Tuesday Morning Relievers: Retreat, Rebuild, and Reclaim

We're back for our second edition of "TMR," where we do our best to recap the teams we love and the stories that captivated us the most in this week of baseball.

MLB 2010 Preview: Steroid Era

For our 2010 MLB preview, we're lumping teams into the eras we feel they most resemble. This will cause our rankings to look more like Power Rankings than Divisional rankings, but, like most things at LCB, I wouldn't take any of it too literally. Enjoy, comment, critique, lambast.

Truth Revealed: Wayne Brody is a Packer Fan

I found the following photo on Deadspin when I was reading up on why my team "sucks." Anyway, I want to draw your attention to the bearded man, wearing the baseball cap, with the red arrow pointing towards him.

I dare anyone to tell me that man, who is clearly draped in a Packers hoodie, is not Drody's father Wayne Brody. The Brody's are notoriously steadfast Bears fans, but this photo should shake them to their core, like Charlton Heston just handed them a human doll that talks.

Drody, please explain why your father is now a cheesehead, and, Mr. Brody, I always thought you were better than the Bears fan you pretended to be.

The number of the day is:

48, as in Dwyane Wade scored 48 points last night in a double-overtime thriller against the Bulls. He also added 12 assists, six boards, four steals, and three blocks. But back to those 48 points, they came on an amazing 15-21 shooting from the field. Making him just the second player in the history of the league (joining Wilt Chamberlain) to have that many points and assists, while having that high of a field goal percentage (71 %). He also shot well from the line (13-18) and was lights out from downtown (5-6). Oh and it just so happens that one of those steals and three of those points won the game for the Heat, 130-127.

Richard Daley is no cartographer

During a recent interview on Comcast's "Monsters in the Morning" Chicago mayor Richard Daley (inspired by the Arizona Cardinals ascension to the Super Bowl) decided to remind us of his advocacy for Chicago receiving another NFL franchise. Which is an understandable argument to bring up, considering Chicago has a population that could financially support a second franchise. Yet it is when he brought other cities and states into the debate that he showed his lack of geographical knowledge for our great nation:

"We should have a second NFL team in Chicago. If San Francisco has two, New York
has two, Florida has three teams … and when you take Washington, Baltimore and
Philadelphia, they have three teams there in that region, we could easily
support a second pro football team,..."

That is news to me, because last time I checked San Fransisco had one team in the 49ers. The Raiders play in a different city, although in close proximity it is a divided by a sizable body of water also known as the San Fransisco Bay. New York has only one team, there called the Buffalo Bills. New Jersey has two. Washington, Baltimore, and Philadelphia are three distinct cities with major populations of their own. Chicago is a big city in its own rite, at 228.443 square miles its not a city you can easily ignore. However comparing your fair city to a state the size of Florida probably isn't the best strategy for NFL growth in the Windy City.

King Daley, I can't imagine the Bears would be to excited about having to share the market with another franchise and without a team in Los Angeles I don't think you should expect Roger Goodell to agree with you anytime soon. So just keep up the good work on the environment, gun control , and the Olympics; but stay away from anything involving geography outside the state of Illinois. In summation, if you must get yourself into a conversation involving cities, states and/or countries you would benefit greatly by studying up and watching this show. It worked great for me in third grade, so I can imagine it would suit you just fine.

Drody's here and "We On"

I met this dude on a school bus, coming back from a track meet in Culpepper, Virginia. We didn't choose to sit together. We had to. We were freshmen on the team and had to take any seat we could get. I didn't know a thing about him, except that at basketball tryouts earlier that year we seemed to be guarding each other every drill. I remember those tryouts for two reasons. The first reason is that I spent a good amount of time afterwards puking my flu-ridden guts out into a toilet. The second reason is that those tryouts are the last time I wore my Rec-Specs. This kid next to me on the bus from Culpepper knew me as Rec-Specs. Our paths crossing once might have been coincidence. Our paths crossing twice might be described as fate. I think the conversation started, "Aren't you [Berndon's] little brother?" and that's how Harry met Lloyd.

