A conversation about the 2015-16 AFC North

With a few hours to spare, here's our last attempt to preview the NFL season. Previous discussions can be found for the following divisions: AFC East, NFC East, AFC West, NFC West, AFC South, NFC South, and NFC North. What  follows from here is a look at the AFC North:

Welcome to Cleveland!

Cleveland Browns

2010 AFC North Preview

Baltimore Ravens (9-7 last year)
Psychological Report: In his rookie year, Joe Flacco threw 14 touchdowns to 12 interceptions.  In his second year, that ratio improved when he threw 21 touchdowns to 12 interceptions.  His coach, John Harbaugh, marked his growth, in pencil, on the doorframe of his bedroom, and receivers around the League began to take notice of more than just his eyebrows.  Derrick Mason, who contemplated retirement last offseason, rushed back just to hang with Joe, and Anquan Boldin decided that for the next four years it would be a good idea to go steady with Joe; and Joe still has classes with Michael Clayton and Todd Heap and has been spotted flirting with Donte Stallworth.  Aside from the occasional cracking of his voice, life is good for Joe.

Diagnosis: Everyone goes through puberty, and it can be awkward; but it does not last forever.  There comes a time when a boy must become a man.  This transition can be daunting, but for it to occur, it is important that an individual such as Joe to move beyond imprinting as a way to target receivers and that in cluctch situations he move beyond impulsive aggression.

Treatment: While one can easily become enamored with girlfriends and wide receivers, it is important to remain grounded.  During puberty an individual's relationships with peers and siblings can be critical to one's development, which is why Joe must maintain a steady grip upon his id and continue to develop his friendship with Ray Rice, his best friend, who was drafted in the same year and was second in the League last year in yards from scrimmage.


Offensive Rating: A Mississippi riverboat, efficient in its elegance, whose lifespan could be derailed by the locomotive.

Defensive Rating: The Great Wall of China because it is still the only manmade landmark visible from space despite the fact that local farms pillage its raw materials. 


Cincinnati Bengals (11-5 last year)
Psychological Report: The voices started innocent enough.  First there was Chad Johnson saying, "Hey, Carson, wanna see me dance?" and Carson was okay with that.  The other voice was Rudi, and he was barely noticeable.  TJ hung out for a little while, but then he skipped town, while Chad developed a secret identity.  Then Cedric showed up, and Rudi was dead.  Then T.O. showed up and the secret identity, Ochocinco, developed secret identities of his own: Batman and Robin, Siskel and Ebert, Bonnie and Clyde.  All the while, other voices kept calling out Hey, Carson! and Carson began to worry.

Diagnosis: One of schizophrenia's early symptoms is hearing one's name being called, and at first, that's how Carson Palmer's case was diagnosed, but then he admitted that Ochocinco and T.O. were both plotting to become the quarterback in order to throw touchdowns to themselves, which suggests a hostile take over of the offense's brain, or in other words, multiple personality disorder.

Treatment: The personalities and voices are here to stay; each one has a contract, but what Carson can do is establish the reciprocity norm within the locker room in order to confront any self-serving biases.


Offensive Rating: A juggling clown that hops a unicycle through flaming hoops

Defensive Rating: A rattlesnake


Cleveland Browns (5-11 last year)
Psychological Report: At what point does everything that has happened to the city of Cleveland just boil down to self-fulfilling prophecy?  Do they not seem to predict their own misfortune?  In 2009, this team began the season 1-11.  In seven of those losses, they lost by at least nine points.  They then won four games in a row, but against four non-Playoff teams.   Pull up any other statistic from the 2009 season and it will show the masochistic tendencies of this organization, which only appear to have slowed down with the hiring of Mike Holmgren.  

Diagnosis: When the Cleveland Browns left for Baltimore, the team might have been slightly sociopathic, but what's returned in its place displays none of the hostilities towards the city's hopes dreams and none of the tendencies to torture the city with horrifying Playoff moments.  No, what returned in its place is a mere, lifeless replica of what once was.  In other words, Cleveland is now home to the lobotomized Browns, stumbling, drooling, and utterly zombie-like.


Treatment: For the time being, primary reinforcers, such as food and water, are all that can be offered, but at some point, desperation will call for electroshock therapy.

Offensive Rating: A penny at the bottom of a well.


Defensive Rating: Swiss cheese left in a hot car.

