it. I learned about friction when I took that science class at DePaul.
I got bored in the hotel room, so they took me to the Judy Garland Museum, which was even more boring. No wonder she went to Oz. I fell asleep on the tour, which ends on South Beach, or, in layman's terms, Miami.
There's a bunch of us hanging out down here. They let us play video games and basketball. We don't really go outside that much, which is one reason Dwyane, my new best friend, says it sucks and he wants to go anywhere but here.
Your Son,
Q
In New York, we got to see the Statue of Liberty and Madison Square Garden. Then, they blindfolded us and took us down in the subway. I could tell it was the subway cause I could feel the bottled up heat and hear the screeching trains. We got on and off so many trains I'm not sure where we went, but when I got off the last train, I was in Memphis.
Well, I didn't know it was Memphis at the time, but the Elvis statue and the glass pyramid gave it away. I asked them if there were any pharaohs still in it, and they got real nervous and told me they never gave cash to anyone. They said they didn't believe in special privileges for anyone, even in death, including pharaohs, kings, or point guards. Besides learning that everyone in Memphis gets treated the same, I learned that there aren't any real grizzlies there. That surprised me cause I thought mascots were supposed to be factual.
Before leaving Memphis, we stopped to get some ribs. I went to the bathroom, and when I got back, my root beer tasted weird. I don't remember much after that, except waking up in an L.A. movie theatre. I felt a little groggy, but I think the movie was about 9 aliens. If I was an alien, I'd have antennas I could pull out of my head. I could tell you a lot more about L.A., but you would already know most of it cause I used to live there.
Next, we went to Minnesota. I thought we would get to see the Mall of America, which would have been epic cause it has a roller coaster inside of it. We didn't get to see it though. I was told too many people might notice me there, so we stayed in a hotel room and watched a special about the Mall of America on the Travel Channel. Did you know they don't even heat it? It's heated by the friction of all the people walking around in it. I learned about friction when I took that science class at DePaul.
I got bored in the hotel room, so they took me to the Judy Garland Museum, which was even more boring. No wonder she went to Oz. I fell asleep on the tour, which ends on South Beach, or, in layman's terms, Miami.
There's a bunch of us hanging out down here. They let us play video games and basketball. We don't really go outside that much, which is one reason Dwyane, my new best friend, says it sucks and he wants to go anywhere but here.
Your Son,
Q
PS If Dwyane leaves, this place will suck more than Minnesota, without the Mall of America.
6 comments:
This is exactly the idea that popped into my head after the last trade. Q's got at least 10 down payments on condos around the US and Canada.
August 22, 2009 at 11:09 AMI feel bad for the movers he hired. They are driving across the country, just about to get to the destination when they get a phone call to turn around. Then again, and again, and again.
August 22, 2009 at 11:12 AMWhat's the over/under on months it takes him to actually unpack?
August 22, 2009 at 11:13 AMWith all this travel, do you think he's reverted to staying in youth hostels yet and living out of a backpack?
August 22, 2009 at 11:26 AMLangston: I don't think he unpacks until the season actually starts. He may even wait until the All-Star break.
August 22, 2009 at 11:32 AMI bet he just goes to Walmart and buys a bunch of sweatpants and baggy t-shirts and simply sleeps at the Greyhound station in anticipation of another move.
August 23, 2009 at 11:36 AMPost a Comment