Traditionally, the dinner table is where families count their blessings, share what happened to them during the day, and form the discourse that makes a family homogenous unit, but for months, the Bronco family has eaten in silence. The family patriarch and step father Josh McDaniels could no longer bear the silence, so he faced his stepson Brandon Marshall and said the following: "I know I'm not your real Dad and that I'm a lot younger than your Mother, but I want you to think of me as your new Dad."
Brandon responded rather coldly, "Dude, what makes you think you'll ever be my father?"
To which McDaniels responded, in an effort to save face in front of Brandon's siblings, "You will call me father, young man."
This order by McDaniels was followed by Brandon violently scooting his chair back from the table, batting his water glass onto the floor, punting his plate into the wall, and storming out of the kitchen, yelling, "That sh!t ain't ever gonna happen!"
McDaniels turned to wife and whispered, "He will call me father."
But while Mrs. Bronco patted her husband's hand and pondered how to comfort him, her son stomped back into the room, screaming, "Why are you even here?!? You know you're the reason Jay left!"
"Jay didn't choose to leave. I sent him to the neighbors in exchange for having to walk their dog Orton once a week!" McDaniels fired back, stabbing at the air with his fork.
Currently, Brandon is grounded without any television, phone, or computer privileges, and outsiders are left to wonder if the presence of Brandon's real father might have helped matters, before they became irreparable.
In other news around the League, Edgerrin James behaves like an actual adult and proclaims himself the Manu Ginobili of the NFL.
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