Pittsburgh Steelers (9-7 last year)
Psychological Report: Ben Roethlisberger has more Super Bowl rings than either Brett Favre or Peyton Manning.  Ben Roethlisberger has crashed a motorcycle without wearing a helmet.  Ben Roethlisberger plays quarterback courageously, without regard to his own safety.  Ben Roethlisberger's teammates question his toughness and dedication.  Ben Roethlisberger is a good ol' boy.  Ben Roethlisberger might be a rapist.  Ben Roethlisberger has the confidence to conduct game winning drives.  Ben Roethlisberger  makes himself feel better by buying shots for everyone in the bar just so they know he's important.  Ben Roethlisberger has never been to Disney World because he has never been Super Bowl MVP, both Peyton Manning and Brett Favre have.  If Ben Roethlisberger did go to Disney World, he would hit on Daisy Duck, not Minnie.


Diagnosis: Who does Big Ben think he is?  Who does he want to be?  The way he lives life is like he does not even realize that his nickname is derived from a clock, that there is a moment when time runs out on all the people one could have been and one is who he is.  Ben Roethlisberger, at the moment, is not his ideal self, but he is one of his possible selves; and that possible self is far from any true manifestation of self-actualization.

Treatment: Ben Roethlisberger needs to take a backseat to Hines Ward and Mike Wallace.  Even more so, he needs to take a back seat to Rashard Mendenhall and Mewelde Moore because Ben Roethlisberger is currently a mediocre man lost amongst his own potential greatness.

Offensive Rating: An albatross in the Disney sense, meaning flight is quite possible, but landings remain difficult.

Defensive Rating: A brick wall, that with Polamalu back gets an addition of barbed wire.


Feel free to add any opinions, predictions, or actual analysis in our comments section.

2009 AFC North Division Preview

In the past, we broke down every team in detail before the start of the season, but this year we decided to view each division as a dysfunctional American family and base our predictions off their family trees.

Family Portrait:

Place of Residence:

Everything about the AFC North residence echoes with the clanging of horseshoes, the snorting of mules, the strutting of chickens, the rustling of dirt, and the hammering of nails. The air is heavy with work, and the house, located only a few yards from the barn, is a modest two story building that's been in the family for generations, through the addition of a second story, electricity, and indoor plumbing. Paul Brown laid the foundation. Chuck Noll built the stairs to the second floor with his own hands. Bill Cowher gutted the walls and filled them with copper pipes, while Boomer Esiason and Ray Lewis lit the house up, catching lightning in bottles.

Vacation Spot:

This family does not go on vacation. Repairs to the barn's roof or a new coat of paint on the house are always needed, and the herd of cattle that has produced seven blue ribbon steers won't mend any fences. The closest this family comes to a vacation is going to Pittsburgh for farm supplies. For the AFC North, work is an end in and of itself.

Favorite Pastime:

If the family finishes all their daily chores before sunset, then they meet out back of the barn to box one another, bare-fisted. The AFC North boxing matches are the American equivalent of the Roman Coliseum. Ray Lewis and Terrell Suggs are rumored to have killed a man with their bare hands behind that barn and disposing of the corpse by feeding it to the family pigs. Mike Tomlin can knock a man cold with his bug-eyed stare, and the family cousins howl and bark like a pack of wild dogs, while the youngest sibling Chad Johnson sneaks off to the woods for sips of moonshine, leaving his twin brother Carson Palmer alone to deal with the knuckles and teeth of Troy Polamalu and Shaun Rogers.

Teach's Prediction:

A family as stoic in their daily life as the AFC North doesn't change much from year to year. The Stillers will win the division again. Mike Tomlin appears to be the next long-tenured coach for Pittsburgh, and at his age, that means he could still be coaching the Stillers when my grandchildren start watching football, which will be awesome if his intense stare can be matched by his senility. Baltimore should finish second once more in the second year of the John Harbaugh era. The only uncertainty I see is who finishes last between Cincinnati and Cleveland. Both of these teams are riddled with questions of substance and frivolity. The one I most want answered is whether Braylon Edwards' use of 5-hour Energy is why he failed his physical for Cleveland.