During the 2000 Presidential election, Berndon's little brother and Rec-Specs stood outside of the Salem Elementary voting station chanting, "Nadernadernader...Nadernadernader!" not because we really cared if Ralph Nader defeated Al Gore or George W. Bush, but because his name was easier to chant and rhymed with cooler words like "Darth Vader" and "sooner or later."

We stood barechested for soccer games, covered in red paint, yelling trash talk that made weaker competitors want to quit their sports. "Shin splints" hurt. Some might call it obnoxious. Others might call it a movement.

We play football for toilet seats.

We stayed loud all the time. Some people thought we were drunk. Others knew we were just bored.

We tried the gallon challenge three times in my parents' basement, and this kid insisted on using chocolate milk; and when we failed for the third time, we tried a gallon of ice cream.

We have a strange affection for John Legend songs, and I'm not even talking about the good ones. I'm talking about songs where Kanye West raps from the perspective of his penis (how will we ever take him seriously?).

We are as a once famous voice message to Big A stated, "A Tribe of Idiots," and idiots hang onto the past because they don't know how to learn from the future, and I remember this kid on the bus next to me from Culpepper; and I can taste my first night of drunkenness (at Langston's), hear my first freestyle session (we still perform at weddings), and recall all the "so there's this girl" conversations (I feel like I had to include that last part just so people wouldn't think this is a love story between two dudes). This kid, who is the dumbest smart guy I know, the Charlie Brown to my Linus, the Belushi to my Aykroyd, The Beast to my Woverine will soon be posting on here. Read his stuff. Enjoy it. Learn from it, and know his name is Drody, the D R that once stood for "drunk" now stands for "Dr." I hope you got the patience cause "We On."


I figure there's nothing better for a Chicago sports fan than a Chicago anthem by two of Chicago's finest. Congratulations on the engagement, brother.

Mark Cuban facing charges from the SEC

The Securities and Exchange Commission filed insider-trading charges against Mark Cuban. The charges stem from when Cuban sold his entire 6% ownership stake immediately after learning that Mamma.com was raising money through a public investment in private entity, or PIPE. (FYI: In a PIPE, shares are issued at a discount. Which shafts the investor who already owns stock in the company, because once it is officially announced the stocks take a dive due to the dilution of the shares and voting rights of pre-PIPE investors.) When the markets opened the morning of June 30, 2004 shares of the company dropped by 9%.

By selling his stake, Mr. Cuban avoided more than $750,000 in losses, the SEC alleges. price. The complaint makes clear that Cuban was furious about the planned sale and from the sound of it his legendary anger got the best of him. Which led him to a rash decision and may result in serious civil fines. At this time, there is no word if the Justice Department will seek criminal charges .

This is terrible news for Cub fans, as it could be the final nail in the coffin for his chances at buying the Cubs. Tribune Co. CEO Sam Zell is saying he'd like to have the Cubs sold by year's end. Couple that with his new legal issues, and it puts a huge obstacle for his chances to pull together the $1.3 Billion needed to buy the Cubs. Personally I think he has the ability of being a great owner. Not just for the Cubs and city of Chicago, but for MLB as well.

For the full story, check out Wall Street Journal

The number of the day is:

0, as in there are zero days until the NBA season starts. The season kicks off with banner night in Boston, which has the Celtics playing a bad NCAA team. The second half of the doubleheader has karaoke enthusiast Greg Oden and the Blazers matching up with rainmaker Andrew Bynum and the Lakers. The coverage starts at 8 pm on TNT. Elsewhere in the league, Richard Jefferson makes his debut for Milwaukee against the Vinny Del Negro led Chicago Bulls.