Langston's Prediction:

When this family meets up on the holidays, it is a site to behold. The bickering starts well before they actually see each other, and every year it's the same discussion. The Steelers brag about how well Ben is doing in school and how he won the spelling bee, all while he was the starting pitcher for the little league all-star team. While the Raven clan answer with "Well our boy got straight B's, and he went to the semi's of the spelling bee. But got tripped up by 'Pennsylvania' leaving the second N out of the word." Then there is the Bengals and the Browns, who are struggling the most out of the four families. Cincy's son was suspended for fighting and bringing a knife to school. Much like Cincy's kid, Cleveland's will have to repeat. But for different reasons, their son missed most of the year due to mono.

Ben and his family are pretty excited about the school year, he was just put in to the magnet program and is expected to exceed. Baltimore's son Flacco has been put into the honor's courses, and should do okay as long as he finds someone to cheat off of other than Derrick Mason. The Bengals and Browns are nervous about the upcoming school year, as they should be. They don't know how their sons are going to react to being a year behind their cousins. And with the departure of their two favorite teachers, Mr. Houshmandzadeh and Mr. Winslow, passing will become that much harder.

Redskins sign Hall

The NFL Network is reporting the Washington Redskins have reached agreement on a one-year contract with cornerback DeAngelo Hall.

In under a week, Hall has gone from a celler dweller of the AFC West to a contender in the NFC East. According to ProFootballTalk.com the contract is said to be the same prorated $1 million salary he would have received if he had stayed in Oakland. It also contains a commitment that the Redskins won’t use the franchise tag on Hall in 2009.

The Skins should welcome Hall with open arms as Shawn Springs has struggled with injuries this season, and has managed to only play in four games. The Redskins have a bye this week and will host the Cowboys on Nov. 16.

Other NFL news:

• Brady Quinn looked spectacular in his debut, throwing for 239 yards and 2 touchdowns. However his effort wasn't enough as Cutler tore apart the Cleveland secondary by throwing for 447 yards and 3 touchdowns. Cutler did most of his damage in the fourth quarter, which included a 92 yard TD pass to Eddie Royal and a 11 yard TD pass to Brandon Marshall with 1:14 remaining. The Broncos won the shoot-out 34-30.
  


• Cornerback Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, the Cardinals’ first-round draft pick out of Tennessee State, is slated to start this weekends game at corner. Rodgers-Cromartie has started three games this season when the Cardinals used their nickel package to start the game, but now Rodgers-Cromartie will be a fixture in the base defense.
  


• Steelers running back Willie Parker, who returned to action on Monday night after missing several games with a knee injury, won’t play on Sunday against the Colts, according to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. The injury is to his should which Parker sustained in the game against Washington.

Brady time in Cleveland?

Last season Derek Anderson led the Browns to a 10-6 record and was a Pro Bowler. His emergence as Pro Bowl caliber quarterback brought optimism to Cleveland and it probably saved Romeo Crennel's job as head coach. This season has done a 180 turn in play. He has been shaky since the beginning of the season, with a 46.2 % completion percentage and 43.5 QB rating, and it doesn't look like he will get to many chances to change those numbers. Cleveland Browns' coach Romeo Crennel won't say he's benching Anderson for this week's Ohio battle with the Bengals, but did say Quinn will get "more reps in practice" this week. It looks as it is the beginning of the end for the Anderson era in Cleveland. As some NFL scouts have noted, this is long overdue:

“If you gave me a choice between Quinn and (Derek) Anderson, I’d go with Quinn. We just see a bigger upside there."

“We’ve thought (Quinn) was the real deal going through our (pre-draft) evaluations, and nothing has changed that. But you’d have to be suicidal to just throw away a Pro Bowler for potential. That’s not how this game works.”

Anderson had an amazing season last year, and it placed the Cleveland front office in a tough but enviable position. A lot of teams would love to have this problem, as the NFL is short on talented QBs. But it is definitely time for the Browns to move on. They drafted Brady Quinn after giving up the farm to acquire him. He's had time to learn from the sidelines and has looked spectacular when he has played. He will give the Browns a chance to win every Sunday. Anderson had his chance and in no way is it working. Anderson is going through what some call a "crisis of confidence" and an 0-3 team, doesn't have the time or patience to deal with a problem like that. Its time for Cleveland to move forward into the Brady Quinn era.

Cleveland.com: QB quandary What's wrong with Anderson?

2008 NFL Season Preview: #8 Cleveland Browns

Division: AFC North
Last Years Record: 10-6
Head Coach: Romeo Crennel
Offensive Coordinator: Rob Chudzinski
Defensive Coordinator: Mel Tucker

Key Additions:
DT Corey Williams
G Rex Hadnot
WR Donte Stallworth
DT Shaun Rogers

Key Losses:
CB Leigh Bodden
WR Tim Carter
DT Ethan Kelley
LB Chaun Washington

Offensive Breakdown:
Last season the Cleveland Browns reached double digits in victories for the first time since 1994. With a 10-6 record, they tied for the division lead but missed the playoffs due to their inability to beat their hated division rival, the Pittsburgh Steelers. It is a brutal rivalry that I got to know in that 1994 season. We had just moved to a suburb of Cleveland from Hawaii, we lived in Brook Park about a block away from the Browns old practice facility. The team was led by a future "genius" in Bill Belichick and was full of studs(at least in this 11 year-old's mind) like Vinny Testaverde, Eric Metcalf, Michael Jackson(the wide receiver not the pederast), Pepper Johnson, a young Keenan McCardell, and an old Earnest Byner. It was a weird time to move to Cleveland; the city was being rejuvenated by the building of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and the openings of Jacobs Field and Gund Arena (say that really fast). But the Browns needed a new football stadium and their owner Art Modell felt slighted because the politicians were ignoring his plea for a new stadium. A year later the news was announced that the Browns would leave, at that point we had already moved on to Rhode Island, but the pain I felt for the fans was very real. Everyone in Cleveland did not like the Cavaliers or the Indians, but everyone I met was a Brown fan and their team of 50 years was stolen from them. I can imagine last seasons fantastic run healed a lot of wounds, but I know Art Modell will never be welcomed in Cleveland again. In defense of Art Modell, the Cleveland politicians are as much to blame for the Browns removal from Cleveland. They had just given the Indians and Cavaliers a new stadium, built a new mall adjacent with Gund Arena, a new science museum, and built the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. All the while ,the Browns wishes were ignored. The city would eventually get their franchise back and this time the city would hold ownership, so that their beloved Browns would never leave again. In 1999, the Browns and their fans finally got a new stadium to call home.

The first couple years in the new stadium were forgettable, the Browns would go through QB after QB looking for the next Brian Sipe or Bernie Kosar. All they needed was someone who could play with some consistency.The Browns found that starting quarterback they had been looking for since their rebirth in 1999. Derek Anderson took over as the starting quarterback after the second quarter of the first game, when starter Charlie Frye's ineffectiveness got him pulled from the game. As Charlie Frye was warming the bench in Seattle, Derek Anderson in his first start (the second game of the season) was busy throwing for 328 yards and five touchdowns. His passer rating for the game was an astounding 121.0 as the Browns defeated the Cincinnati Bengals 51-45, solidifying Anderson's role. Anderson finished the season with a 10-5 record and 29 touchdown passes(just one shy of Brian Sipes 1980 record of 30). Anderson's remarkable rise would have its bumps and bruises throughout the season, he threw 19 interceptions as he tried to force throws far to often. In 2007, Anderson was basically a rookie and should improve with the experience he has gained and the work he put into his short passes in the off season.

Jamal Lewis' season may have been as unpredictable as Andersons', it looked as if his best seasons were behind him. The Browns took a one-year chance on Lewis and it paid off well. Jamal Lewis' often carried the team on his back down the stretch as he ran for 1,304 yards. In the off season he was rewarded with a new three-year deal worth $17 million. If the former 2000 yard rusher can match his exploits of last season, the Browns will be playing in January. He is joined in the backfield by fullback Lawrence Vickers, who takes out linebackers with authority and can run the ball well when needed(8 0f 9, on 3rd and 1 last season). Jason Wright and Jerome Harrison are valuable backups to Lewis. Wright knows his role as a change of pace player and plays it well.

The Browns did very little in the off season to mess with the offense but they did make one signing that should help Braylon Edwards immensely. They signed wide receiver Donte Stallworth to start opposite of Edwards, Stallworth will be the downfield threat to open the middle for Edwards and tight end Kellen Winslow Jr. This should also help when the Browns go to three receiver sets, as Joe Jurevicius could be dangerous out of the slot. The acquisition will help the Browns control the ball more on offense, giving their defense more rest and should result in more production in the redzone. Kellen Winslow Jr. is the starting tight end and in the off season went through his usual knee surgery, that has been common place since his motorcycle accident. Kellen Winslow Jr. has developed into one of the most consistent tight ends in the NFL, but he is consistently playing with pain and there is no telling how long he can manage to play through it. As a precautionary measure the Browns drafted tight end Marcus Rucker out of Missouri, he is a pass catching tight end and should offer some stability.