F My Life, Volume 75

So two nights ago was like Christmas Eve. I was so excited and keyed up about the Cubbies making the playoffs and having Home-Field that I literally couldn't sleep. I have believed all season that there was something different this year about this team, and that after 100 years without a championship, this was the season where all the stupid curses would be put to rest. Zambrano's no-hitter, along with countless other moments throughout the six month grind made me believe that this was something different. I decided to wear Cubs shirts every gameday of the playoffs. I went to Gamer's and bought a score book to commemorate every game along what I hoped would be a championship journey. I bought a 12 pack of Budweiser cans to summon the ghost of Harry Carry, knowing this was his beer of choice as he got tanked and rambled on for nine innings when I was little. It all went to shit with one pitch.


James Loney is probably a nice guy, but I honestly wouldn't have minded if he got hit by a bus after the game. That grand slam silenced the sell-out crowd and made me feel as though someone kicked me in the stomach. Dempster pitched like shit, but he somehow wiggled his way out of trouble until the 5th, where like Langston stated earlier, he tempted fate one time too often and paid the price. Despite all the gloom and doom, we can still win the series. Here are 5 things that need to happen in order for the Cubbies to get off the mat and advance.

1. Big Z needs to be a hero: Zambrano's first half was the most controlled and consistent I've ever seen him pitch. His second half was terribly inconsistent, ranging from a dominant no-hitter to getting shelled on a regular basis. He had some arm problems, but when everything is right, he is the Cubs ace. He needs to come out and dominate tonight, setting the tone and quieting all the doom and gloom that Cubs fans inevitably are feeling right now. If he gets shelled, all bets are off.

2. Soriano needs to put the team on his back: Fonz is the catalyst of the offense. We have some extremely gifted hitters, but no one who can dominate and carry the team except for Soriano. When he's hot and hitting line drives, everything else seems to flow into place. When he's swinging at bullshit pitches and chasing everything in the dirt, the life seems to drift out of everyone else's bats. He needs to get it going, and get it going quick.

3. Wrigley fans need to stop acting like they're scared: The vibe last night was one of "Oh shit, here we go again." Instead of waiting for something bad to happen, they need to be confident and raucous from the start. Stop waiting for them to F up, stop waiting for Bartman 2.0, and show that you're team had the best record in the National League and that you know they're going to keep advancing. This is the best team we've had in years, and after winning 97 in the regular season, all we have to do is win 11 more. Start acting like it.

4. Keep the webgems coming: This team has played great D all season, yet they made some boneheaded plays late in the year that can't happen. Fukudome and Soriano made great plays last night, and knowing that everybody's favorite head case is on the mound, they need to help his confidence by making plays behind him.

5. Don't let Manny hurt you: Manny's homerun last night was basically a golf swing. With the Dodgers lineup, he's the only one who scares me. He should not see anything close to the strike zone. Make the other hitters beat you, keep Furcal off base, and you're going to win game 2.

I'm still confident, but last night definitely was a stomach punch. We've comeback all season long, so we're not out of it yet. All it takes is one.

Dodgers-Cubs game 1 recap

Ryan Dempster had a rough night to say the least. He had location issues start to trouble him in the third and in the end it would end up burning him and the Cubs. Dempster entered the game untouchable at home with a 14-3 record at Wrigley. But the consistency that helped him shut down opponents in the Windy City was not there tonight as he lasted only four and two thirds, walked seven, gave up four runs on four hits, and struck out only two.

He tempted fate twice, and when you tempt fate enough it will come to haunt you. In the third he loaded up the bases by giving up two walks and a hustle single to Manny Ramirez, but fought off the Dodger bats by getting Russell Martin to fly out to left and striking out Andre Ethier.

In the fifth inning the location issues continued with Dempster, leading him to load the bases again. This time on three walks. Then came tonight's hero, James Loney, who came up to the plate with the bases loaded and two outs. Dempster got a quick jump on Loney, running the count to 1-2, but then lightening struck. It struck in form of a beautifully hit grand slam to center field which was helped by the wind. The grand slam put the Dodgers ahead 4-2, it was also L.A.'s first in postseason play since Dusty Baker accomplished the feat on Oct. 5, 1977.

The Cubs scored earlier in the second on a two-run home run by Mark DeRosa. A fly to right, also helped greatly by the prevailing winds from left field. But the grand slam by Loney, silenced the already eerily quiet Cub fans for good. The Cubs would not come close to coming back in this one.