The offensive line deserves a lot credit for the Browns ressurgence, they allowed only only 14 sacks on Anderson in his 15 starts. The line is stacked with Joe Thomas at left tackle, Eric Steinbach at left guard, Hank Fraley at center, Ryan Tucker at right guard, and Kevin Shaffer at right tackle. They formed a wall for Anderson to do his job worry free. Depth is not an issue in Cleveland as they signed Rex Hadnot in free agency as a utility backup. Seth McKinney and Lennie Friedman who were both resigned are good guard/center backups. The only question is how healthy is LeCharles Bentley, who signed a monster deal in 2006 and subsequently tore his right patellar tendon. He has not played since, if he can play it will add even more depth to a deep line.

Defensive Breakdown:
The Browns biggest goal in the off season was to fortify its defensive line. Phil Savage came through with the acquistions of Shaun Rogers and Corey Williams, both are coming off of seven sack performances. In Romeo Crennel's 3-4 defense, the lineman don't need to rack up stats. All they need to do is tie up the offensive lineman so the linebackers can act as the playmakers. Both acquisitions should have no problem with eating up space. They will joined by Robaire Smith and Shaun Smith in a four-man rotation, to give each man plenty of time to rest. This should help the defense improve against the run (allowed 4.5 yards per carry last season). The only worry is the depth, if any of the aformentioned lineman get injured for an extended period of time, the Browns' plan will be ruined.

The linebacking core should benefit from the improved defensive line, especially inside linebackers Andra Davis and D'Qwell Jackson. Andra slipped last season as he saw his tackles drop from 133 to 104, but some of that can be attributed to Leon Williams playing more. Expect Williams to get more playing time, as Davis will be a free agent at the end of the season. Kamerion Wimbley is the right outside linebacker, has played extremely well but offenses have adapted to his quickness off the edge. He will need to adapt if wants to get his numbers back to what they were his rookie year, where he had 11 sacks(he only had 4 last season). He will joined on the outside by Antwan Peek, who was nagged by injuries all last season. Rookie Beau Bell can deliver punishing hits but isn't schooled enough to be an every down player yet. Veteran Willie McGinestt is back for his 15th season, he offers some depth and some leadership that is needed on such a young team.

The improved defensive line will help out the secondary as well. This unit gave up 29 touchdown passes last season and traded starter Leigh Bodden in the Rogers deal. Eric Wright and Brandon McDonald will be the starters at corner, and should improve with the experience they have gained playing with safeties Brodney Poole and Sean Jones. McDonald is in a battle for the starting job with Daven Holley at right cornerback. The loser will get the job at the nickel back position. The Browns have signed some cornerbacks during training camp so they can add more depth.

Season Outlook:
The Browns face a tougher schedule, along with the rest of the AFC North, but they will be ready for it. They are hungry from missing the playoffs in 2007, and they will not be satisfied until they make it to January. I see them winning 12 games, and becoming a force in the AFC.

Schedule:
Week 1: Sep 07 Dallas 4:15 PM FOX
Week 2: Sep 14 Pittsburgh 8:15 PM NBC
Week 3: Sep 21 @ Baltimore 4:15 PM CBS
Week 4: Sep 28 @ Cincinnati 1:00 PM CBS
Week 5: Bye Week
Week 6: Oct 13 Giants 8:30 PM ESPN
Week 7:Oct 19 @ Washington 4:15 PM CBS
Week 8: Oct 26 @ Jacksonville 4:05 PM CBS
Week 9: Nov 02 Baltimore 1:00 PM CBS
Week 10:Nov 06 Denver 8:15 PM NFL NETWORK
Week 11: Nov 17 @ Buffalo 8:30 PM ESPN
Week 12: Nov 23 Houston 1:00 PM CBS
Week 13: Nov 30 Indy 1:00 PM CBS
Week 14: Dec 07 @ Tennessee 1:00 PM CBS
Week 15: Dec 15 @ Philadelphia 8:30 PM ESPN
Week 16: Dec 21 Cincinnati 1:00 PM CBS
Week 17: Dec 28 @ Pittsburgh 1:00 PM CBS