Derek Lowe pitched consistently through 6 innings, allowing 2 runs on 7 hits, striking out 6, and walking one. Manny Ramirez and Russell Martin both added solo home runs. The other run was added after Blake Dewitt was singled in by Casey Blake and his awesome beard. The blast that Manny hit was his 25th postseason home run, an MLB record. He also hit it on a bad pitch, one that was at the level of his shoe laces. A pitch most hitters would pass on and it would be a good idea to do so. But Manny's mix of power, timing, and balance sent the ball to left center. Pretty impressive and yet inexplicable in my opinion.

For me the best part of this game came in the bottom of the ninth, when Greg Maddux entered the game in relief of Jonathan Broxton. The Cubs fans rose up and gave him a nice ovation. He went through the inning rather quickly in typical Maddux fashion, with two ground outs and a line out to first by Alphonso Soriano(who finished the game 0-5). It was just an inning of work, but it still gets me excited to have him on the team. It also seemed like the perfect ending to a great game one.

The Dodgers took away home field advantage tonight, winning 7-2. They now lead the series 1-0, and teams that won Game 1 of the NLDS have gone 23-3 in the Wild Card era. The next game is tomorrow at 9:30 and can be seen on TBS.

The number of the day is:

16, for the amount of innings the Chicago Cubs went without allowing a single hit against the Houston Astros. Yesterday Carlos Zambrano became the first pitcher to pitch a no-hitter at a neutral site. Not to be outdone,Ted Lilly did his best to match Z's no-no today. Lilly pitched seven great innings striking out 9, walking one and allowing a lone hit. The Cubs bullpen finished the game off, without allowing another hit. The 6-1 victory over the Astros moves the Cubs to a 7.5 game lead over the struggling Brewers. Also of note, the Brewers fired Ned Yost today. The Cubs magic number is now 7.

2008 NFL Season Preview: Chicago Bears #26

Team: Chicago Bears


Division: NFC North


Last Year's Record: 7-9


Head Coach: Lovie Smith


Offensive Coordinator: Ron Turner


Defensive Coordinator: Bob Babich


Schedule: Sept. 7 @ Indianapolis (NBC) 8:15
Sept. 14 @ Carolina (Fox) 1:00
Sept. 21 Tampa Bay (Fox) 1:00
Sept. 28 Philadelphia (NBC) 8:15
Oct. 5 @ Detroit (Fox) 1:00
Oct. 12 @ Atlanta (Fox) 1:00
Oct. 19 Minnesota (Fox) 1:00
Oct. 26 Open Date
Nov. 2 Detroit (Fox) 1:00
Nov. 9 Tennessee (CBS) 1:00
Nov. 16 @ Green Bay (Fox) 1:00
Nov. 23 @ St. Louis (Fox) 1:00
Nov. 30 @ Minnesota (NBC) 8:15
Dec. 7 Jacksonville (CBS) 1:00
Dec. 11 New Orleans (NFL) 8:15
Dec. 22 Green Bay (ESPN) 8:30
Dec. 28 @ Houston (Fox) 1:00



Key Losses: Mushin Muhammed
Reuben Brown
Brendan Ayanbadejo
Bernard Berrian
Fred Miller
Adam Archuleta (haha, I put that one up just to make myself laugh, he is literally the worst safety in football and whatever team picks him up, their gm probably has down syndrome)

Key Additions: Marty Booker
Brandon Lloyd (Wow, way to get Rex some weapons boys).



General Disclaimer: The Bears are my favorite team, ever since I was a young Irish kid growing up on the South Side of Chicago. I actually went as Jim McMahon for Halloween one year. If at any point during my "objective" breakdown of the team sounds either cynical and bitter, or if I sound like a gigantic homer, specifically while praising Devin Hester, now you know why. If you want objective writing and analysis, read all my other team previews.



Offensive Breakdown: Rex Grossman is at this point like that hot girlfriend that will do something awesome for you like bake you cookies for no apparent reason, or buy you new golf clubs, but then she turns around and cheats on you with one of your friends or throws a tantrum in public. Shitty analogy, but he has an extremely strong arm, and when he was on fire for about the first 10 weeks of the 2006 season, he can actually resemble a quality NFL quarterback. There is plenty of bad to go along with the good however, and the Bears did not help him this offseason by letting his two best receivers walk for the craptastic tandem of Marty Booker and Brandon Lloyd (who was so shitty and such a deusche on the Skins he never saw the field). I for one, think that Kyle Orton is the better play at QB. He lacks Grossman's gun, but he doesn't turn the ball over and the whole team loves to play for him. Cedric Benson is thankfully gone, taking his drinking problem elsewhere. Another high draft pick that simply did not pan out, Benson was never really accepted in Chitown, so while he, like Grossman, showed flashes of brillance( ok maybe not brillance, but at least competence), its probably for the best that he's no longer in the fold. From all accounts, Matt Forte has looked pretty good in OTA's. The other Adrian Peterson is still here, and he runs hard and does a good job catching the ball out of the backfield. Garrett Wolfe is smaller than me, but he also made some big catches later on in the season.

The biggest headache for the Bears seems to be at Wide Receiver. Losing the Moose is bad, but losing Berrian to a division rival is unacceptable. The Bears decided to cover this up by picking up Marty Booker, who was the team's best reciever 6 years ago. To top it all off, they signed Brandon Lloyd, who truly sucks. On the positive side(if there is one), Mark Bradley has shown flashes of potential when he stays healthy. There is also the next great number 23 in Chicago, who can hopefully gain a little more polish and become a better receiver than last year. Earl Bennett and Marcus Monk are rookies from SEC schools that are both intriging, and may get more reps as the season goes on, and the team realizes the others suck balls.

In contrast to the receiver situation, Tight End looks to be a strong point. Greg Olsen showed that he can stretch the field in his rookie season, and Desmond Clark is about as steady as they come. The Offensive Line looked old and fragile for much of the season as they gave up way too many sacks, and could never be consistent in the run game. Olin Kreutz is still the anchor at Center, with Roberto Garza and John Tait back to man the right side. First Rouner Chris Williams was a badly needed upgrade at LT, but the line still is a question.

I don't even want to think about how bad the offense could potentially be, but if things break right, they could suprise people.

Defensive Breakdown: Alright, this is where I'll probably start to sound like a homer. The defense still looks very good, if not scary good. Maybe the Bears can catch lightning in a bottle and ride this unit to the playoffs, with all of the playmakers back on this side of the ball. The Defensive Line retains all three DE's, as they made it priority number one to resign Alex Brown. Brown played better as the season went on, eventually taking Mark Anderson out of the lineup. The rotation of these two, plus Adewale Ogunleye can all get to the QB, and also make plays in the running game. The trio combined for 18.5 sacks, with Ogunleye leading the team with 9. Tommie Harris looks to comeback from injury to regain his pro bowl form from two seasons ago. Playing on one leg last year, he was still better than the majority of DT's in the league. Dusty Dvoracek got hurt in the opener against San Diego, but he has the size and intensity to plug holes and let Urlacher and Briggs make plays.

A common theme with the defensive unit seems to be injuries. Brian Urlacher is still the face of the franchise, but he looked old and slow at times. Lance Briggs is still a tackling machine, and if these two are healthy the defense will be outstanding. Hunter Hillenmeyer also provides a steady influence outside.

I sound like a broken record at this point, but another Bear who needs to avoid the injury bug is FS Mike Brown. He's a pro-bowl caliber player, but gets injured every single year. Nathan Vasher and Peanut Tillman are a good, if not great tandem at corner, while Ricky Manning Jr. needs to regain his form from two years ago, and also not call people fags and get into fights at Denny's. The other safety spot should be taken up by either Brandon McGowan or Danieal Manning, two youngsters who will give up some big plays, but also make their fair share of them. Anything is an upgrade from Archuleta's stupid ass.

My Bears Special team's analysis could basically be summed up as follows: Devin Hester is really good, Devin Hester is really good, Devin Hester is really good. Like MJ, and Ryne Sandberg before him, he has already taken his place as another superstar number 23 in the city of broad shoulders. Robbie "Good as" Gould is one of the best kickers in the NFC. My only knack on him is that he doesn't have the killer leg strength to bust out a Field Goal from 50 plus yards. He did make 31-36 last year, and never misses the chippies. Brad Maynard shares my number and kicks a football a lot further than I do. One key loss here is All-Pro Brendan Ayanbadejo, who anchored the kick coverage units and made a lot of plays.

Position Grades:Quarterback: (C-) This grade could be a lot higher if Orton or Grossman can show any level or consistency.

Running Back: (C): AP is steady, and if they get anything from Forte they might be ok here.
Wide Reciever: (D-): This is probably the worst unit in the league. I'd say just throw 55 screen passes to Hester a game.
Tight End: (B+): Olsen and Clark are both more than capable, and I look for Olsen to have a breakout season.
Offensive Line: (C+): If Williams proves himself as a worthy first-round pick on the left side, the line could smash and mash like the Bear teams of old.
Defensive Line: (A-): The only question mark is Dvoracek. This unit should be able to get to the quarterback and then some.
Linebackers: (B+): Urlacher has to prove he hasn't lost a step.
Defensive Backs: (B): Vasher and Tillman should get a lot of picks from the amout of pressure the team generates. All of these guys are steady tacklers in the running game.
Special Teams: (A-): Until someone proves they can stop Hester, this is one of the best units in all of football.

Season Outlook: I've been actually dreading the start of football season just because I thought the Bears were going to be really, really shitty. "At least the Cubs are going to win the World Series," was my common quote when asked about it. I've been slowly and surely talking myself into the season however, and I feel like if things break right, this could be 9-10 win team. The defense will be great, as long it isn't on the field 3/4 of the game. If Mark Bradley, Earl Bennett, Marcus Monk, and Hester do anything at WR, look for this team to sneak into the playoffs. If not, then like I said, there's always the Cubbies.

Langston's Take: The Bears have yet another season to deal with the Jekyll and Hyde at QB. With Benson out as RB, the Bears have a great chance to take steps in the right direction.

Kerry Wood Salutes You

The Chicago Cubs have been absolutely dominant at home with a record of 33-10, they rarely lose in Wrigley. The exact opposite can be said for the Cubbies on the road, with a horrendous record of 16-23. This played out yet again this past week, where the Cubbies swept their crosstown rival the White Sox 3-0 at home. Then inexplicably lost 3 straight this past weekend at US Cellular Stadium against the aformentioned White Sox. Kerry Wood showed all of the Cubbies frustration in one beautifully timed clip.

As seen on Hugging Harold Reynolds

He Gone

In the past we have shown videos of fans fighting, but its usually between a fan from each team beating eachother up for there differing opinions on (insert star players name here). This video shows us how Chicago Cubs and Chicago White Sox fans can band together to beat up a drunkard.




Busted Coverage had the video and the back story to this great moment of unity.

The Sox fan near the pole was talking trash from the beginning, so in the 4th inning he started talking about the guy in the Thome Jersey’s “family”…then an old guy stepped up and off they went…

A good minute goes by with no security, the guy gets owned by a bunch of cubs and sox fans.

he still fights the security…continues struggling, as his eye is black and swelling shut, they handcuff him throw his shirt over his head and get him out of there.

I don't know whats better the fact that they got together to beat up douche staley or that the security pulled his shirt over his head ala Kenny Wu of the Mighty Ducks. Either way, good job Chicago sports fans.

Chi-towns Managers

Lou Pinella and Ozzie Guillen, the two managers of Chicagos two baseball teams are known for being intense guys that like to curse. So you would think that could translate into rap pretty easily, but you would be wrong.

Hey WGN that is not good stuff, that is the exact opposite of good stuff.